


Welcome to Serrice

by PenMasterShepard



Series: Welcome to Life [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-04-26 20:57:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 57,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5020261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PenMasterShepard/pseuds/PenMasterShepard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a universe without Reapers, N7 training, and the Alliance, our college-aged protagonists live very different, but oh so familiar, lives. Part 1 of Welcome to Life</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For newcomers: this is Part One of a series I hadn't planned on being a series. But things happened and it took on a life of its own... 
> 
> The first few chapters are weak, and short, and are begging for an overhaul, but stick with it! Judging by the positive response I've received, it's worth it ;)

“Get with it, Lola!” Vega roared. Shepard groaned and felt the mud squelch against her cheek before she lifted herself off the ground. Wiping it away with the back of one hand she spat out a mouthful of clay and grimaced; the rest of her squad were at the far end of the field already, desperate to fend off another goal. She felt the stinging of a bad scrape where her shirt had ridden up when she slid across the grass and dirt. Her left hand was also scratched, but nothing she hadn’t seen before.

 _Well dammit_  

The whistle blew. Shepard clenched her teeth and threw her arms up in surrender as James looked back at her.

 

“Well, we lost.” He said, holding out a hand as he approached, lifting her off her feet. The simulation team faded into nothingness; at least they didn’t have to deal with gloating winners at practice.

“I see that.”

“Well, hell, we tried,” he gave her a slap on the shoulder and took off in a sprint toward the rest of the team. “Alright guys,” he winked at Shepard as she slid into the huddle to join him. “And gals.” He blew out a breath, “I got nothing. We played like shit, go take a shower.” He swore in Spanish under his breath and snapped his neck from side to side, producing sharp cracks.

 

“Come on, Lola, if you hurry I’ll soap your back.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, “Not even if you were the last man on this Earth-err, Thessia.”

“Si la belleza fuera un instante, tu serias la eternidad,” he serenaded over his shoulder as they reached the edge of the pitch.

Vega’s arms – arms the size of her thighs – rippled as he grabbed his bag, and, not for the first time, Jane wondered if he carried his whole life around in that duffle. Schoolbooks she figured. The captain of the spectacularly bad Serrice N7ers, skyballers extraordinaire, did have dark bags under his eyes lately. The University of Serrice wasn’t for the jocks of the world, but damned if he wasn’t trying.

 

 _“I’m not going to be the first one in my family to go to_ and then flunk out of _college, Lola,” he told her as they slumped against the bar, sharing beers during Orientation Week. His eyes wandered to the lithe freshmen by the door. She followed his gaze: Blonde, 3-inch heels, and a skirt cut high enough to let Shepard guess that the blonde probably wasn’t dyed._

_“Nope, no dropping out. Fuck that.” Shepard gave a sideways smirk, and knew he would be doing just that before the night was over. “And,” he pointed at Shepard with one thick finger, “I’m not gonna sail through on some biotiball scholarship either. I’m going to study.” He brought his fist down on the bar with each word, the young batarian at the end of the bar shifting uncomfortably on his stool, all four eyes watching the rowdy humans._

_“Hey buddy,” Vega said, raising his glass to the alien, “welcome to Serrice.”_

Ya, you’ll be studying alright _, Jane thought._ Anatomy. _She snorted into her beer._ Dweeb _._

 

The air was getting crisp, and she was giving silent thanks to God, or Athame, or whoever.

 _Finally_ , she thought, pulling her warm-up jacket over her jersey. She was sick of slathering sunscreen on every exposed inch of her fair and be-speckled skin; she actually wasn’t even sure it was worth it. Did this planet even have UV rays? That would explain the lobster-like complexion she had sported all summer.

 

She grabbed her own bag and jogged after Vega, pulling a cigarette from the pack stuck in the outer pocket. “Go ahead, James,” she called, stopping at the bleachers to light up, her slender fingers flicking the lighter deftly. She could see the tall buildings of the University coming alive with lit windows, the yellow glow somehow richer in the cold. She let out the first drag of smoke, startlingly white in the twilight that was descending, just as James made it back to her.

 

“You gotta give that up, Shepard, no wonder you can’t run for shit.”

“I run circles around you, you big lug,” she straddled the bench, leaning back and bracing her weight on both hands behind her. She took another puff, closing her eyes. She was getting too old for this. _Leave the sports to the kids_ , she thought.

“Classy,” he said, nodding at the smoke.

She opened her eyes, wincing as she stretched the tightness out of the fresh wound on her hand, running the other over her stomach. She tapped the ash off the end of her cigarette and onto the ground.

“We’re just having a lousy season, Captain, don’t blame me,” she said.

Vega stood over Shepard’s reclined form, pushing a finger into her sternum, “Listen, chica, try harder. I did for you guys. Do you think I liked all those extra credits I had to make up over the holidays? I did it so I could come back and lead your sorry ass to some kind of victory. We all gotta work together, I mean, can’t you all see that?”

 

“Noted.” Shepard replied, willing James to take a step back with her eyes. She didn’t need this, not now.

She needed to hit the showers and walk back to her apartment, where she could crawl into bed and binge-watch old Earth TV while she still had the chance, before papers piled up around her ears. She needed to get his goddamned mud off her face.

 

Vega did take a step back, no longer hovering over Shepard’s face. “Ah, what’s the point, if none of you listen to me? I told Bailey he’s got to cover your ass more on the approach, and Cortez has got to start watching his flank. You all need to start listening to-”

 

She had in fact stopped listening. Her attention had wandered to the entrance of the athletic complex, where a lone figure had wandered into the glow of one of the spotlights, alternating between scanning the field and studying the Omni-tool on her wrist, her brows knit together.

 

Shepard sat up instantly, swinging her legs over the bleachers and planting them, resting her elbows on her thighs. All of Vega’s talk of plays faded into white noise, fuzzy and unimportant.

All she saw was blue.

_Who is that?_


	2. Chapter 2

“Who is that?” She asked, looking up at Vega.

“Huh, what?” He turned to follow Shepard’s gaze, “My tutor? Oh, shit, I’m late. She’s going to kill me.”

Shepard got to her feet, stamping out her cigarette in the dirt. She pulled her shirt down - it had ridden up while lounging- and unconsciously ran her fingers through her sweat-damp hair.

“Vega. What’s her _name_?” Her eyes never left the asari, who had now spotted James and was tapping her wrist impatiently.  Shepard straightened her spine.

_She’s not even looking at you, idiot._

She licked her lips self-consciously and tasted dirt.

_Ah, fuck._

_Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m covered in mud. Figures._

Vega bent to pick up his bag once again and wiggled his eyebrows her. “Really Lola?“ It was Shepard’s turn to hit him, her eyes still locked on the woman. He laughed and ducked, “If I give her your number will you let me watch?”

She threw her bag at him, making him collapse into gales of laughter.

“What. Is. Her. Name?”

“Uh, Liara something. I think.” He actually scratched his head, “Laura, maybe? Lana?”

“Jesus, Vega, you’re a class act.”

“What?”

Shepard turned her eyes back to Liara-Laura-Lana-Something, only to find her gone, a trailing white coat disappearing through the doorway.

 

“Okay, shit, I really gotta go, or I am going to be murdered. With biotics.”

“If you don’t shower first you’re going to kill her with your stench.”

James grinned, “Nah, Lola, girls like a musky smell. It’s manly.” He flexed his enormous arms.

She certainly hoped that this particular girl decidedly did not.

Vega winked again and was gone, dashing across the field calling out, “Yo, Doc, wait up!”

 

Shepard took her time in the showers. All of the other female N7ers were long gone but she could hear the boys in the locker room across the hall, all towel snaps and Ooh-Rahs! She cherished the quiet as she tested the water with her uninjured hand, adjusting the tap a little west until it came out nice and hot.

Stripping off her uniform and throwing it into her gym bag she surveyed herself in the mirror, noting the wide abrasion that went from just below her navel to her right hipbone. Touching it gingerly she flinched at the raw, stinging sensation. She stepped into the shower and let the warm water clean her scratches before washing the mud off her face. She felt warmth that had nothing to do with the water creep up her face as she remembered how she had tried to strut in front of the asari with a face full of mud

 _She was far away,_ her brain tried to reassure her. _Maybe she didn’t notice._

Still, she felt foolish.

Might as well forget about it. James was probably sleeping with her anyway.

She held her face under the hot water.

_Fuck._


	3. Chapter 3

By the time Shepard had towel dried her hair and pulled on her tank top and jeans she had succeeded in pushing the asari from the forefront of her mind. Rounding the corner onto the main thorough fair of campus she shoved her hands in her pockets and hunkered down against the rising wind.

She passed only a few other students in the now full dark; the campus was starting to empty out for the night. Mind on her upcoming assignment and how she was going to tackle her paper on the First Contact War she barely noticed the light rain that had begun to fall. More mist than anything, she only snapped back to her surroundings when her arms began to bead water.

She stopped under one of the lampposts and pulled her jacket out of her bag. As she threaded her arms through it she mulled over arguments for her paper.

_General Williams’ actions on Shanxi led to greater human losses than necessary? No, that’s stupid, they all would have starved if he hadn’t surrendered._

_Without the First Contact War it would have taken humanity decades longer to discover they weren’t alone in the galaxy. Ya, good one Shep, and while you’re at it let’s discuss what Golding intended when he included the Conch…_

What did she know about Galactic politics?

 _Isn’t that what I’m here to learn?_ She thought, imagining her very turian professor reading her paper while wiping away tears of laugher from his yellow eyes before stamping a big fat F on the front page. The grade was vivid red in her mind’s eye.

 

A muffled crash and loud thump made her raise her head. It was comingfrom the History building. Looking up at the darkened building she saw one floor lit up like Christmas, four or five windows in a row spilling soft light out into the night.

Looking over her shoulder to see if anyone else had heard the commotion she slowly rose from her crouch and hesitated, wondering if she should just keep going.

 

_Whomp_

 

Whatever that was didn’t sound good. She quickly counted up to the lit floor, made a mental note, and strolled to the door, actually whistling.

 

_Real subtle, Jane. Next you’ll be holding a newspaper over your face._

 

She tried the pressure pad on the door, glaringly red, and wasn’t surprised when it flashed and beeped at her, effectively telling her to get lost. Crouching again, she brought her Omni-tool to the pad and hacked the lock while darting her head from left to right. It blazed green, allowing her to slip in.

 _This is so illegal. But on the upside, I feel like a goddamn Spectre,_ she thought, checking both sides of the darkened foyer for movement before dashing towards the stairwell door. Unlike the front, this one was open access.  

Smoker or not she took the stairs two at a time, and was barely breathing hard as she reached the sixth floor access. _My luck that salarian night janitor will look at me funny and report me for trespassing. That’ll look real good on my academic record._

_‘Ms. Shepard, let’s go through your record, shall we?’ Jane Shepard, Galactic History Major, B average, shitty skyball player, decent guitarist, great piano player. Criminal.’_

_Well yes, sir, I did break into the History building afterhours, but, you see, I heard a_ thump. _Very suspect._

 

But she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was doing the right thing.

 

As she turned into the second hallway she knew her instincts were spot on, for once. Shepard heard a high-pitched squeak from an open door ahead, a room labeled Archaeology. Shepard saw blue light flooding out, reflecting off the highly polished tile.

Breaking into a run she heard a voice.

“Uh… hello? Could somebody help me? Please?”

 

That voice. _That voice._

It made her stop in her tracks, a deep throb of desire in the pit of her stomach.

 

It was smoky. Breathy.

Like flowing silk.

_Melted chocolate, red wine, whiskey._

_Jesus Christ, that voice._

 

“Can you hear me out there? I am trapped. I need help!”

 

She came back to herself and dashed into the room, pulling back on her heels in time to avoid crashing into a wispy blue orb that floated in what was obviously a storage room. Worktables lined the perimeter of the room and shelves were arranged throughout the centre in stacks, each full of relics, papers, and obvious dig site finds.

In the centre of the orb, suspended with her arms outstretched, was an asari.

_The_ asari.

_Holy shit._


	4. Chapter 4

“Oh, thank the Goddess!” The Liara-Lana-Laura asari said, staring down at Shepard with blue eyes as big as saucers.

Shepard stared, mouth slightly open. She slammed it closed and gulped.

“Are you okay? What happened to you?” She dropped her bag on the floor and slowly walked closer to the orb, circling it.

“This thing I’m in is a Prothean security device,” the asari replied. “I cannot move, so I need you to get me out, alright?”

“Wait, a Prothean security device? How did you end up in there?” Shepard asked, her lips curling into a barely contained smile. This wasn’t funny.

Kismet maybe, but not funny.

She swore she saw the asari blush, a deep purple. Jane decided it was her new favourite colour.

The voice that came out of Lana-Liara-Laura was much meeker this time, but it reverberated in Shepard’s soul. “I was cleaning an artifact for a professor and, well, I must have hit something I wasn’t supposed to. I was trapped in here. You must get me out. Please.”

 

 

Shepard’s heart thumped against her chest, a hollow burn climbing at the word ‘please’. A slower burn crept up her cheeks.

She looked around for the artifact, “Okay, what am I looking for?” She asked, looking up at the trapped woman.

“Oh! Yes. Right. Well I probably bumped into the activation switch on that table by the door, but perhaps just placing the piece back on the table will reset the pressure plate?”

“Okay, honestly I only understood half of what you just said,” she admitted, “but I’ll figure it out.” She did as she was told and replaced the artifact on the table, after crawling under it to find the damn thing.

There was a brief buzz as the orb blipped into nothingness and Jane spun on her heels in time to catch the falling asari in her arms. She felt the warmth of her positively burn where they touched and quickly set her on her feet, clearing her throat and rubbing the back of her neck with her hand.

“Thank you. I would have been in there all weekend if you hadn’t come along. I’m Liara T’Soni.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm banging this out pretty quickly, and for the pure joy of it, so I know there are some tense issues. I'm working on 'em.

“Goddess, this is a mess you have gotten yourself into, T’Soni,” she mumbled, letting the orb take her weight. Floating helplessly she was grateful she could at least move her neck, glancing around the room and trying to find the dropped artifact.

 _Please, please, do not be broken._ Liara thought, closing her eyes and sighing. “I am going to lose my spot here.”

She cursed sending James home early. She cursed her temper, her clumsiness; this was entirely unlike her. It was entirely _unbecoming._ She imagined what she mother would say. That elicited another groan.

 _Maybe the janitor will find me?_ She thought. _My luck that jumpy salarian will hide in his broom closet, screaming Ardat-Yakshi!_

Just as she resigned herself to a long weekend of hunger and potentially urine-stained clothing she heard a door slam at the end of the hall.

“Uh… hello? Could somebody help me? Please?” She yelled, pleading with the Goddess silently.

“Can you hear me out there? I am trapped. I need help!”

A young human came rushing into the room, throwing her belongings aside and approaching the orb. Liara closed her eyes and exhaled relief.

“Oh, thank the Goddess!”

 

Liara had always been drawn to human hair, ever since she was a little girl in Armali, playing dress up with her mother and Shiala.

Young Liara had begged Benezia for a ‘hair wig’ for months before, beleaguered, she had given in.

 

_“Little Wing, a wig will not fit, Asari have crests, not hair” her mother had reasoned, the small blue child on her lap._

_“Oh, mother, I don’t mind,” Liara jumped down and went to the mirror, trying to flatten her crest with her hand. “Shiala will make it work!” Benezia and Shiala had locked eyes over Liara’s head._

_“Find her a suitable wig,” Benezia had said through her teeth while her daughter preened._

_“Oh! It is absolutely perfect,” Liara cried, pulling the wig onto her head; it was lopsided and stuck off at odd angles._

_“I am glad you like it, Lady Liara,” Shiala replied, eyes dancing. Benezia held the back of her hand over her mouth, tittering._

_Later, after much convincing that one does not wear their wigs to bed, the two women met in the hallway outside the little girl’s bedroom._

_“Blue, Shiala? You bought her a blue wig?”_

_“It seemed fitting, Matriarch.”_

 

It was years before Liara realized human hair did not, in fact, come in shades of blue.

_“Mother, there is no need to-“_

_“Hush, Liara, the Matriarch will love this story,” a glass of wine in hand, dangerously close to spilling over._

_“I was child-I-oh dear-” she tried not squirm._

_The tinkering of laughter, “Yes, oh yes, and she even used to wear it to school!”_

_“Mother, it was phase-” at this point she had usually looked down at her drink and realized it wasn’t nearly strong enough._

But there was a part of her – one she wasn’t ready to admit - that wanted to reach out and feel the strands between her fingers.

Was it soft or coarse? Would it hurt if she touched it?

Pulled it?

Hypotheses began to form.

The woman’s hair was a shade the asari had never seen in person - a vibrant red, the colour of Earth autumn.

She wondered how it would smell.

 _Well that’s entirely irrelevant to anything,_ she thought, feeling a purple blush rise up her cheeks.

Heat began to rise.

Then their eyes locked for the first time – blue meeting green – and Liara actually shuddered when she exhaled breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

For the first time in her life Liara T’Soni felt- well, she wasn’t sure.

But something.


	6. Chapter 6

Shepard didn’t believe her luck.

_Step one: rescue damsel_

_Step two: learn damsel’s name_

_Step three: fall endlessly into those eyes and convince her to marry me._

Okay, two out of three wasn’t bad, but she still had a way to go.

She realized she was standing very close to Liara, close enough to count the trail of freckles on her cheeks.

 _Jesus, she’s beautiful,_ Shepard thought, lost in eyes of endless ultramarine. She wants to fall into them and drown. _Literally._

 _Just kill me now and get it over with,_ she thought, _there is no way Vega isn’t tapping that._

_Well you’re the one who rescued her, that has to count for something. Right?_

_Yay. Pity sex,_ she mentally groaned.

Wait, where was Vega? Was this some kind of kinky thing gone wrong? She momentarily considered getting a tutor, if this was what it was all about…

 _She’s fully clothed._ She heard Vega’s voice in her head, _Lola,_ _I’m good, but I’m not that good._

Jane was brought back to reality by Liara clearing her throat. She took a step back and Jane flinched. _Great, now I’m the weirdo who stands and drools, silently._

“I mean, if you’d rather-“ Shepard realized too late she’d missed all of what Liara had said.

“Liara?” She blurted out, “I’m Shepard, err-Jane, Shepard. Shepard’s my last name. Uh, Jane, that’s my first name…”

“Yes, I’m aware of human naming conventions.” Liara looked puzzled for a moment, those beautiful eyes squinting in concern. “I was just saying, you’re James’ friend, or, um, teammate, correct? I saw you on the pitch,” Liara continued.

“Uh, oh, I dunno. Maybe?”

“Yes, you had mud on your face,” she smiled, evidently pleased with herself at the correct recollection.

“Oh, ya. Yep. Yep, that was me.” Shepard willed the floor to open up, swallow her, and end her misery. Liara noticed Shepard’s face was suddenly the same colour as her hair.

“I should go,” Shepard said, rubbing her neck again.

“Oh. Sorry. I did not mean to-” Liara dropped her face to the floor.

“No!” Jane reached out her hand and let it linger in the air for a moment before and dropping it to her side. “I just mean I don’t think I’m allowed in here, am I?”

Liara blinked at her.

_This going terribly wrong._

“I was just covered in mud, after all…” Shepard smirked, desperately trying to bring the sinking ship back to shore.

“What? No. I did not mean to –oh dear. I just meant that you seem to be athletic, not the kind of person who... No-- that’s even worse.”  
_She’s adorable,_ Jane thought.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Shepard said as she reached out and touched Liara on the shoulder. The asari jumped under her hand. “I was only joking.”

“Joking? Oh, by the Goddess! How could I be so dense? You must forgive me, I’m not used to, uh, joking with other people.”

“I find that hard to believe, Liara, you’re captivating.”

 _Oh, the way she says my name,_ Liara’s heart hammered. _And she must think I am a complete and utter fool._

“Unfortunately, Shepard, you are in the minority there.”

 _I never want to hear anyone else say my name ever again,_ Shepard thought. She made it her life’s goal to draw her name from those blue lips again.

And again, and again. Preferably while Liara was writhing beneath her.

Jane leaned back against a table, crossing her ankles and arms. “So, a Prothean artifact, huh? Your professor actually let you have the keys to this place?” She whistled, low and long, “The librarian still looks at me like I’m going to try and eat the OSDs I sign out.”

Liara laughed, clasping her hands behind her back, suddenly not really sure what else to do with them; she had noticed the subtle way Shepard’s arms flexed under her jacket.

_Oh my._

“Well, I’m a very good archaeology student.” Shepard caught a coy timbre there, flirtatious even. _My God,_ she thought.

“Actually, I’m doing my Doctorate dissertation work, and I do my part by helping to catalogue these relics while I research.”

“Your PhD?” Images of Liara in a plaid skirt, ‘Please try and be quiet, this is a library, you naughty girl;’ of taking Liara on a desk- bent over the desk, papers and data pads flying…

_You’re terrible._

“Just how old are you, exactly?” Shepard asked, leaning forward.

“Well, I hate to admit it but I’m only 106.”

“Oh, is that all?” Shepard drawled, doing the mental math.

Liara blushed that wonderful lilac colour Jane loved and continued, “I am barely considered more than a child, for an asari.”

“Well,” Shepard uncrossed her arms, coming out of her relaxed position with the dangerous speed of a predator, “in that case, I really should help you get home safely then, no?”

_Or walk you to that janitor’s closet I passed on the way in…_

There was a glint in her eye that disarmed Liara, who drew her hands to her chest as Jane passed. Shepard turned back and noticed the hesitant look on her face,

“I mean, I can walk you home.” Whatever winds that had billowed her sails died. She’d made a complete creep of herself in front of this wonderfully awkward, curious creature who had stolen her heart in a matter of moments.

It’s okay; she’d strike out with this lovely, shy woman, and walk home with slumped shoulders to look up some decidedly inappropriate vids.

She heard Vaenia was good.

Oh, who the fuck was she kidding? Vaenia was hidden under her mattress.

“Oh, no, I’m fine,” Liara guided Jane out of the room, shutting off the light on her way. As they headed down the main staircase, which Shepard noted was a much better route than her own, Liara’s hand brushed against hers. They both stopped and avoided eye contact, the air crackling with electricity. Lightning in a bottle.

“I live in the dorm,” Liara tried to fill the empty space left behind, her own variation of thunder. Shepard dashed ahead and held the door open, managing to step on Liara’s foot as she rushed to fulfill her chivalrous duty.

“Uh, sorry.”

“Think nothing of it.”

“Anyway, it’s mostly freshmen of course, but they conceded when they realized how much time I spent here after hours, researching.” She pointed to the large glass complex in the distance.

“No trouble. That’s the direction of my apartment.” It wasn’t. “I’m going that way anyway.” She wasn’t; she’s lying.

She’s a terrible person, but she can’t help it. She had to see Liara smile one more time. To hear her name spill off those lips, one more time.

 

The walk wasn’t long enough. Mostly in silence they strolled through the campus, Jane wished she had the guts to offer Liara her jacket, to drape it over her shoulders.

Jane learns Liara is studying Prothean extinction. Liara learns Jane dropped out of basic but has always regretted it. They both catch themselves falling in love, tidbit at time, raindrop by raindrop. Neither admits it.

They stopped at the door to the residence, facing each other and standing stock-still.

“Well, goodnight.” Liara finally said.

“Night.”

_Don’t go. Invite me up. Marry me!_

Liara pressed her palm against the sensor pad at the door and it flashed green. She waved and was gone, up the elevator. Shepard stood outside the glass for a long time - long enough to get truly drenched – and watched the spot where Liara had disappeared.

She turned and headed back the way they had come.

 

From her window Liara saw this strange human called Shepard walk toward the History building and smiled a slow smile.

 _Jane_ she thought, _not just Shepard. Jane Shepard._

“Aren’t you pleased with yourself, T’Soni,” her roommate threw one white leather clad arm around Liara’s shoulder and peeked out the window. She hummed appreciatively at Shepard’s retreating form.

Liara turned away from the ledge, “Good evening, Aria,” she said, “I think I will get ready for bed.”

As she headed to her room Aria took one last look at the human’s back, her dark eyes narrowed. “Ya, you do that.”

 

As Shepard shed her wet clothing she left them where they dropped. For once she wished she had a roommate – the apartment echoed as she paced the hall.

The day had been a strange one.

She fell asleep on top of the blankets, thinking about Liara.


	7. Chapter 7

“Professor.”

Tevos looked up from the papers on her desk, “Ms. T’Loak.” Her eyes stayed on the tall asari leaning against her doorframe, but her hands were busy stacking the tests into a neat pile.

Aria snorted and stepped into the office. The door slid shut with a hiss and she locked it with a flick, the pad turning red.

Tevos made a noise in her throat. There were too many teeth in that smile.

The click of her heeled boots as she strode across the floor sent a shiver up Tevos’ spine. Aria stepped around the desk and leaned against it, forcing Tevos to put down her red marking pen and meet her gaze.

Tevos licked her lips and folded her hands in her lap.

“I am very busy right now, Aria, if you would come back later I could arrange for a meeting.”

Aria tilted forward, trapping Tevos between her arms, their lips a hair width apart. At the last second Aria changed direction and placed a soft kiss on her neck where it met her jaw, drawing a soft sigh out of her.

“Is that so, Teach?” Aria asked, hot breath against the side of her crest, a liquid gold tongue running along the grooves.

“The papers…” Tevos managed to say, Aria’s leather jacket creaking in her ear.

Her colleagues often berated her for using actual paper for her students’ test, but she found it was easier to ensure honesty when pen met paper.

“Is one of them mine?” Aria asked and Tevos managed to shake her head, hot skin pressed into Aria’s, “Then fuck them.”

Aria ran a hand along her face, tracing the white markings with a finger, following them down her neck and over the clingy material of her dress. All she could smell was leather.

She felt her nipple stiffen under Aria’s hand and arched into the gloved grip as she moaned something that sounded like her name.  
“I thought it was ‘Ms. T’Loak?’ ”

Tevos shut her up with a hard kiss, covering Aria’s hand with her own and wrapping the other around her back, pulling her closer. She titled her head, letting Aria’s tongue explore her neck. Tevos ran her hands up Aria’s arms, pushing the white leather jacket off her shoulders. It fell to the ground and Aria stepped back, looking down her nose at the professor. She bent over – a little too far, showing off a little too much - and picked it up, folding it into a neat square before she placed it on the desk. She turned back to Tevos; hand on one cocked hip, bare-shouldered and smoldering. Tevos’ ran her hand up and down her own thigh, the white stripe that divided her lower lip between her teeth.

Aria slowly walked around the chair and slid in behind her, those strong hands returning to her breasts, kneading them hard. She felt bites along her neck, could hear Aria’s breath hitch as she drew up the hem of her dress and guided Aria’s hand along her inner thigh and into her wetness.

A smile cracked her self-assured features as she leaned her head back onto a purple shoulder. Aria had her eyes closed and Tevos felt a pang of adoration; the perpetual scowl was wiped from that angular face - the square jaw relaxed instead of clenched, brows lifted up in surrender.

“You’re not as bad-tempered as you lead them all to think, Ms. T’Loak,” she whispered as she turned her head to waiting lips.

“And you’re not nearly as composed when you’re screaming my name,” Aria replied as she entered her, body and mind, with a suddenness that pulled a cry from Tevos’ throat, eyes black with desire.

Grasping at curling heat, Aria was relentless and when Tevos came with a frantic, high-pitched moan Aria cried out behind her and bucked against her leather pants, desperate for friction.

Her body still trembling, Tevos was swept up in Aria’s arms and slammed against the surface of the desk, Aria’s head worked between her legs as she tore at her own pants. She tucked Aria’s jacket under her head as plum thighs came crashing down on either side of her face, Tevos’ hands clutching at pounding hips. Aria began to shake almost immediately and went still with a silent howl to the ceiling. As they both slid off the desk Tevos pulled down her dress, smoothed out the lines, and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

“We need to stop doing this.”

Aria turned to her, her eyes fading back to violet as she deftly fastened her pants and pulled on her jacket. The scowl was back.

“You didn’t seem to mind doing _this_ ,” she replied, popping her collar and slumping into Tevos’ chair, legs and arms crossed.

“I am your professor, Aria, we can’t continue to sneak around. I am going to lose my job,” she was bent, grabbing papers from the floor, straightening and stacking them in her hands. She made a move to place them on her desk before thinking better of it and walking them to a shelf, where they dropped with an audible thud in the silence of the room. “Don’t you agree?”

“I’m not a child, Thea,” Aria replied, flicking dust off her sleeve, “We are both adults here, who happen to have a…”

_Relationship,_ Tevos thought.

“…Arrangement,” Aria continued, noticing the far away look in her lover’s eye, “One I happen to like, very much.”

“Then start acting like an adult,” Tevos shot back, hands braced on the desk, “Stop strutting around this campus doing illicit things –“ Aria looked up, the unflappable queen no more. “-Yes, I know about all your little ‘projects’. What are you doing here, Aria? What are we doing? You barely take your classes seriously, I know you don’t take _me_ seriously, so why would I risk my career for-“ she waved her hand around the office, to the remaining strewn papers, the smug asari in her chair, “-this?”

Aria sneered, standing and stalking around the desk, close enough to Tevos to see the flecks in her green eyes, “Your career? That’s a laugh. You’re not a General, or a politician, Tevos. You’re a teacher. One who has been involved in a certain _illicit activity_ for quite some time.”

“Aria, why are you even here, with me?”

She threw her hands up, “Fuck it. you’re right, I’m sick of this bureaucratic hellhole anyway,” she narrowed her eyes, “and if I have to listen to your sad-sap bullshit one more time I’m going to turn us in myself. You’ll lose your precious job, but all I’m going to lose is a terrible lay.”

Tevos straightened her spine and pressed her lips into a thin line, crossing her arms in front of her chest, “Get out of my office.”

“If I do, I’m not coming back. Don’t fuck with Aria, Teach.”

“Get. Out.” Tevos turned her back to Aria and shuffled papers around her desk until she heard the door slide shut and that familiar click fading away, then she sat and put her face in her hands and wept.

 

 

Aria stalked out of the Poli Sci building, shoving a rasping volus student out of her way as she went. Snakes coiled in her stomach and her nostrils flared as she stomped her way through campus. She saw red, no, beyond red – she saw white.

 

All she really wanted to see was purple.

 

She wanted to take it all back; she wanted to hurt Tevos. She wanted to set fire to the first person who looked at her crossways; she wanted to pick those wild flowers and go back on hand and knee, _forgive me. I don’t want this to end._

_I’ll drop out, I’ll stop selling drugs, just take me back._

_I can’t live without you._

“Fuck her.” She said aloud. She shot daggers at a teal skinned asari that dared to smile at her on the path. Her smile faltered and she mumbled _bitch_ , under her breath.

 Aria was on her in a moment, her arm pressed against her neck as she held her up on the wall; she dropped her books in the mud.

“Try me, beautiful, go ahead.” She hissed, teeth barred.

“Hey, hey, what’s going on here?” Came a voice from her right.

“Who are you, the Queen of the Fucking Girl Scouts?”

“Let her go.”

She looked out of the corner of her eye, “You’re Shepard, aren’t you?” Shepard grabbed Aria’s shoulder and Aria spun on her, letting the girl scurry away.

“Get your hands off me,” she glared, grabbing Shepard’s arm and twisting it behind her back.

“You’ll be damned lucky if she doesn’t find campus security and report you, you know.” Shepard said, not flinching, not trying to break free.

Aria laughed and rolled her eyes, letting her arm go and brushing off the sleeves of her jacket. “Ooo, campus police. I’m shaking…” She looked at this Jane Shepard, the woman who had her poor virginal roommate in a tizzy. “You’re serious, aren’t you?” She noticed Shepard clenching and unclenching her fist, made a mental note to duck any punches manually - to _not_ kill the human with biotics. Her roommate would be very cross.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Shepard met Aria’s gaze with an intensity the asari wasn’t used to and she felt a sudden burst of anger at Tevos, of all people.

Tevos was noble, Tevos had morals, Tevos had hated her - what had she called them? - Illicit activities? Would have stepped in to intervene. Tevos had the same killer hips.

The corner of Aria’s mouth turned up in a smirk. “Come on, Girl Scout, let’s go grab a drink.”


	8. Chapter 8

Liara went from task to task in a fog, her eyes simultaneously searching for that familiar red hair and trying to avoid eye contact with everyone lest they be Shepard.

_Get a grip, Liara, it’s been a week, you haven’t seen her, she’s forgotten about you._

On the other hand, Shepard had lingered outside her door, had been very interested in her very dull PhD research, had saved her from her – uh – embarrassing predicament; all those signs pointed to interest, did they not?

_Maybe she was a hallucination; maybe you really did spend all weekend in that bubble, maybe you’re losing your mind._

Now, cataloging the same artifact that had brought them together she sighed and – carefully – put the stonework piece down, resigning her thoughts to those green eyes, the strong hands that had caught her, and the hair she still wanted to pull.

_Goddess, Liara, get a hold of yourself_.

“There’s one logical solution to this,” she said to herself as she fiddled with her wrist.

_A very simple, terrifying, solution._

She brought her Omni-tool to life and punched in her contact for James Vega.

“Mr. Vega,” she squeaked as James’ voice chimed out a hello, “Would you be so kind as to do me a favour?”

 

 

During her entire college career Shepard hadn’t spent as much time lingering on campus as she had for the past week. She hung around the History building between classes, she ate every meal in the cafeteria, and she even attended a few open archaeology lectures after her skyball practices, hoping to spot that familiar shade of blue.

Unfortunately for her, there was a lot of blue on Thessia.

 

She refused to cave, keeping tight-lipped about her encounter, hadn’t even told James what had happened after practice that night.

Not that he forgot her initial dumfounded awe.

“Lola, come on, let me set you up. Look, I have her number right here,” Vega huffed, keeping pace with Shepard on the track.

“Whose number, James?” She replied, feigning innocence but turning red.

“The Doc’s number, you love-sick puta.” He dodged a half-hearted punch.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she yelled back to him, pulling ahead and flashing him the finger.

“I see you hanging around all day, hoping to get a glimpse of those blue eyes!” He called, “Dios, she _can_ run…” He sprinted after her.

 

On the seventh day she was lounging on a bench that simply happened to be on the path to Liara’s residence when she saw a glowering, purple skinned asari with strange half-moon markings stomp down the lane, practically shoving students as she went. Dressed in a black corset and pants, and a white and red leather jacket she struck one hell of a figure. The black-heeled boots had Shep raising an eyebrow in interest.

_She’s got legs for days._ She thought, standing and following the path the asari took, deciding she might as well grab a bite to eat while she stalked--err--loitered.

_Loitered. You’re not a stalker. Or a criminal._

_You simply broke into a building and now practically sleep here…_

Her rambling thoughts were broken by a scuffle by the wall to her left, one involving a recognizable white leather jacket. She ran over and grabbed the asari’s shoulder, side stepping as she went, attempting to circumvent any more physical alterations for the day; this plan was foiled by her arm being deftly twisted, the snarling woman suddenly behind her, tearing open her hand wound.

_Damn, she moves like a dancer,_ she found herself thinking as she balled her fist to stop the slow leak of blood, _this girl could hurt me._

_You might like it._

 

“Come on, Girl Scout, let’s go grab a drink.”

 

The campus pub, Afterlife, was dark and cramped, once a small classroom, now a catchall for booze, coffee, Thessian tea, and snack food. The ancient decor was in stark contrast to the sleek, metallic and stone of the rest of the campus; scuffed floors, honest-to-god wooden tables, dim café lighting - a mirror over the cantina area was the only bright spot, reflecting the day into the space. There were only three other people in the place.

The woman behind the counter was just as out-of-place. Rail thin, shaved head, covered in tattoos, Shepard instantly liked her – and was a little afraid.

“Shepard, meet Jack – Jack, meet Shepard.”

“Hello,” she extended her hand to Jack, who looked at it and back up at Shepard without taking it.

“You’re shitting me, right Aria? Where’s your pet Professor?”

“Shut up,” Aria shot her a cold look and Jack actually withered. It was barely noticeable; Jane thought that not many people could have that effect on her.

“How do you know my name?” Shepard turned to Aria, voicing the question that had been brewing in her head since they had met.

“Well, you’re on the skyball team,” Aria replied, shrugging and turning back to the cash area and Jack.

“How’s business?” Aria leaned on the counter, tilting her head to Jack while Shepard shuffled from foot to foot. _I should go,_ she thought, but then Jack passed her a beer.

Aria took an espresso and some kind of green shot. She clinked the shot to Shepard’s glass and downed it, then sipped the coffee; the juxtaposition of her mannerisms made Shepard tingle, tap dancers on her spine. She gulped.

“Go on, Girl Scout, it’s decent stuff. Not top shelf but, hell, it’s on the house-“

“Well, it’s on Aria,” Jack corrected, “and I didn’t poison it, Jesus, drink.”

As Jane took a swig and nodded at her glass – it was good – Aria turned back to Jack, “So, how is business?”

“Booming, here,” she ducked under the counter and brought out a credit chit, handing it to the asari. “Your cut this week, and the leftovers,” she pushed a bag of a powdered red substance to Aria, who tucked it in her jacket. Shepard tried not to choke on her drink, _holy shit._ She held her beer in a vice grip, smudging blood on the glass.

“What?” Aria said, raising her brow, those half moon markings elongating.

“Nothing,” she answered, downing the rest of her drink and placing the glass on the counter, digging in her pocket for her own chit.

“Don’t worry about it,” Aria waved her gloved hand, but Shepard didn’t back down. She knew better than to accept favours from drug dealers.

“Don’t insult my hospitality, Shepard,” Aria drawled, locking eyes with the human.

“Holy shit, you’re bleeding all over my fucking bar,” Jack broke the moment, _whatever moment that was,_ she thought.

“Oh, yeah, sorry, sports injury. Nothing serious; nothing impressive even,” she held up her hand, “your friend here just ripped it open with a little dance move earlier.”

Aria grabbed her hand and for a moment Shepard thought she was going to lick the blood off her palm.

“I don’t often employ violence, Shepard,” she almost whispered, “hmmm.” She turned Shepard’s hand around in her own, those watery eyes flitting from her cut to her blushing face. “Thanks for the drink, Jack, we’re going to leave and I’m going to take care of poor Shepard here.” Jack waved an arm in dismissal as Aria marched Shepard out of the door and into the daylight.

“So, I should go,” Shepard said, trying to guide herself out of Aria’s grip.

“No, I repay my debts, and you stopped me from doing something very stupid.” Each word this asari spoke as annunciated, dripping with crisp confidence, Shepard thought, as she let herself be led towards the residence. She was so different than Liara, but equally alluring. _I could climb her like a tree,_ she thought. “So I am going to fix your hand.” As they walked through the residence door Shepard looked left and right for Liara, hoping that she would finally come face to face with the young asari.

_Be careful what you wish for, Shep - just look at this one’s cleavage._

_Shut up James._

 

 

Liara was pacing the artifact room, having punched in the first six digits of Jane Shepard’s contact number at least four times, hesitating and closing her Omni-tool before the seventh. She sat down at the table and began taking notes on a Prothean disc and before long she was lost in her work. It was almost dark when she looked up again, tapping her pen against her chin. She made one final note and crated the find, packing up and opening her Omni-tool to make a calendar item for herself. On impulse she dialed Shepard’s number – all of it – and let it ring.

It rang several times and Liara sighed, letting it go to voicemail.

“Uh, hello, Shepard – Jane – it’s Liara T’Soni, um, we met- well, you know how we met.” Liara blushed purple and continued, “I was just calling to say hello, um, I hadn’t had a chance to thank you for- well, if you wouldn’t mind calling me back my contact is sent over. Okay, bye,” she ended the recording and thanked the Goddess she chose a voice message and not a vid. She pushed the option to forward her information along and deactivated her Omni-tool as she headed into the dusk.


	9. Chapter 9

“So, drugs huh?” Shepard asked, sitting on the edge of Aria’s bed, the asari busy in her closet grabbing medical supplies. She appeared in the doorframe and shot Shepard an amused look. “How did you get into that?”

“Well that’s as privileged as information gets, and I don’t know you nearly well enough to tell you that,” she said, kicking off her boots and walking barefoot across the floor. “Short answer, mind your own damned business,” she grabbed Shepard’s still-bleeding palm and unwrapped the bandage she had applied. “Now, I’m guessing you don’t have any medi-gel, didn’t apply any?” Shepard made a non-committal noise, rubbing the back of her neck with her uninjured hand.

Aria squeezed the tube onto her hand and she felt a stinging hotness followed by an overwhelming cooling sensation. Aria ran her thumb over the closing wound and Shepard shivered.

She didn’t think it had anything to do with the medi-gel.

“Drink, Shepard?” She asked, holding up her drained glass. They had shared a bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy, Shepard’s first, and it had gone down well. So well in fact it had begun to grow dark before they had even tended to her injury.

“Sure, why not.”

She followed Aria out into the kitchen and wandered around the small apartment. Barely more than a room, the door opened into a hallway, shared kitchen, and living room. Two doors fanned out into Aria’s room, and one that must’ve been her absent roommate’s; it reminded Jane of an aircraft.

She ran her hand over the well-stocked bookshelf, each datapad had a labeled spine, but they were all in an asari language she couldn’t read. There were old rocks and obsidian coloured statuettes decorating the shelves. Before Shepard could open a datapad and translate she heard the clink of glasses being set on the small coffee table.

Aria was lounging on the plush red leather couch, at odds with the artifacts, books, and other worldly items. She patted the spot next to her and Shepard slid the tablet back into its place and sat, picking up her drink and taking a sip.

“Jesus, what is this?” She sputtered, resisting the urge to claw at her tongue.

“Ryncol,” Aria laughed and downed hers, placing her glass on the table and letting her hand rest on Shepard’s thigh. Jane looked at her glass, then down at Aria’s hand, breathing deeply. Aria lifted her hand and took Shepard’s in it; turning it over and looking at the spot where the cut had been, “healed.” She looked at Shepard’s face, “it looks nice.” Shepard swallowed hard and took her hand back, rubbing it over her neck.

“That’s cute,” Aria nodded, “that little tell.”

“Uh, I think I’m going to go,” she said, making a move to stand.

_This chick…_

Aria moved like water, she was straddling Shepard before she knew what was happening.

“I can see you’re drawn to me, Shepard, but it makes you uncomfortable,” she wiggled closer, their bodies pressed close. “Who else is in that spinning mind of yours, I wonder?” Jane didn’t answer, simply removed her hand from the back of her neck.  

“So, Shepard,” she drawled, “what do you study here?” Aria ran one finger along her jaw, up to her earlobe. “Politics?” She leaned in closer, tugging her ear in punctuation. “Art?” She grabbed Shepard’s hands and ran her own over them, “no, your hands are too rough.” Shepard rested her hands on Aria’s thighs, unsure where else to put them- knowing exactly where she wanted to put them. Aria placed hers over them and began to run both sets up and down the leather. She tilted them inward and Shepard could feel her heat through the fabric. “Please, tell me, if I’m… getting close.”

“Galactic History,” she choked out.

“Hmmm.”

Aria slipped Shepard’s shirt up over her flat stomach and Shepard whimpered as she stripped off her gloves with her teeth. She ran purple hands up along the human’s ribs, under her shirt, and Shepard leaned back into the couch, inadvertently raising her hips to meet Aria’s. Aria took a deep breath through her nose and met Shepard’s eyes. Those pale eyes were something.

 _Not Liara something,_ she thought, _but something._ She shook it away.

The friction of their hips meeting nearly undid Shepard. It was maddening and terrible and wonderful and she was wet. She let out a moan and in that instant she knew she was done for, this severe asari was going to reduce her to a quivering puddle without even removing her clothing. All thoughts of leaving, well, left.

Aria leaned forward and took her in a searing kiss, all teeth and tongues; she tasted the sharp Ryncol and the sweet brandy, and under it something distinctly Aria – _gunpowder and nutmeg_ , she thought absently. _Steel and cinnamon._

Aria took her bottom lip between her teeth and almost drew blood with her fierceness, grasping both sides of Shepard’s face with her hands. Shepard wrapped her arms around her and ran them down her back, up under the hem of her corset, and grasped her ass in her palms, squeezing, feeling Aria’s moan through their kiss.

Aria tilted back, and began to undo the clasps on her corset, smacking Shepard’s hands away when she tried to assist; Shepard grabbed her hips instead and Aria began to rotate them slowly, grinding their pelvises together.

Shepard looked down to where their bodies met and felt fire in the pit of stomach, the rise of desire. She wanted to see all of her, wanted her hot skin against her own.

As the corset fell open Aria grabbed her own breasts and crushed them with her hands, before dropping them with a bounce and peeling Shepard’s shirt off her back. Shepard struggled out of it and lowered her head to a dark purple nipple, flicking it with her tongue. Aria surged forward and hissed, fisting Shepard’s hair in encouragement.

As Shepard switched to the left breast Aria’s hand flew between where their bodies pressed together and rubbed the seam of her jeans, rough enough to feel hot damp, and Jane bucked up into the touch as she kissed her way up the asari’s chest, nibbling on her neck and tracing the jagged purple marking on Aria’s cheek.

They rolled their hips in tandem, gasping into each other’s mouths as they met again, and Aria let out surprised laugh, swollen lips parting, as Shepard lifted her in her arms and laid her on the couch, licking her way back down her neck, chest and stomach.

Aria wrapped her legs around Shepard’s and swayed forward, hands on Shepard’s shoulders, using her momentum to rock them upright before pinning Shepard under her. Shepard wished she had removed her pants, wanted to feel Aria’s wetness on her stomach.

As she ran her hands along the asari’s muscled abdomen Shepard tried to sit up and take one of those heavy breasts in her mouth, but Aria slammed her shoulders back down on the couch, rubbing Jane’s stiffening nipples in circles through the fabric of her bra. She looked down with hooded eyes and nimbly stepped out of her position, holding one hand out to Shepard.

“Come.”

She wasn’t sure if it was an order or a request, but she obeyed, letting Aria lead her down the hallway, one hand in her own, the other trailing against the wall.

 

Aria dragged her into her room, kicking the door closed behind her and shoving her onto the bed with a surge of blue biotics. She stripped off her jacket and draped it over the back of her desk chair; she let her corset fall to the floor with a shrug of her shoulders. Shepard ached to run her tongue over those collarbones. Stepping out of her pants Shepard saw she was wearing nothing under them; it was her turn to worry her bottom lip with her teeth. She removed her Omni-tool from her wrist and placed it on the bedside table.

Aria turned and flicked on music; something with swelling strings and a heavy kick, the beat seemed to be in time with the throbbing between Shepard’s legs.

Reclining on the bed shirtless, she watched as Aria sauntered across the room, her dark skin highlighted by the streetlamps outside. Aria bumped out her hips in time with the music as she came closer and Shepard could see the glare of slickness between her legs. Her mouth both salivated and became very dry in the same instant.

Shepard looked down the bed at Aria, who had begun to undo her belt with tantalizingly slow hand movements. She lifted her hips as Aria dragged her belt through the loops, and her mouth dropped open as she began to pull it back and forth between her own legs; it was about the most erotic thing Shepard had ever seen. Dropping the belt, she grabbed Shepard’s jeans and removed them with the same languishing slowness, leaving her white cotton underwear and bra.

She climbed onto the bed with the movements of a cat, dark tendrils beginning to swallow the colour of her eyes, and ran her hands up Jane’s stomach, who trembled and let out a long groan as Aria dragged the flat of her tongue up the inside of her thighs, over the soaked spot on her panties.

“ _Ah_ …”

Aria looked up at her and drew them down over thigh, knee, and feet, and Shepard broke out in goosebumps.

Purple skin flushed, Aria dropped her head between Shepard’s legs and placed kisses and bites along the top of her pubic bone, down her right leg and up the left one. She finally dipped her tongue into the enflamed centre of Shepard, who thrust her hips up with a cry and grabbed the back of Aria’s crest.

“Ohhh, fuck-“

“That’s the idea,” Aria said when she removed her mouth, kissing her way up her stomach. Shepard sat up and unhooked her bra as Aria climbed into her lap, long legs wrapped around her back. As she threw it off the bed Aria grabbed her breasts and leaned into her neck, sucking gently on her earlobe, “touch me, Jane,” she breathed against her head. “Fuck me.”

It was the use of her name that unraveled her. A pale hand shot between Aria’s legs as she took her mouth in a searing kiss, dipping her tongue past her lips, tasting herself on them. Aria crashed into her at the same moment, eyes black, mouth parted, and they rocked back and forth on each other, all sighs and moans, biotics flaring around them. Shepard’s Omni-tool buzzed, forgotten, next to the lamp.

Soon it wasn’t enough and Aria untangled herself from her lap, straddling her hips as Shepard reclined on the pillows. She lowered herself slowly onto Shepard’s outstretched hand, purring loudly in her throat as she took her in. She rocked back and forth, rotating her hips, and Shepard could feel silky heat around her fingers, could see breasts bouncing, could smell their combined arousal in the air. Aria leaned back, bracing her weight on her arms, and as her movements became wilder Shepard’s other hand shot between her own legs, making up for the loss of the asari’s.

Not to be outdone, Aria inclined forward and brought her mouth back to Shepard’s, biting down on her lower lip and pulling it back with her teeth as she pushed her long fingers into her Jane, matching her own rocking movements with each thrust.

“Look at me,” Aria panted.

“Aria, please… _ah_ , yes…”

“Don’t stop, don’t you dare stop--”

Foreheads together, they locked eyes, a fine sheen of sweat covering their bodies. Shepard felt Aria tremor around her fingers - knew she was on the edge - and curled them inside her. Aria bowed backwards, back arching and going still as she swore loudly in Asari; Shepard fell over the edge with her, clenching around her hand, hips coming off the bed with a scream. They collapsed into each other and Aria rested her head on Shepard’s chest while she gasped, trying to catch her breath. She rolled off her and into the crook of her arm, which Shepard wrapped around her shoulder, tracing a finger along her collarbone.

“Where are my pants?” Shepard finally said, looking around. Aria raised her brow but reached down to her right and grabbed them, tossing them over Jane’s face.

She reached into the pocket and pulled out her cigarette pack and lighter, holding it out for Aria. “Smoke?”


	10. Chapter 10

Liara felt her Omni-tool buzz and answered it before the second ring could start.

_Shepard,_ she thought, smiling broadly.

“Liara, hello,” a sharp accent cut the air and Liara screwed up her face, “sorry, were you expecting someone else?”

Miranda Lawson was a dark-haired beauty: perfect body, pert breasts, genius IQ – especially by human standards – quick witted, and outgoing; the complete opposite of Liara. Despite it all, they had struck up an unlikely friendship during their undergraduate studies, during a group session that had seen the two go-getters knocking heads.

“Miranda, sorry, no,” she smiled, “what can I do for you?”

“I’m heading down to Afterlife to take in the Coffee House, boys with guitars, you know, right up my alley,” she smiled sideways at Liara, “want to join?”

“No thank you, I really should catch up on some data compiling tonight,” Liara replied, looking down at the holographic face on her wrist.

“Oh, spoil sport. Okay, talk to you later Liara.”

 

Liara unlocked the residence apartment door and it slid open with some difficulty. She made a mental note to remind Aria to put in a request to get it calibrated, knowing she should just do it herself; Aria wasn’t the most reliable roommate. Or the friendliest, come to think of it.

Liara wasn’t stupid, she was a very good scientist, and with that came the ability to gather subtle facts - clues into a person’s character. She knew very well what her roommate did to pay the bills, but Aria had never brought her ‘work’ home with her, so to speak, nor had any friends visit, save the occasional overnight guest, or that bartender with the strange haircut. She was clean and let Liara decorate as she saw fit, _except that damned couch,_ she thought, and they had formed a bond of sorts; strange bedfellows.

“Looks like she’s not alone tonight,” Liara muttered, dropping her messenger bag on the coffee table with her stack of mail. She picked up a green tank top, definitely not Aria’s style, and folded it absentmindedly, laying it carefully on the couch. It smelled of cedar and some fruity perfume; and faintly of cigarette smoke, combined it was a smell that pricked at the back of Liara’s brain, familiar but vague.

She heard muffled laughter from Aria’s room and frowned, wrapping her arms around herself. It all made her highly uncomfortable.

She decided a night in wasn’t exactly going to be as relaxing as she thought and stalked up the hall, deciding to take Miranda up on her offer after all. As she passed Aria’s room she got a whiff of acrid cigarettes, fresh, not the dull grey smell of old smoke.

Aria had _one_ bad habit, one that infuriated Liara to all ends; she smoked in the apartment. _Enough,_ she thought, _this is my home too, enough of this._

She didn’t knock, she didn’t call out, she just threw open the old-fashioned, hinged door in a huff, slamming it against the wall.

“Aria, how many times have I asked you not to smoke in-“ she stopped, her mouth popping open into a perfect ‘ _O’_.

Aria pulled the crumpled sheets up over the prone body next to her, a moment too late to hide her identity. She let own body remain exposed as she stretched, slowly, her breasts on display as she did.

Liara felt her stomach hit her boots, felt an unbearable sear, jagged through her chest.

“Well hello, Blue, would you like to join us, or is there another reason you came stomping in here uninvited?” She stubbed her cigarette out and leaned up and off Shepard’s chest.

Shepard stared at the figure in the doorway, her face pinching into a mask of pain, heart sinking.

_Are you fucking kidding me?_

“I should go,” Jane said, gulping.

“Shepard,” Liara said through a tongue that seemed too big for her mouth, unable to meet Aria’s eye. She nodded curtly at her, nostrils flared, blue eyes wide.

“Oh, do you know each other?” Aria asked, sweetly, cocking her head to one side.

“Jesus.” Shepard mumbled, trying to pull on her pants under the sheet, her face fallen and pale. Liara slowly lowered her eyes, not out of modesty but because she was afraid she would cry if she had to look at the scene in front of her for any longer. She saw a pair of white cotton panties at her feet and choked back a sob, wringing her hands together.

“Liara,” Shepard said, rising from the bed. Liara looked over to her, and turned a dark purple; Jane quickly crossed her arms across her chest – this was decidedly _not_ the way she had imagined Liara seeing her naked for the first time. “I-“

“Shepard, be with whoever you want to be with,” she muttered, eyes downcast, “just… my own home.” She turned away, wiping tears and clearing her throat. “However, I do not believe our one and only encounter entitles me to any of these reactions, I am sorry, I-“

“Liara-“

On the bed, Aria smirked, mouthing ‘encounter’ silently, rolling her eyes.

“I’m going to go,” Shepard said, gathering her bra and socks, and pushing her way past Liara, pausing as she reached out to touch her arm. She couldn’t bring herself to finish the connection.

She found her shirt folded almost lovingly on the couch and her heart spiderwebbed, shattered outward.

_Oh you fucked this up, Shep,_ she thought, hollow and filled to the brim with tears that wouldn’t come. She practically ran out of the apartment.

 

Back in the bedroom Liara began to pace, eyes on the smug asari in the bed.

“How could you?” She finally asked, glaring at Aria, who had begun to dress.

“How could I what, Blue? Run my hands all over that naked body? Make her scream my name?”

She felt sick. A vid began to play on loop in her head - Aria and Shepard writhing naked on her couch, Aria pulling that hair, Shepard’s strong hands on Aria’s most intimate places.

Liara’s biotics flared, wisps of blue surrounding her like an angry sea, “You knew I liked her,” she shouted, not caring how juvenile it sounded. “My feelings are not here for you to experiment on, why would you do this?”

“I take what I want, Blue, it’s nothing personal,” Aria finished clasping her corset and shoved Liara aside, grabbing her jacket.

“I have a name,” Liara screamed, “it’s Liara T’Soni, and I’d appreciate you using it from now on,” her breath came in ragged gulps and she advanced on Aria, who glared, “No. You’re not worth it. There’s been enough heartache today.”

Liara turned to leave, biotics flickering out, when Aria threw Shepard’s belt at her, giving her barely enough time to catch it. “Here, give this to her when you see her, which I’m sure you will.” She drawled, “At least, I’d recommend you do – the way that woman’s fingers work, how she tastes; you won’t know what hit you, Li-ar-a.”

Liara stopped in her tracks, shoulders slumped, and she began to cry, harsh, angry sobs. “Why are you being so cruel?”

“That is the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard,” Aria replied, following her.

“Why? What could I have possibly done to you?”

“This is not about you, per say, Blue. It’s just the way the world rotates. It burns you when you open yourself up too much,” Aria lit another cigarette and blew the smoke out the open living room window. “There’s not such thing as a free ride, no one stays, if you get too comfortable, if you forget, someone will remind you.”

Liara stared, not caring about the cigarette, not caring about her own heart, but instead felt a dawning realization that this asari, her fierce roommate, had gone dim inside. This hadn’t been malicious, and though she still wanted to flay her alive, she felt something for her.

_Sympathy? No Liara, don’t back down so quickly, she ruined everything._

_And why not back down?_ She asked herself, _I’m not like her, but we’re both broken now. We’re in the same boat._

“Who broke your heart, Aria?” She asked, and Aria snapped her neck back to face her, “who did you really want to hurt with this?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she replied, flicking the butt out the window. “Now, go after your little girlfriend,”

“No, I won’t be doing that, you’ve ruined that for me, Aria. You’ve _reminded me_ of that.”

“If you say so, Blue.”

Liara stalked to her room and Aria called after her, “T’Soni. How things begin isn’t nearly as important as how they end. Remember that.”

 

 

Once outside Shepard leaned her head back against the wall, staring up at the sky, and pinched the bridge of her nose with her fingers - she could still smell Aria on them.

_You fucking idiot. You stupid fucking fuck. Jesus Christ!_

She spun and slammed her fist into the stone with a roar, then collapsed in on herself, crouching into a ball, silent tears falling as her hand, once more, dripped blood.


	11. Chapter 11

Shepard sat down at her piano and began to play; tears fell onto the ivory keys.

 

She had showered, had scrubbed her skin raw ridding it of Aria’s smell, but no amount of hot water could cleanse her conscience. She felt a brick of cold hatred for herself as she wiped the condensation off her mirror, looking herself in the eye. Once she had wrapped her hair in a towel, she opened the tube of medi-gel to apply it to her bloodied knuckles, but had thrown it across the room instead, sitting on the toilet seat, naked and still damp.

 _Let it hurt,_ she thought, _let them be a reminder._

If only she could apply medi-gel to her bruised heart.

But she couldn’t, so she sat on the piano bench, bent over the keys like a knobby old man, and composed.

The rain hit her windows and kaleidoscoped the nightlife of Thessia across her living room. Long fingers poured all the hurt she felt, all the hurt she had caused, into the lilting melody, stopping occasionally to make an adjustment to her quickly filling sheet music.

When she was done she scribbled a note on the top: _Liara’s_. 

She activated her Omni-tool to record the piece, to send it to Liara – not for forgiveness, but just because it felt right – when Jane saw the blinking light of her voicemail.

“…I was just calling to say hello, um, I hadn’t had a chance to thank you for- well, if you wouldn’t mind calling me back my contact is sent over. Okay, bye.”

Her heart sunk anew and she closed her Omni-tool without sending a reply or the song. She didn’t deserve a second chance, and Liara didn’t need any reminders of her.

She slammed the cover down.

 

Winter came silently. Practices were moved inside; papers were written, rewritten and graded; midterms were passed and failed; exams were stressed over; and finally the holidays came, falling upon the campus like a twin to the blanket of snow, quietly and completely.

Shepard was stretched out on her bed wearing a lacey black bra and underwear set, her hair fanned out on the pillow. Aria was sitting up against the headboard, smoking a cigarette and flipping through Shepard’s old comic books. The asari was in similar state of undress, as she often was when in Jane’s company. They had taken to spending their time at Shepard’s apartment, claiming the bigger bed was much nicer, but they both knew the real reason.

Shepard hadn’t properly laid eyes on Liara since the night at her residence, had buried the song between the pages of an old book and tried to forget.

 

_“What did you do?” James had cornered her outside the history class they both attended, “what did you do to her?”_

_Jane had panicked, stood against the wall and shrugged, shaking her head._

_“She won’t even look me in the eye, she showed up at my place with puffy purple eyes, Shepard; what did you do?”_

_“I fucked up, Vega.”_

Aria had shown up at her door three days after they had met, wearing a long coat and nothing under it; she seemed just as surprised as Jane when it had become a regular thing.

_“We’re not in a relationship,” she had said lying in bed a few weeks later._

_“I know,” Shepard had replied, staring at the ceiling._

_“We’re just passing time, and I mean, you’re great in bed, I know I’m great in bed, so…”_

_“Naturally…”_

Shepard suspected Aria didn’t tell Liara where she was disappearing to, but she also had a suspicion Liara knew anyway. The few times she had glimpsed the back of her head in the hallways it had been scurrying in the opposite direction.

The nights she spent alone she found herself thinking about that blue head, not about Aria. Not that she was about to kick the asari out of her bed; they seemed to need each other somehow, both seemed to toe the unspoken line of _this_ _will never be love and we know it_ , _I know you’re a million miles away, but fuck it, let’s screw_.

_You scratch my back; I’ll nurse your heartache._

Shepard also thought her consort was hiding something, what she hadn’t figured out. Often, after Jane had been noodling on her guitar, Aria would grab her hand, rubbing her scarred knuckles with a far-away look in her eyes.

Aria slid into her lap and gave her a long, slow kiss, then got out of bed, “You taking off?” Jane asked, sitting up and calling after her as she went into the hallway.

“No,” the sound of running water. “Are you trying to get rid of me, Shepard?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, T’Loak,” she heard the opening the fridge door and the clatter of various kitchen objects – a plate or bowl, she thought, and the utensil drawer; _yep, that’s the kettle -_ then the soft pad of feet across the living room, where the noises ceased for a while. Aria came back into the room carrying a plate of Thessian fruit that Shepard still didn’t know the name of, but bought every time she went for groceries, an old book, and a mug of the native tea Shepard had stocked her cupboards with since she had started staying the night. She put the tea on the nightstand but the fruit in the middle of the bed, straddling Shepard and popping a segment into her mouth. She licked the juice off her lips.

 _Jesus, everything she does is so fucking naughty,_ Shepard thought, grinning like a lunatic.

Aria climbed off her and sat with her shoulder pressed against Jane’s, opening the book _._

“You’re a complicated creature,” Shepard laughed, “a drug-dealing Dickens fan,” Aria shot her a confused look, “the author.”

They sat in silence, eating orange fruit and watching the snow fall. Aria read _A Christmas Carol_ slowly, translating each page into her native language with her Omni-tool. She looked over at Jane and caught her eye, “a professor told me about this book once,” she said, closing it and scooting down the headboard, adjusting one of Shepard’s pillows to account for her crest. Jane pressed her body close, kissing her before rolling on top.

Aria made a barely audible noise and reached under her back, digging out the book. Jane grabbed it from her and was about to put it on the floor when a loose page fluttered out. Aria took it off the bed and read it with narrowed eyes.

“Play it for me.” She said, shoving Jane off her, gently for Aria. She held one hand out for the book, the other to her they walked to the living room.

Shepard sat at the bench as Aria placed the sheet music on the piano. She looked up at Aria, who stood over her shoulder – she nodded once and Jane began to play.

When the short piece was done she stared down at her hands, not sure what else to do, until she felt Aria’s weight on the stool next to her.

“You love her, don’t you?” Shepard looked at her,

“I don’t know… yes.”

Aria pursed her lips and stared at her for a long time, turning _A Christmas Carol_ over in her hands before sighing, “alright then, let’s go get drunk. Get your bony human ass dressed.” As Jane stood Aria grabbed her arm and pulled her down, kissing her.

It was gentle and soft, and felt like goodbye.

The tea sat, going slowly cold.


	12. Chapter 12

Liara declined her parent’s invite to spend the holidays at their country estate with a polite message. Too much to do, she had said, couldn’t possibly pass up the opportunity to research when the campus was so quiet. In truth, she knew the moment they took one look at her they would just know her light had gone out.

Her father had called exactly three minutes after the message was sent.

“Hey babe, so you’re too good to come visit your parents now, that it?”

Liara heard her mother in the background, “The, is that Liara? Say hello for me, tell her Tianna S’Raj has been asking for her.”

“Your mom says hi, kiddo. That stuck-up princess you used to bum around with has been showing off her cleavage at parties, asking if you’re single.”

“Hi, Dad.”

“What’s up with your face?”  
“Goddess, Father, nothing,” Liara deactivated the video portion of the call.

“Hey! Athame’s tits, Liara. I’m a thousand years old. I’ve known you your whole life; don’t tell me that nothing is wrong.” Liara was silent for a moment, unsure how much to tell Aethyta; the last thing she needed was for her parents to send a cohort of Asari commandos after Shepard. Or Aria, for that matter.

“There is a girl,” she began, biting her lip and sitting down on her bed, “a human. She’s-well, I don’t know, Dad, it’s nothing.”

“Hear that, Nezzy?” Aethyta called out, making Liara flinch, “our baby bird is in love.”

“I absolutely am not,” she mumbled.

“That’s lovely, Little Wing,” Liara heard Benezia answer.

“Mother, I am not in love,” she raised her voice. “Do you have to put me on speaker every time I call?”

“When I’m the one doing the calling I sure as shit do. Maybe that’ll teach you to call more.”

“Ok, Dad, I’m pretty busy, I should-“

“Not so fast, kid, really, you love this girl?”

“It’s complicated,” Liara suddenly felt like a teenager, 40 years old, hiding in her room and staring up at posters, her parents throwing dinner parties where she stammered and tried not to spill soup on her dress; maybe trying too hard to get Jarissa D’rasus to notice her.

“Liara, I’ve had kids with hanar, _that’s_ complicated; what’s this girl done?”

“Nothing, Dad, I’m okay. Tell Mom I love her.” She hung up and stared at the blank wall across the room. She only rose to get ready for bed when darkness had obscured her view.

 

Her anger at Shepard and Aria had faded into a dull ache over the past few months, but instead of winking out it had left her feeling a little hollow. She looked over to her closet, where Shepard’s belt hung on the back of the door. She had carried it around in her bag for a little while, hoping she’d use it as an excuse to make conversation with Jane, but every time she had spotted her on campus she had lost the nerve.

Try as she might, she still couldn’t stop thinking about her, though.

Aria had been scarce, and although Liara appreciated not seeing her face the first little while, she was lonely in the apartment alone. She also had a sneaking suspicion she knew where her roommate was spending her nights. She always knew this hurt was a possibility, she just didn’t realize it would hurt so badly.

Liara had been doing some digging into Aria’s extracurricular activities and had found some interesting things, things she was originally going to use as blackmail. One name kept popping up in connection to Aria: Aria T’Loak’s Academic Advisor – Thea Tevos. Office hours and extra time after class – spent with Thea Tevos. Who was Aria seen with at Apollo’s Café? – Thea Tevos.

 _Professor_ Thea Tevos.

Their interactions outside of the classroom had stopped suspiciously right around the time Aria had slept with Shepard and Liara had read that Aria had dropped out of her class.

Liara had spent an afternoon in the company of one Professor Tevos, asking questions supposedly related to her PhD.

_“I’m not sure what help I am going to be to you, Ms. T’Soni. I am a Galactic Politics Professor, and we know very little about Prothean policies,” Tevos had welcomed her into her office, motioning to a chair in front of her desk. Her eyes were almost the same shade as Shepard’s, but her features were softer: high cheekbones, large, full lips, a Roman nose._

_“I’m sure you will be able to provide me with plenty of answers, Professor.”_

A pretty clear picture was coming together for Liara, but now she wasn’t so sure what to do with that information.

 

Liara, having been rudely awoken, sat in the dark until she heard the front door open. She closed her eyes, trying to muster the courage to face Aria, to perhaps apologize, or let her in on the information she had gathered about Tevos.

She heard a soft knock on her door, which made her jump a little.

 _I am not ready for this,_ she thought, hesitating before crossing the room and opening it a crack; Aria smelled like whiskey and smoke but Liara was relieved Jane wasn’t with her. “Yes?”

“Sorry about all that – outside – but here,” Aria held up a crumbled piece of paper, a piece of sheet music. She handed it to Liara, who took it, read the title and looked back at her, lips parted and brows knitted.

“She wrote this? For me?”

“She’s playing the Coffee House tomorrow night at Afterlife,” Aria said. Liara nodded and looked back down at the sheet of music,

“Thank you.”

Aria turned to leave but hesitated, glancing back over her shoulder, “do you own a copy of _A Christmas Carol_?”

“Uh- no, sorry.”

“Worth a shot,” she stumbled away into her own room.


	13. Chapter 13

Shepard took a drink of whiskey from her glass, held it on her tongue until it tingled, then replied, “Yah, a little guitar and piano.” Aria’s invitation to go get drunk was being taken very seriously by them both.

“No shit, Shep? Hell, I used to play a mean bass, we should form a band; I bet we could teach the Queen here to sing lead.”

“Jack, I’d rather sleep with an elcor,” Aria replied.

“Here,” Jack disappeared behind the bar and brought out a datapad, “We have a Coffee House every month – it’s tomorrow night, but I’m betting you have an old Earth standard or two you could pull outta your ass.”

“Why the hell not,” Shepard replied, entering her info; redoing it when she hit the wrong letters and spelled her own name wrong. Aria smirked, downing her shot and pouring another from the bottle on the bar. She grabbed it around the neck and brought it back to their table, Shepard on her heels.

Shepard was sitting with her back to the door of the café when a tall brunette threw a glass of whiskey in her face. Some splashed on Aria, who was to Shepard’s left, and the asari stood, biotics flashing. Jane put a hand on her arm and looked shook her head.

Jack came out from behind the bar, “Touch her and I’ll smear the walls with you, bitch,” she said, standing between Miranda and the pair.

Shepard spoke, “Just a thought, but it’s a bad idea to piss off your bartender.”

“Don’t worry, I couldn’t possibly think of anything worse to do to her than that haircut,” Miranda shot back.

“You might break a nail, Cheerleader.”

“Let me guess,” Aria stepped around Jack and circled Miranda, “you must be a friend of T’Soni’s? Well, well, Blue does have a social life after all.”

“Aria, leave her alone,” Shepard said, standing and leading Miranda away with a light touch on the shoulder. “Listen, Miranda, was it? I’m glad you got that out of your system, but please don’t antagonize those two, okay?”

“Who do you think-”

“Seriously, don’t. I get it, I’m a jackass, I fucked up – Jesus, how many times do I have to admit that to people? – but, well, if you see Liara, please tell her-“

“I’m not telling her anything from you,” Miranda said, walking away with a flip of her hand, “tell her yourself.”

“Alright,” Shepard called, swaying a little from the booze.

 _Alright,_ she thought, _I will_.

“What the fuck was that about?” Jack asked as Shepard approached the bar for a refill,

“Nothing. Aria. Me. Whatever.”

“You’re cut off, Princess,” she replied, taking Jane’s glass and not returning it. “Go home with your purple play thing and let her smack you around a bit with her leather, or whatever it is you two get off on, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“What’s that, Jack?” Aria had returned from washing off her jacket in the bathroom.

“I told Shepard to take you home and thoroughly use you, she’s had enough.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Shepard replied, heading for the door, “but you’re right, I’m gone.” _I have places to be, ha._

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t fall in a snow bank,” Aria said, slapping her hand on the counter, “Put all this on my tab, or take it outta my earnings, whatever, I don’t care.” She barely wobbled, but she had put more booze away than Jack had seen before.

The asari left with less grace than usual, but she was positively sober compared to the zigzagged footprints Jane had left in the fresh powdering of snow. Aria rolled her eyes when she saw they led towards residence. “Bad idea, Shepard,” she called into the swirling night.

Aria caught up to Shepard outside her and Liara’s building; Jane was standing in a full two feet of snow, neck titled up, calling up at the windows.

“Liara! Liara, Liara, hey!”

A window flung open and a sleepy-eyed Liara poked her head out, wrapping her arms around herself against the cold.

“Shepard?”

“You’ve got the most beautiful eyes, Liara,” Shepard called, grinning. “I want to kiss your freckles.”

“I’m occupied, Shepard. This is not appropriate, people are sleeping.”

“I don’t care. I love you.”

“You just say these things.”

“I love you! I’m sorry I slept with Aria, but she’s nice. She told me to come here.”

“I did not,” Aria had caught up to Jane, and tried to direct her away from the window; other lights were flickering on in adjoining rooms, faces popping up in windows, some smiling, but some not.

“Shepard, you are drunk,” Liara said, catching Aria’s eye, “go home.”

“I am home,” she replied, “I feel at home with you,” she sank into the snow, sitting. “I love you.”

“Okay, Romeo, let’s go,” Aria shrugged up at Liara, who closed her window and shut off her light before Jane could call her out again.

Aria lit them both a smoke.

“Thanks, this is great. Booze is great, Aria. You’re great, you know that? You’re the sexiest thing I’ve ever had near me, Gawd, you really are. My God, the things you do to me.”

“I know.”

“But she’s,” she sighed, “Oh man, she’s just-“

“I know.”

“Do you ever think about booze, Aria? I mean, look, every culture, every goddamned species in this galaxy has booze, how crazy is that? Whew.” She looked thoughtful; “maybe that says something about us all?”

Aria wrapped her arms around her, “No.  No, you’re not supposed to kiss me anymore,” Shepard said, leaning her head on Aria’s shoulder.

“Call it one for the road, Jane. Call it one for the road.”


	14. Chapter 14

Shepard woke up in her own bed, alone.

_Thank god for small miracles,_ she thought, clutching her head.

She gazed over at the spot she was accustomed to seeing Aria’s crest peaking out from under the covers; the asari had always slept curled into herself, her usually hard face melting into something almost peaceful. She had a vivid memory of Aria’s nails raking down her back, of her head buried between Aria’s thighs, the tips of her crest touching her spine as her head titled back in a silent cry. The bed felt empty.

_How much did I drink?_

Then it all came crashing back.

_Oh Jesus. Oh dear baby Jesus._

She thought about calling Aria, but decided water was her first priority – her mouth tasted like a cave, her head felt like a boulder, and there was a tight ball of nerves in her stomach.

_She must think I’m such an idiot,_ she thought about Liara at the window the night before.

She practically fell out of bed, slumping to the bathroom and then kitchen. She saw a note on her fridge:

_Sunshine,_

_I took the liberty of tucking you into bed for the last time, but thought you’d appreciate having it to yourself – can’t start falling back into old habits. I think you’re going to need the room._

_I took the book; maybe you’ll get it back._

_I miss you already, Shep, but this is for the best. Call me when you’re alive._

_\- Aria_

There was a purple lipstick print on the note and some scrawled xx’s. For the life of her Jane didn’t know how she got herself in these messes. _I’m going to miss her,_ she thought, but instantly had a vision of Liara in her window, puffy-faced from sleep, snow falling lightly around her, blue eyes exasperated but not hostile. _That’s a good sign, right? Right?_ Shepard ran a hand through her hair and turned on the tap, foregoing a glass and sticking her head under it to drink.

On an impulse she grabbed her Omni-tool from her room and slouched on her couch, turning on the fireplace with a beep; the simulated wood crackled and gave off a wonderfully Earth-like smell that brought back memories of Christmases past. She opened her contacts and accepted Liara T’Soni’s, dialing.

She would be brave.

Aria could wait.

 

Liara was buried in a pile of datapads and papers when her Omni-tool beeped at her, a message popping up.

 

TO: L. T’SONI

FROM: M. LAWSON

SUBJECT: You’ll thank me

I ran into the bitch last night at Afterlife, whoring around with your roommate, instead of killing them slowly I threw my drink in the bitch’s face. I don’t care if you think she’s sexy and go all soft on me and forgive her, it felt good.

You’re welcome.

P.S. My father is going out of town over the holiday so I’m throwing a house party – you’re coming, no excuses. It’s Saturday night.

 

Liara was about to reply when her wrist rang.

She looked and the number and nearly choked on her tea, sputtering and setting the cup down on her desk. It rang a few times as she stared at ‘Jane Shepard’ flashing up at her; she answered it with a snap.

“Hello,”

“Hi Liara, it’s Shepard,” Liara nearly melted into her chair, memories of the night before, _‘Liara!! I want to kiss your freckles.’_

_‘I love you.’ Surely she didn’t._

“Hello Jane, Aria assured me you got home safely, I’m glad to see she was correct.”

“Um, yes, she-uh-got me into bed and left, I guess- I was-well, you saw how I was. I’m sorry Liara, I didn’t mean to embarrass you, or-uh-harass you?” Liara could almost picture Shepard: long t-shirt over those long legs, curled up on her bed with a cup of hot coffee, hand working nervously over the back of her neck. She thought her heart would explode. She didn’t know if the butterflies or the steel wire battling for space in her stomach would win, but she closed her eyes and sighed.

“It is fine, Shepard, I am sure you are regretting a few things this morning, but waking me should not be one of them. I appreciated it…-“ she trailed off, not sure how to finish.

“Liara, I’ve treated you very badly, I’m sorry,” Shepard’s voice sounded very far away as Liara looked to her doorway and saw a crumpled looking Aria standing there, with a wicked smile and a wink she walked on to the kitchen. Liara thought she saw a little sadness under that smile.

“There is something compelling about you, Shepard,” Liara finally replied, looking back to her desk, pushing paper around with her finger, “but…”

_Did you cry, Shepard?_

_I did._

“But…?” Jane echoed.

“I cannot simply forgive and forget, as you humans say. _I_ am sorry.”

_I’m scared. Not of you hurting me, Jane, you already have. I’m afraid of loving you._

_Except, I already do._

“Liara-“

“I do not think it will be productive for us to continue this conversation, Shepard, thank you for calling, goodbye.” She hung up and let out a shuddering breath; so similar to the one she remembered from the day she met Jane.

“You’re an idiot,” Aria said from the hallway and Liara stood and walked to her roommate. “She loves you, you know that? All the time I’ve spent in her bed and she’s never looked at me the way she looked at you last night.”

Liara felt a stab in her gut, could almost see the two of them together. Remembered when she had.

“I do not believe you of all people have the right to give me advice about Jane Shepard; you are precisely the reason-“

“-at least go and tell her in person. Tell her why you won’t give her a chance to explain herself, to show you.” Aria spun on her heels and stalked to her room, “remember the song, T’Soni.”

Liara opened Miranda’s message and hit reply:

 

TO: M. LAWSON

FROM: L. T’SONI

SUBJECT: RE: You’ll thank me

Okay, Miranda, okay, I’ll be there Saturday.

Shepard didn’t deserve that, and you know it. But thank you, for being a good friend. She’s… well, it is not her fault.

But thank you. Is it wrong that part of me is glad you did?

P.S. I’ll be attending the Afterlife Coffee House tonight, if you would like to join me - I remember you said something about liking boys and guitars?

 

Shepard tucked her legs under herself staring at the fire, waiting for Liara to reply. It seemed like a thousand years, the silence feeling like shattered glass in her ears. Finally, “There is something compelling about you, Shepard,” Jane’s stomach flipped. “But…” she bit her lip,

“But…?”

Her heart sank. “Liara-“ then a cordial goodbye.

_Did you cry, Liara?_

_I did._

Once she was cleaned up and a late breakfast was made Shepard called Aria, who answered with an under-water voice, “Shepard, I was sleeping, what the hell do you want?”

“Well, ‘Sunshine’ I believe I was requested,” she shoveled food into her mouth, talking around it.

“Oh, right, what are you eating?”

“Scrambled eggs,” she heard Aria groan.

“Too bad I didn’t stay…” Aria loved scrambled eggs.

“You’re not as bad as you lead people to believe, Aria.”  
“I’ve been hearing that a lot lately. I may need to stage a grand gesture to rectify that; oh, wait, I did. I fucked you out from under T’Soni’s nose.”

“I did miss you drooling on my pillow,” Shepard replied, not taking offense. “I made a fool of myself last night – actually just now again.”

“Yes, I overheard some of that conversation,” Aria replied. Shepard heard her roll over in bed, “listen, if you two aren’t screwing like- what are those damn Earth things - rabbits? Within two weeks I’ll eat my jacket. And then come and screw your brains out again, okay? For now, be patient. Fuck, goodbye Shepard.”

She heard the beep of Aria disconnecting and laughed, actually laughed, but as she finished her breakfast she replayed her conversation with Liara again, _“I cannot simply forgive and forget, as you humans say.”_

_I wish I could show you how sorry I am, Liara._

It echoed in her head.

She put her dish in the sink and went to get her guitar, she had a drunken obligation to fill tonight and she had no intention of making herself look foolish two nights in a row.

Maybe Miranda would throw a drink on her again; make her feel right at home.

 

Aria rolled over and disconnected with Shepard.

_Shepard._

_Shepard, Shepard. Hmmmm, I may have made a mistake letting that one go._ She thought, a strange hot feeling climbing up her chest. She opened her Omni-tool again and wrote an email:

 

TO: J. SHEPARD

FROM: A. T’LOAK

SUBJECT: [BLANK]

Her name is Thea Tevos, and I love her like I you love Liara. She broke my heart.

I think you were a close second, Shep. I think I could have fallen in love with you. I think maybe I’m halfway there, but I know I would have left you wanting more.

Treat her good.

Don’t let her get away. I’ve let two of you get away.

 

Aria’s finger paused over the send button and instead closed the message.

Her mind drifted to Tevos as she picked up Shepard’s book. She flipped open a page and read: ‘No space of regret can make amends for one life's opportunity misused.’

_How sickeningly appropriate,_ she thought.

Tevos with that regal way of speaking, those hips, those white markings that went all the way down her neck and spread out over her back where they swirled into soft patterns; how Aria loved tracing those patterns with her tongue. 

 

The way she delivered lectures, how Aria hung off every word like a maiden seeing dancers for the first time. She had stormed her way into a galactic politics class, trying to find something to fill her calendar - drugs needed customers and stressed university kids were the best kind; willing to pay exorbitant prices, not caring where they came from or what they were as long as they got them through exams, through first dates, through long boring lectures. Aria hadn't expected to be knocked off her feet by a goddess in a high-necked dress, sporting a laser pointer and a strict attitude towards attendance.

 

_“Ms. T'Loak you have been late for or have missed seven of my classes in a row now. Please follow me to my office, I have been assigned as your academic advisor to curb this behaviour.”_

_Curb this behaviour._

 

They had slept together for the first time a week later and Aria had felt like crying when they melded, feeling things she didn't have names for; had cried out her name over and over: “Thea, Goddess… Thea, _Thea_ _– Ah._ ”

Tevos had cradled her in her arms in her bed and they had sipped wine and laughed and defiled every surface in the professor’s apartment. Aria was still failing her class but was reluctantly falling in love.

_And then I went and fucked it up._


	15. Chapter 15

Shepard arrived at Afterlife far too early. She sat at the bar with Jack but requested coffee.

“Can’t keep up with the big boys, huh Shep?” Jack slapped her on the back hard enough to knock her off her stool. The crowd had started to file in, but Jane barely noticed – she just wanted to get this over with.

She went outside to smoke and tune her guitar, balancing the instrument on her knee as she fiddled. She was surprised she hadn’t seen Aria yet, had thought the asari wouldn’t have passed up the opportunity to have a laugh at her expense.

Miranda Lawson passed her as she entered the café, and shot her a cold look. Shepard smiled in return. If this one was a friend of Liara she was going to have to play nice and win her over – though Jane didn’t blame her for thinking she was scum.

 _This is ridiculous,_ she thought, _I’m like an asari aphrodisiac or catnip or something, can’t keep them off me._

Jack grabbed the microphone and whistled loudly, getting everyone’s attention. “Okay, asshats, welcome to Afterlife. Sit down, shut up, and play – or listen, depending on why you’re here. Buy lots of drinks, from me, those are the rules.”

Shepard sat by the bar as the first performers started; was pleasantly amused by a hanar who got up and played a spoken word on a set of bongos while wearing a small hat; and blown away by an asari with pink markings who was clearly Thessia’s answer to Joan Jet.

She was set to play after a small break and passed it by heading outside with Jack, where they shared a cigarette in the cold, with the hanar of all people _-_

 _Err-things,_ she thought.

Miranda joined them, clearly looking around for someone.

“Princess,” Jack snarled, but Shepard noticed she flexed her arms a little bit too much around this bombshell; Shepard didn’t blame her.

“Ass,” Miranda returned, “I took a bottle of rum from your bar, and I expect my credit chit to be returned.” As she turned and went back into the warmth Jack’s jaw slackened, watching her hips sway.

“You and your bubble butt need to bring back my fucking booze, Cheerleader,” she called, but looked to Shepard with glazed eyes. “I’m going to tap that, Shepard, it’s going to happen.”

“I thought you wanted to ‘tap’ my skyball Captain, Jack?” Shepard reminded her.  
“Well I don’t discriminate, Shep, but, honestly, I think there’s just some penis envy going on there on my behalf… he’s too, I dunno, _thick_ for my tastes, truthfully. I like to play with my food.”

Jane snorted and handed Jack her smoke, heading into Afterlife to play.

 

She sat on the stool on the small stage and strummed her guitar, leaning into the mic and clearing her throat. “Uh, hi, I’m Jane, I’m going to play an old Earth song for you, um, this song got me through my teenage years, even though it was more than a hundred years old then…” She looked out at the crowd and cleared her throat again, “Well, enjoy.” 

Liara came through the door and saw Shepard mounting the stage. She saw Miranda siting by the bar with two glasses and a bottle of liquor but didn't catch her eye, not yet. She leaned on the wall and watched Jane stumble through an introduction. Her chest felt tight, like elastic about to snap, and she made a small noise in her throat as Shepard began to sing. 

_'Cracked this morning worst and weak_

_Tears roll down from inside my cheek_

_Strange timing opportunity knocks_

_Sun comes up, paradox…'_

 

Her voice was enigmatic: husky, but smooth, clear and throaty all at once. It broke slightly and Liara felt her skin chill, break out into goosebumps. Her mouth felt like a desert.

 

_'Take the whole part out this wine_

_Take a rope and tie these_

_Thoughts of mine down_

_Until I'm fine_

_Don't ask me if I'm hungry_

_I'm not sick'_

Weaving through the crowd Liara stood at the front of low the stage, watched Jane meet her gaze and nod once.  _Oh Shepard_ , she thought.

 

_'Something's tearing me apart_

_Brick by brick_

_And I feel guilty as I sigh_

_I'm feeling guilty, why do I?'_

 

The music swelled inside of her and in that moment she fell fully. 

If this was Shepard’s apology she would accept it. She would run with it. She would take this woman into her heart and life and-

 

_'Take your hands out of mine_

_To take a rope and tie these_

_Thoughts of mine down_

_Until I'm fine…'_

 

Liara felt the tightness of unfallen tears at the skin around her eyes and Shepard looked up from her guitar, locking eyes and staring into her for the remainder of the raspy, melancholy song.

 

_'Cracked this morning worse than sad_

_Or have I already told you that_

_Forget my plans to grow a vine_

_You weren't dressed to burn these thoughts of mine_

_Until I'm fine, until I'm fine.'_

 

There was applause and Shepard stood, saying a brief thanks to the crowd, but Liara barely heard it; the world had gone quiet as Shepard stepped down from the stage.

Shepard leaned her guitar against the lip of the platform and approached her, hesitantly. Liara was standing in front of her, hands clasped together. “Please don’t break my heart,” she whispered and Shepard whimpered, opened her mouth to reply.

Liara stepped forward before she could and wrapped hand around the back of Jane’s head, pulling her into a deep kiss, hands in her hair.

Shepard froze as they collided, emotions rising and cresting in a wave, searing hot desire mixed with the overwhelming warmth of love; her whole body vibrated and threatened to explode, her heart beat against her chest.

There were whistles and catcalls from the audience, unheard by the pair.

There was beauty in everything Liara was; she tasted like vanilla and cotton candy and cardamom. Shepard grabbed her around her waist, gently, and pulled her closer, their bodies meeting; they both sighed into each other’s mouths.

The kiss ended and they leaned their foreheads together, slowly opening blue and green eyes. Shepard noticed Liara’s eyes were flecked with dark indigo, _how did I not notice that before?_ She thought.

They kissed again, lightly and softly, as Shepard grasped her hands in her own. She felt like every hour of her life had been leading up to this woman.

“Okay,” Liara breathed, “okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the song works, but if you cannot see it it's Until I'm Fine by K's Choice and I strongly suggest you search it; I happen to think this is exactly what Shepard would sound like if she sang - plus this band is fantastic, and I did indeed listen to them when I was a teenager ;)
> 
> Absolutely did NOT write the lyrics (in italics in the chapter) the copyright for this great tune is as follows: 
> 
> BETTENS, SARAH / BETTENS, GERT  
> Published by  
> Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC


	16. Chapter 16

Liara took Shepard’s hand and squeezed, leading her back to Miranda’s table; on the way they saw Aria at the bar, who nodded in their direction, raising her glass and making a smooching sound.

“Shepard,” Miranda said, giving Liara a flash of her eyes, “Nice song.”

Liara squeezed her hand again and sat, silently inviting her to do the same.

“Be nice, Miri,” the asari warned, smiling that demure smile that made Jane’s whole body fuzzy.

“I will if she will,” Miranda muttered, pouring Jane a drink. Jack came bustling over with a tray full of glasses, “Well shit, that was about the sappiest thing I’ve seen in here. Shots on me.” She winked at Miranda, who went red, but crossed her legs pointedly. Jack raised a shot glass to Shepard and downed it, staring right in Miranda’s eyes, “come on Cheerleader, don’t leave me hanging. Or are you a lightweight?”

Miranda huffed but picked up a glass, “You have no idea what I’m capable of.” She shot it back, slamming the glass on the tray with raised eyebrows.

“No, but I’d love to see,” Jack replied. Shepard drank her shot, looking back and forth between the pair; Liara waved her hand in a ‘no’ when Shepard motioned to the shot left. She downed that one too.

As Jack went back to the bar with the tray Liara cleared her throat – Miranda’s eyes had followed the bartender the whole way.

“As I was saying,” Miranda continued, nonplussed, “you hurt her again and I’ll have something to say.” Jane nodded and stood, hand on Liara’s shoulder.

“Are you going to throw another drink in my face? I’m going to have a smoke.” As she left Liara gave her friend a pleading look,

“Miranda-“

“Ah, go on.”

Liara stood and followed Jane out into the snow.

 

Shepard knew the cold air should have nipped at her, but she didn’t even feel it. She was still on cloud nine, flushed and giddy, and full of the buzzing warmth of Liara and alcohol. She lit her cigarette and leaned on the wall, flat of her boot against the stone, staring at the door to the café, imagining Liara in there. The object of her affections appeared in the doorway and looked around for her, catching her eye and stepping lightly around the bigger banks of snow as she came towards Jane.

“Hi,” Shepard said, fanning the smoke away from Liara,

“Hello. Don’t mind Miranda, she’ll come around.”

Shepard stared at her feet and Liara shuffled nervously,

“Liara-“

“Jane-“ they spoke over each other, then both laughed.

“You first,” Shepard said, flicking her cigarette to the ground where it hissed in the snow,

“No, I insist.”

“Are you sure, Liara? I mean, this, us? Aria and I-“

“Are over, she assures me. You were never mine to claim, Shepard.” Liara clutched onto herself, shivering slightly; Jane stepped forward and put her arms around her, wrapping her in warmth. Liara’s looked at her with mild panic.

“Yes I was.” Those blue eyes tilted up at her, heavy lidded and sparkling; “I don’t deserve it, but, if we do this-“

“Jane? Shut up.” Liara kissed her again, with the snow falling around them, and ran blue hands up her bare arms, making her shake. For that moment all that existed was the two of them, together.

“Goddess, Shepard,” Liara broke the kiss, gasping for air, “I should have done this the night you walked me to my apartment.” Shepard laughed, brushing her cheek with the back of her hand, “maybe if I had had the courage Aria wouldn’t have dared to-“

“Wait- Aria knew about me? I mean before that night?” Shepard asked, pulling back and staring at her, “She knew you and I had met?”

“Yes, I assumed you knew.”

“Oh Jesus, I can’t believe it. I was blaming myself this whole time and it was that little-ugh-fucker.”

“Shepard, it is quite alright, like I said, I had no reason-“

“Liara, I need to deal with this, okay? I promise I’ll be back.” She put her arms on her shoulders, “In fact, I think I owe you a proper date. Dinner tomorrow night?” Liara looked at her, confused, but nodded her head,

“Yes, okay, but-“

“I’ll pick you up at 7,” Jane called back to her, heading back into Afterlife. She walked through the throng of people and up to the bar, tapping Aria on her leather-clad shoulder. The asari turned and grinned, “Shepard, well, well-“

Shepard punched her in the jaw, knocking her to the ground.

Aria went ass over teakettle, and sat, stunned on the floor, eyes narrowed, biotics flaring out. “My, my, Shepard, aren’t you full of surprises?” She drawled, rubbing her jaw.

Jack looked to Aria, who held her hand up in an order to stay put.

Jane held her hand out and Aria took it, pulling herself to her feet. “I should turn you into a fine red mist, but I like you too much. What the fuck was that about?”

“You. Me. Liara,”

“Always about Blue, isn’t it?” Shepard grabbed a bottle of booze and shoved it at Aria,

“Yes. It is. Why, Aria? You knew from the moment you seduced me, didn’t you?”

“Lets just say I wanted you all to myself,” Aria sat and took a swig from the bottle.

“Aria… you wanted to fuck with her,”

“Okay, you got me, at first it was about Blue. I didn’t want her to have what I didn’t. But believe me Shepard, the rest… that wasn’t supposed to happen, but it did. I couldn’t help it, I enjoyed having you as a partner, what can I say?”

Jane reached across the table and grabbed Aria’s jaw in her hand, turning it to take a good look, “You’ll be fine, maybe a little swollen.”

“Nothing I haven’t had before, in fact, it’s almost as bad as that time in the elevator,” she said, checking her reflection in the bottle and waggling her brows at Shepard, who blushed and looked around to ensure Liara wasn’t in hearing range. “You want the truth, Shepard? Her name is Thea Tevos,” Jane’s head snapped back to her,

“Professor Tevos?”

“Opposites attract, right? Our connection was powerful but doomed. Now you know.”

 _We could have had something special, T’Loak,_ she thought, _fuck, we did._

“I’m sorry, Aria.” She shrugged, taking another drink. Shepard put her hand on top of Aria’s, making the asari look her in the eye. “I’m not sorry about us, though.” She got up and walked back to Liara and Miranda, as Aria called,

“For what it’s worth Shep, I’m not either. Oh, if you lay a finger on me again I’ll kill you.”

_If she doesn’t cherish you, I’ll kill her._


	17. Chapter 17

Jane changed four times.

Five, if she counted the two almost identical tank tops she went back and forth between.

_Jesus, Shepard,_ she thought, _she saw you with mud on your face and still wanted you._

_Doesn’t mean I can’t clean up._

She finally settled on a slimming pair of khaki coloured pants tucked into her brown combat boots with a light blazer over her top. She had seen how Liara looked at her powerful arms and legs and had no hesitations with showing off the goods.

She flexed her arms in the mirror before pulling on her jacket, running her hands through her damp hair. She was lucky it always did the same thing whether she took time to style it or not, and she had a funny feeling that Liara wouldn’t care as long as she showed up with hair at all.

She had showered, shaved all appropriate places and dressed with an hour to spare, spending it wandering around her apartment, checking and rechecking the time. At one point she sat at her piano to play Liara’s song to herself but couldn’t find the music, played it from memory and sighed.

At a quarter to 7 she left, practically skipping through the ice and snow, bouquet of flowers in hand – wilting in the cold – and sneaking in a quick smoke around the corner from Liara’s building before pushing the buzzer on the front door.

A voice greeted her, “Professionally polite: Yes human, can I help you?”

“Uh, I’m here to visit Liara T’Soni,” she had never come here without Aria simply buzzing them in.

“Inquiring: Is the asari expecting you?”

“Yes, uh, I’m a little early…”

“Shepard!” She turned to face the door and saw Liara in the glass; Shepard felt so light she was in danger of floating away. “Harrot, it’s okay, let her in.”

Jane shook the snow off her hair and handed Liara the flowers, “for you.” Liara leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek.

“They’re lovely, Shepard, thank you.”

“You look beautiful,” she replied, rubbing her neck, reminding herself to _not_ rub her neck. Liara was dressed in a long and flowing dress; a shade of purple that Jane thought was wonderful. It was modest but clung to her every curve and Shepard wished she could peel it off her. There was a slit up the side of her thigh and the blue showing through sent her heart and mind reeling.

_Slow down._

The curious face smiled up at her and she smiled back,

“You as well. Let me just put these in water and we can leave,” Liara and Shepard rode the elevator in silence, taking sneaking glances at each other out of the corners of their eyes, until it dinged Liara’s floor.

“Please, make yourself at home,” Liara said, a slightly teasing tone. Jane took a deep breath through her nose and tried to laugh, avoiding looking at the infamous couch.

Aria came out of her room and went to the kitchen, passing Liara who was filling a vase. “Ooo, flowers. You never got me flowers, Shepard,” she waggled her finger at her.

“You never took me on a date,” Shepard shot back, smiling despite herself. Liara flushed purple and started to arrange the flowers with a little too much concentration.

“Oh, we’re making Blue uncomfortable. Don’t mind me,” she patted Liara’s backside with her hand and went back into her room, “have fun you crazy kids. Have her home before dawn, Shepard.” Liara jumped and turned to Shepard, mouth agape.

“Ah, it’s just Aria,” Jane shrugged.

“I-uh-I-,”

“Liara, don’t worry,” she crossed the kitchen and held her hands, “I have every intention of being a perfect gentleman; you will be home long before dawn.”

_What if I don’t want to be?_ Liara thought, going so dark she matched her dress.

 

“Where are we dining, Shepard?” Liara asked as the skycar Jane had ordered pulled up to a curb.

“It’s a surprise,” Shepard ran around the car and opened Liara’s door, holding out her hand. As the asari stepped out she got a view of blue legs tapering into delicate ankles wrapped in strappy shoes; she felt a bolt of desire curl in her core, shooting between her legs. She shifted uncomfortably and placed a hand on Liara’s lower back, guiding her into the restaurant.

 

“Oh, Shepard, I am overdressed,” Liara said, staring around the diner.

_Yes you are, Liara, yes you are,_ she thought, biting her tongue to avoid saying it aloud. _Lech._

“Liara, you look stunning and every person in here wishes they were with you,” is what she actually said, holding out a metal chair with a glittery red seat. Posters of old Earth movies stared down at them from walls, a soda-shop counter was wrapped around one wall, lined with stools the same garish red, and a flashing jukebox stood in the corner, blaring Elvis Presley. Shepard sat, handing Liara a menu from the metal condiment holder on the table, and second-guessing her brilliant plan.

“I’m sorry, I thought this would be a change of pace. I figured you were used to being wined and dined at fancy places…” she trailed off, rubbing her neck, _again_.

“It’s wonderful, Jane,” Liara took her hand across the table, “it’s charming.”

“Have you ever had pancakes?” Shepard grinned.

 

“These are delicious,” Liara sipped her chocolate milkshake, offering it to Jane. Shepard shook her head but handed Liara her strawberry,

“You think that one’s good – try this,”

“Mmmm.”

Shepard ate a French fry with ketchup on it, trying not to stare too much at her date. Liara had ordered pancakes with whipped cream and syrup, eggs and bacon, and Jane was thoroughly enjoying watching her discover human flavours. “May I have one of those sticks of potato?” She asked, timidly, and Jane laughed,

“Fries, Liara, they’re called French fries,”

“Well, may I try a fries?”

“Of course.”

 

Liara pushed her plate aside, letting out a long breath. They were sipping coffee Shepard could see through, making faces at how terrible it tasted,

“Well, after I told my professor about the, uh, incident, he reprimanded me with an extra week of cataloging; rather counter intuitive, I think, but I am rather pleased. I had, uh, assumed they would have revoked my research supervisor.”

“They wouldn’t do that, you’re brilliant, they need you,”

“Flatterer,” Liara blushed,

“I try.”

Jane was fascinated with Liara’s fascination with the Protheans, had listened to her get giddier and giddier, nodding at appropriate places, asking questions she was sure were rudimentary for her companion.

“But the Protheans were such a intriguing culture. Evidence supports the idea that they were quite diplomatic, uplifting other species including my own.”

“So, what happened to them?”

Liara shrugged slowly, then leaned forward, like she was the keeper of the universe’s greatest secret; a grave secret.

“This is my real area of expertise. My theory-my research- indicates, that is-well- a race of sentient machines may have been responsible for their downfall.” Liara took another sip of her coffee and pulled face, “That is a terrible drink – the problem is finding evidence to support it; the Protheans left remarkably little behind.”

Shepard stared at her, waiting for the laugh - the clueless jock falling for the genius scientist’s joke.

“Oh, dear, it does sound ridiculous when I say it aloud, doesn’t it?” Liara’s face fell and she stared down at her coffee, the bubble popping.

“No! No,” Shepard hastily said, wanting that smile to come back; that animated way Liara came alive when speaking on, well, anything. “I thought you were pulling my leg.”

“Pulling my leg? Sorry I don’t think my translator is working correctly, Shepard.”

“Old human expression, never mind. You’re serious? A race of sentient machines, like the Geth, or AI?” Shepard paid the bill with her credit chit, and stood, holding her hand out to Liara, who took it as they walked out into the night.

“Well, not exactly,” she replied, snuggling closer to Shepard to keep the cold off her. Jane removed her blazer and placed it over her shoulders. “It’s hard to articulate, but eventually subtle patterns start to emerge. It is difficult to explain to someone else, I cannot point to one specific thing that proves my case. It is more a feeling, derived from half a century of dedicated research.” Liara’s eyes widened, suddenly, “I’m sorry, you’ve been listening to what must be very boring ramblings all night.”

Shepard stopped walking and Liara faced her as they stood under a streetlamp, “You’re exceptional, Liara,” she said, gently cupping a blue jaw in her hands, lips meeting in a gentle kiss. Jane felt hot breath on her cheek as they parted, felt Liara’s breasts against her own, nipples stiffening in the cold. She was suddenly very overwhelmed by every sensation. The soft jaw that she wanted to run her tongue across, along the curve of her neck until… Did those dark freckles extend down, down, down…? Those lips, bluer than her skin; what colour would she find at the juncture between her legs?

“I’m having a wonderful evening, Shepard,” Liara sighed, still pressed close.

“Me too.” They kissed again and she tasted the syrup on Liara’s breath – hoped she didn’t taste too much like steak. “I guess I should get you home, you do have a curfew after all,” Liara swatted at her and laughed.

“I believe it is my turn to walk you home,” Liara replied, “There is a party at Miranda’s tomorrow night, if you would like to accompany me?” Liara asked, holding her hand again.

“I would love to.” They walked in silence, hand in hand, until they came to Shepard’s building.

“This is me,” she said as Liara tried to hand her back her jacket, Shepard shook her head, “you need it, you’re going to freeze. Do you want me to call you a cab?”

“Shepard, I could come up.” Liara bit her lip and Shepard felt like dying.

“Sure, I can make you a real cup of coffee,” her voice cracked a little as she unlocked the door.

 

Jane went about the business of making coffee while Liara wandered around her living room, brushing a hand across the keys of the piano. “You play,” she said, not a question, and Jane answered from the kitchen. Shepard added plenty of cream and sugar to Liara’s mug and brought two steaming cups around the corner. Shepard stopped in her tracks and leaned against the wall, taking in the sight in front of her: Liara was standing with her back to both Jane and the room, looking out the floor-to-ceiling glass windows, and it was the loveliest thing she had ever seen. Her pale skin flushed, she set their drinks on the coffee table and turned on the fireplace before she went to Liara, wrapping her hands around her waist from behind.

“Is this okay?” She asked in her ear. Liara leaned back into her in response. They stood for a minute like that, before Jane broke the silence. “The coffee is getting cold.”

Liara turned in her arms and held out a piece of paper, her sheet music.

_Aria_ , she thought. _That’s where it went._

“Please, play it for me?” Shepard couldn’t read her expression, but nodded and took it to the piano, handing Liara her coffee first. She played with her heart.

When it was done she stood and Liara looked at her from her place next to the grate, “Jane.” There were tears in her eyes, the firelight reflecting off them beautifully. “No one has ever-“

Shepard went to her, held her. “Hey, it’s alright,” she wiped tears off blue skin flushed purple.

In her chest, her heart fluttered with fear. She took Liara’s mug and set it on the mantle.

“I’m so afraid, Shepard. How can-how can I give you- when I’m afraid…? I can...”

“Darling, don’t be afraid.”

“I’m afraid to fall, Shepard. It’s not that easy.”

“I’ll catch you.”

And she does.

Strong hands grasped Liara’s waist, thumbs feeling deliciously soft curves and the hint of hipbones through the dress. She felt Liara tense, and then relax, in her grip. The asari let out a soft sigh as Jane backed her into the stone of the fireplace, hands trailing up and down Shepard’s arms. Shepard flexed under her fingers as their hips met and Liara gripped her arms, surging forward and taking her lips, a tongue dancing against Shepard’s. As she pushed Liara against the wall Shepard ended the kiss, dragging her lips along the grooves that ran along her neck. Adrenaline pumping through her body, Liara let out an ardent, soprano cry from her throat and it went straight between Jane’s legs, making her knees weak. As Shepard kissed along the column of her neck Liara tilted her head back, resting it on the stone, shaking in her arms.

“Liara…” she moaned against blue flesh, the dress frustratingly tight; she relinquished her grip with one hand and ran it down the swell of her hip, to that tantalizing slit. Shepard kissed across Liara’s collarbones and up the other side of her throat, giving extra attention to the ridges along the asari’s sensitive ear when Liara bucked into her at first contact, a series of barely audible moans escaping her parted lips. Liara wrapped her arms around Shepard’s back as one of her hands gently raised the part in her dress, exposing her leg and lifting it, hooking it around her waist. Body to body, Shepard could feel Liara’s heart hammering through her breasts, could taste the saltiness of the spent tears on her neck.

“Goddess, yes…”

“ _Liara_ , I…”

Liara shuddered in her arms, “ _please_ …” Something in that broke her. She brought her lips to Liara’s again, softly, trying to ignore the way her leg ran up and down her back.

“Do you want me to stop?” Liara bit her lip and nodded, once; her eyes were smoky, blackness beginning to swallow them. Shepard gently released her leg and kissed her softly, backing up and breathing hard.

Liara turned her back to her, shoulders heaving. “Shepard, I am sorry, it is just, I’m- I’ve never…” Dawning realization hit her. _Oh. Oh you idiot._

“I’m sorry Liara,” Shepard put a gentle hand on her shoulder and Liara leaned into it, “I had no idea, it’s okay. Actually, this is for the best.” Liara spun on her and Shepard was surprised when there were no tears, just shining blue eyes. Jane smiled, “I just mean there’s no rush – it’s our first date after all.” She kissed the tip her nose, “You didn’t drink your coffee.” Liara laughed, placing her palm against Shepard’s chest, before resting her head there.

“Thank you.”


	18. Chapter 18

Liara woke to a message from Shepard.

 

_Good morning, beautiful. I had a wonderful time last night. Looking forward to the party tonight – should I pick you up again?_

_-Shep_

 

She yawned and smiled, throwing an arm over her face as she remembered their frantic touches at the fireplace, a burn beginning in her stomach and sliding down her legs. She ran a hand down her stomach and against the elastic band of her underwear. _Goddess,_ _Liara, Aria is probably home,_ she thought, making a frustrated noise and deciding to reply to Jane.

 

_Good morning Shepard, I was just thinking of you…_

She blushed.

_Actually I will be helping Miranda with the party preparations, so I will meet you there, if that is acceptable. I have forwarded her address. I cannot wait to see you again, and thank you for last night; I had a wonderful time as well._

_-Liara_

 

She found her hand wandering again, remembering Jane’s mouth on her neck, how Shepard’s strong thigh had so deliciously pressed against her… _azure_ , _Goddess, Liara, you can’t even think the word -_ with her leg wrapped around her. She found herself getting wet through the thin underwear she had slept in.

Liara had always thought her fellow maiden’s preoccupation with sexual contact to be childish; asari lives were long enough not to rush. She wasn’t opposed to exploring her own body, but she had been so busy with her research that she hadn’t sought out anyone to fulfill those desires… besides, she had barely been able to touch herself, let alone someone else.

She didn’t live under a rock – _although_ , she thought, _you really did on all those dig sites in graduate school_ – and she was a very good researcher, so she knew what to expect. What she didn’t expect was the difference between her hands and someone else’s on her body. How slick she had felt, how inflamed. Vaenia was one thing – Shepard’s tongue on her skin was another. _I wonder how it would feel to have that tongue between my legs,_ she thought, hand drifting below her navel, dipping into the surprising wetness there.

Liara had done the typical curious extranet searches as a youth, knew the difference between males and females of a species, and definitely knew human women were so very close to asari that it had caused a decidedly physical reason in her young body. Just as it was now. She could almost feel Jane’s long fingers on her, pressing into her, seeking out something Liara had never experienced. She arched into her own hand, knees drawing up, fingers working furiously, but it just wasn’t the same; she remembered Shepard breathing her name into her ear and almost cried out.

Her door flung open, Aria carrying two cups of tea. “Blue I brought you- oh fuck, seriously?”

Aria turned around quickly, with a disgusted laugh. “I like it when you’re feisty, Blue, kind of turns me on – want company?”

Liara squeaked and pulled the blankets over her head, willing the Goddess to come down and end her misery; _or strike Aria down, either would be fine_ , _really._

“Aria-I-oh my-I’m-oh by the Goddess, this is embarrassing…”

“Are you decent, you fiend?”

“Yes…”

Aria perched on the end of the bed, handing Liara a cup but pointedly avoiding touching her hand, “So, Shepard wasn’t good enough? Wow, you must be hard to please, she always pushed all the right buttons for me.” She winked and Liara glowered. “Aria, what Jane and I do or do not do is none of your business,”

“So, didn’t fuck her yet then.”

“Do you have to be so crude?” Liara flung the blankets off and padded to her drawers, where she found a pair of pajama pants, slipping them on over her soaked underwear. She caught Aria staring and tried to cover herself from prying eyes,

Aria raised her brow, wiggling her tongue.

Liara sat back down on the bed, sipping her tea to test its temperature, “I appreciate the tea, but you can leave anytime, I have to get ready to help Miranda with her party.”

Aria seemed to be looking into her soul, let out a single snort, “Ya, ya, I’m going.” She ran her hand over Liara’s thigh, wickedly, “Don’t worry, Blue, it doesn’t hurt,” then got off the bed with a bounce, lips twisting into a sharp smile.

Liara curled up into herself, shying away from Aria’s hand. “How-? I mean-“

“Ah, come on, Liara, a blind elcor would know, ‘oh-dear-uh-um-oh I can’t be out until dawn-oh-my-‘ come on.”

Liara clutched her mug between two hands, and stared off into the distance as Aria left, laughing and making obscene noises.

 

TO: J. NOUGHT

FROM: A. T’LOAK

SUBJECT: It’s party time

You want to get into Cheerleader’s pants? She’s having a party tonight; Little Miss Muffet let it slip. I won’t be joining you; I have other business to attend to, so make a mess for me.

 

Aria got a reply back on her Omni-tool.

_Fuck ya._

 

She climbed back into bed and sat against the headboard, sipping tea and opening Shepard’s book. By the time she looked up again her mug was drained and the morning light had shifted to a warmer afternoon tone; it reflected sharply off the metal and snow but gave her room a rosy glow.

She wasn’t surprised she had finished the book so quickly; it was the only thing she could focus on now that she wasn’t screwing Shepard, she hadn’t even checked in with Jack or ventured off campus to peddle Helix at the mall. _Just been sitting here reading this damn book_.

It was Saturday; was there any chance of Thea being on campus? She ran one hand over the cover of the book and got out of bed on impulse, changing into her clothes and grabbing the book as she headed out the door. The apartment was quiet but whether or not Liara had left Aria didn’t know, didn’t care. She had her eye on only one prize, her mind focused. _Enough of this sniveling shit,_ she thought, foregoing the elevator and taking the stairs, leaping down whole flights and past the elcor at the front desk.

Aria walked with her head held high as she headed to the Poli Sci building. Her insides burned with nerves, with anger, with longing to see Tevos again; true to her word she hadn’t returned to the office, or her class, since the day she met Shepard.

Foolish to stop attending a class she now had to make up, but she wasn’t anything if not stubborn.

The sound of her own heels echoed in the hallway, hauntingly familiar, and she paused outside Tevos’ door, shaking her arms out and cracking her neck. She held her hand out to the pressure pad and it blinked green then red. Thea was here, but had evidently revoked Aria’s access. She clenched her teeth, jaw flexing, and stood up straighter, staring at the pressure pad.

She put one hand on her hip and waited for the door to open, which it did; Tevos stood with a pen in her hand. Aria saw the flash of panic and surprise on her face but she doubted anyone else would have, Thea was all professionalism – spine stretched, hands at her sides, a mask a calm smoothing those white lines.

Aria tried to step into the office but Tevos stood firm.

“Aria, I’m quite busy,” she spoke low and Aria saw her flick her eyes to the right. Peering around Tevos Aria saw a young man sitting in the chair before her desk, tapping his feet and clutching his book bag.

“Aren’t you always? If I didn’t know _where your tastes ran_ , I’d be jealous,” she flashed her wicked smile, forcing it just a tad.

“I have to focus on my students,” Thea replied, “and seeing as you are no longer one of them, I don’t believe we have anything further to discuss.” Aria knew she wasn’t going to get her to crack, not in front of her student, but a few months ago she would have at least tried. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

 _Yes,_ Aria thought, _I can think of a few things actually… most of them involve that desk._

She flung the book in Tevos’ direction,

“Here.” She stalked away, head still held high. _Fucking ruined Shepard’s book for nothing,_ she thought.

 

Thea looked down at the cover and didn’t need her translator to read it, _she remembered._

Later, after the meeting had finished, grading was done, and she had packed away her things, the winter dark already engulfing her office, she turned her attention to the Dickens novel.

Inside the front cover she read:

_Thea,_

_“The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again_.”

_My methods haven’t always been popular, and I can’t promise that will change, but you are my primary purpose._

-       _Aria_

 

She clutched the book and imagined she could smell Aria’s leather on the pages.

 

“So you just stopped?” Miranda handed Liara a tray of crackers which the asari put on the counter next to various dips, rolled meats, tiny canapés and the like. “Pass me the salad?”

“Well, yes.” Liara admitted, weaving around her friend and beginning to remove drinks from the fridge, lining them up at the bar in Miranda’s living room. “I just froze,” she began to grab glasses and napkins from under it, placing them strategically around the bottles and bowl of punch.

“So, she saves you-“

“It is not like I was in mortal danger, Miranda-“

“-She saves you, writes you a song, apologizes to you by confessing her undying love at your window in the snow _and_ serenading you, you _know_ she’s amazing in bed-“

“Because she was melding with my roommate-“ Liara retorted, exasperated.

“-Let me reaffirm: _amazing_ in bed, out of the mouth of someone who probably really does know how to judge – and you didn’t let her ravish you on the rug in front of her fireplace, in her bloody huge apartment, which she lives in alone?”

“Well, when you put it that way…” Liara sighed. “I’m afraid. I just don’t know what I am afraid of.”

“Liara,” Miranda’s gaze was penetrating, “I hated her, remember… but, she’s growing on me. I wouldn’t tell you to do this if I didn’t think you wanted it.”

Liara smiled, but it was weak.

“You need liquor, Li, lots of it,” she poured a concoction behind the bar and handed it to Liara, who sipped it; it was sweet and tangy and went down smooth.

“She doesn’t happen to have a brother, does she?”

Liara laughed and finished her drink, handing Miranda her glass, nodding when she held up the bottle, offering another. Liara drank that one too.

 

Jane rang the doorbell a few times before trying the knob. No pressure plates for the Lawsons, but lots of mahogany-like Thessian wood, carved into spirals and sweeping columns. The heavy bass hit her like a physical force as she entered the house, scanning for Liara. A beefy krogan with a patchy head plate put a hand on her chest, grunting “Name?”

“Uh, Shepard – Jane.” He shook his head, “You can’t come in,”

“I can’t?” She tried to peer over his head, on her tiptoes, looking for that wonderful shade of blue, for Miranda, for anyone she recognized in the least.

“No, you can’t, go away.”

She retreated outside and lit a smoke, wondering if maybe she could sneak around the back. She opened her Omni-tool and called Liara, letting it ring until that melodious voice chimed up at her, by way of voice mail. “Damn.” She was typing out a message when the door flung open and Miranda peered out,

“Shepard?” She looked back inside and Jane could hear her yelling at the krogan, “How many times have I told you, Grunt, there is no guest list. You won’t let Shepard in but somehow that psychotic tart is behind my bar?” She waved Shepard to the door and shook her head in exasperation, “Sorry about him, he’s harmless really.”

Shepard flicked her butt a respectable distance away, cringing at the thought of defiling the clearly pristine landscaping.

“Thanks, Miranda,” she breathed a sigh of relief, coming through the door and banging her boots off on the mat. Her host patted her on the shoulder and disappeared into the crowd before she could inquire about Liara. Shepard wove through the hallway, passing a group of quarian men, “…I hope she took a shower, because my filter needs replacing and they carry a lot of germs…” “I’ve never been to a human party before…”

 She passed into the kitchen and picked up a tiny quiche, popping it into her mouth and leaning against the island. A quarian woman in a purple suit was perched on the counter opposite, slurring to a grey-skinned turian, who patted her leg and replied in his flanged voice, “that suit need any calibrating, babe?”

Shepard headed into the living room, where an impromptu dance floor had sprung up. She leaned on the dividing wall and wished she had a drink, wished Miranda hadn’t disappeared, wished she could find Liara. A human woman with rich brown skin kept catching her eye from the dance floor and Shepard actually looked over her shoulder at one point, _there must be someone behind me,_ she thought. When the song ended and faded into another a crisp British accent pulled her attention back, “Hello, I’m Sam Traynor,” she handed Jane a glass of dark booze.

“Uh, hi, thanks. Shepard.” They stood in awkward silence for a minute. “Do you know Miranda?” Shepard asked, taking a glug of her drink and trying to open up conversation,

“Oh, yes, we had some classes together back in my second year. Can you believe Miss Perfect had to redo one of her first year classes?” Shepard nodded, non-committedly, not knowing much about Miranda at all. “Would you like to dance, Shepard?”

“Uh, no-“

“No, she would not,” came a silky voice as blue arms enfolded her deliciously from behind. “Hello Shepard, you look lovely tonight.” Liara ran her hands up under the hem of her shirt, fingers lightly tracing her muscular abdomen. “I like your outfit.”

Jane gave a lopsided grin to Sam and set her drink on the wall before spinning around and kissing Liara, who kept her hands around her waist; she tasted like booze. Lots of booze.

Liara grabbed Shepard’s hand and led her to the dance floor despite Jane’s furious efforts to tug away, “No, no, no, I don’t dance,” she hissed at Liara.

“You do with me.”

The asari stumbled onto the floor but began to move like honey once there, dragging her hands down her sides and sinking closer and closer to the floor.

_Holy shit. She’s gonna kill me…_

As she rose she dragged her hands over her chest and extended them to Shepard, who stood, shuffling from one foot to the other, pointing her fingers and not sure what else to do with her hands. Liara closed the gap between them, and ran fingers up Jane’s neck and through her hair, purring softly. “You intrigue me, Shepard...” Shepard gulped and placed her hands on Liara’s waist, lightly, swaying with her, as they brought their lips together. It started off soft, but Shepard could feel Liara’s tongue pressing against her lips, asking for permission; could feel the pent-up energy behind the kiss, which was dripping with carnal promises.

Jane grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the living room and into a secluded hallway, “Hell, Liara, where did you learn to dance like that?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Liara tapped the tip of her nose with her finger and kissed her. “I am asari, Shepard,” she winked and they fell into each other, pressing up against a wall where they kissed and pulled at clothing until they were both panting. Liara stepped back and placed her hand on the wall, stumbling slightly and letting out a ‘whew’.

“Liara, what’s gotten into you?” _Where did my bookworm go?_ She grinned a goofy, love drunk grin.

“Alcohol, I believe,” the asari replied, darting down the hall, “Let’s get another drink.” Shepard held her hand out where Liara had dropped it and shook her head, laughing. She caught up with her at the bar, where Liara was slapping Miranda on the arm, talking a little too loudly.

“Did you do this to her?” Shepard hissed in her ear, eyebrows raised.

“I may have. It’s good for her, Shepard. It may prove to be good for you too,” she whispered back and Jane rolled her eyes with a smile, grabbing a beer from the ice bucket on the bar. In less than five minutes Liara was in the midst of downing shots of liquor with a human in a baseball cap who was cracking jokes about her crest.

“Come on, I think we should go out onto the veranda,” Jane gently took her, body and bones, and led her away and out. “The fresh air will do you good.”

 “Miranda’s veranda,” Liara giggled. “Can I try one of your cigarettes?” She asked, taking it out of Jane’s hand after she lit up.

“It’s a terrible habit I’ve been meaning to give up…” Liara took a deep drag of smoke and immediately sputtered and coughed, turning a vibrant purple.

“That’s gross.”

“I know,” Shepard took her smoke and rubbed Liara’s back until she stopped coughing. Liara leaned into her and they stared out into the snow.

“Is that Miranda?” Shepard asked, catching sight of two figures on the deck below, dashing into the night. Loud voices soon bounced off the concrete:

“Why the hell are you here?”

“I couldn’t pass up a chance to see where the spoiled-rich brat lays her head,” Jack was being backed into a corner by a very angry Miranda; her biotics swirled around her skin, shimmering off the snow. She whispered, “I didn’t know Miranda was a biotic.” Shepard was suddenly very happy she had only gotten a face full of whiskey.

“You’re like a child. I have absolutely no patience for your shit, Jack.”

“And yet, you seem to know my name.”

“Only because I read it on the remedial class list when I was looking for idiots to tutor.”

“You fucking bitch,”

“Psychopath,”

“Cheerleader whore shrew.”

They crashed into each other with a force that made Shepard wince, all teeth and tearing lips; she heard the rip of fabric being torn.

“Those are just fucking perfect,” she heard Jack say, laughing.

“That was my favourite bra, you’re paying for that you rail-thin bag of bones,”

“You love it, Princess.”

Liara stood, slack-jawed and staring and Shepard laughed. “Oh, come on, Liara, you must have seen that coming…” The asari blinked at her and hiccupped. “Let’s go get warm.”

Jane got herself another beer and Liara a hot rum mix and they retired to a dark corner, watching the party going on around them. Liara curled up on Shepard’s lap, legs draped over the arm of the couch, hands running through red tresses.

“You like my hair, huh?”

“You have no idea,” she breathed into her ear; hot breath made Jane’s hair stand on end, her body tingling.

“How much have you had to drink, Li?”

“Hmmm, Li. I like that coming from those lips,” Shepard gave her a piercing look and Liara ran her hands along her arms, “If you wanted to steal me away I wouldn’t say no…”

_If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em._

Shepard downed her drink in one swoop, lifted Liara onto her feet and took their empty drinks to the bar, where the asari joined her, guiding her up a flight of stairs, one hand in Jane’s back pocket.

It was less crowded on the second floor, but they passed couples with heads pressed together in corners, friends on couches laughing, and one poor unfortunate soul who was sitting in a running shower, muttering “it was broken when I got here… I’ve got five credits.”

They headed down through a hallway and Liara grabbed Jane’s hand, pulling her into what was obviously a guest bedroom. She pushed Jane onto the bed and straddled her, pulling her own shirt over her head and stripping it off, throwing it into a corner. Shepard reclined on the headboard and grabbed Liara’s waist, reaching up and running her hand along her cheek. Liara had a skin tone lighter than most asari she had seen and Jane wanted to know how it tasted covered in a mist of sweat, how it felt under her fingertips, quivering.

“I never properly thanked you for saving me, Shepard,” her voice had lowered half an octave and Shepard felt the hot curl of yearning hit her sex. She reached up and cupped Liara’s breasts in her hands, not minding the cotton bra in the way; wanting to see them bounce as she rode on top of her… her heart felt like a caged bird trying to get free.

“I am the luckiest girl in the Universe,” Jane said, pulling Liara down into a kiss. The asari’s hands went to her shoulders, thumbs running circles along her collarbones, and Jane began to kiss her neck, running her tongue along the grooves that Liara had so desperately responded to the night before. Her hands wandered along hips, thighs, over breasts.

“Ah… ”

“Is that okay?”

“ _Very_ okay.” _That gravely voice again._

“Liara, you’re drunk, I don’t want to take advantage- Oh, _ah, ahhh_.”

“I… oh, yes, _by the Goddess, yes…_ ”

“God, Liara…”

“ _Oh_. Oh, wait. Stop, please.” Shepard’s heart sank.

“Liara?”

“I am going to be sick,” Liara dove for the bathroom and Jane was treated to wet retching sounds that killed her desire in a heartbeat. She couldn’t help but smile a knowing smile.

She jumped up from the bed and crouched down next to Liara, who had one blue arm curled around the ensuite toilet bowl, groaning into it before vomiting again. “You’ll be okay, darling, get it all out.” She rubbed her back gently and coached her through the worst of it before grabbing a plastic cup and filling it with water, making her drink it down.

“Don’t leave me,” Liara whimpered, eyes closed, head against the cold surface of the bathtub.

“I won’t, honey. I promise.”

 

One very touch-and-go skycar ride later Jane had Liara tucked into her bed, deciding she better keep an eye on her overnight; Liara definitely didn’t need Aria around for what Shepard suspected was going to be a hangover to end all hangovers. _Do asari get hung-over?_ She thought, pouring herself a glass of rum – she had barely had time to drink at Miranda’s. She climbed into bed next to the snoring asari, who was wearing Jane’s shorts and t-shirt; one had hung off her, and the other had clung to her ample, uh… _assets_ ;Jane’s mouth went dry, but she ignored it. Liara needed sleep, _and probably greasy food_. As she opened a silly datapad game and flicked off her bedside lamp Shepard smiled at Liara, who made a muffled sleeping sound and rolled over, drool all over the pillow. A bubble of warmth rose in her chest.

_I love you, Liara T’Soni, drool and all._


	19. Chapter 19

Shepard tapped Liara lightly on the shoulder, causing her to mumble into the pillow, “Uh, just a few more minutes,”

“Liara, _Liara_ , I have food.”

Liara opened one blurry eye and looked up at Shepard, flinching a little, “Oh, my head hurts, Shepard.”

“I know.”

“Wait, am I in your bed? Did we?-oh Goddess. How much did I drink?”

“Relax, Li,” Liara smiled into the pillow, “ _we_ didn’t do anything, except strip off our top and puke into Miranda’s toilet.”

“Ugh.” She sat up and stretched, timidly; Shepard tried not to stare at the way her chest pushed against that shirt while she did.

Jane had a tray of full of breakfast goodies: two plates of bacon, eggs, toast, and fried potatoes – she had remembered Liara’s fondness for ‘fries’ – mixed Thessian fruits, one small pancake for her hung-over asari, and a glass of water. In her other hand she held a cup of strong tea, which she placed on the bedside table on what had been, until recently, Aria’s side of the bed; she had already come to think of it as Liara’s.

When Liara had settled into a sitting position Jane placed the tray on her lap, “Eat.”

After removing her apron she shuffled into the bed, picking at her own plate.

“This is delicious, Jane,” she finally said, sipping the tea and taking another bite of bacon. “Did we really see Jack and Miranda make out last night, or did I dream that?”

“Nope, that happened.” They sat in silence, eating. “What else do you remember from last night?” Shepard finally asked, her plate picked clean.

“Well…” Liara put her plate on the tray and blushed, holding her mug in front of her face. “I do believe I made a fool of myself and tried to initiate sexual contact,” Jane snorted, putting a hand gently on Liara’s leg.

“You were adorable, drunk, but adorable.” Liara smiled, but shook her head.

“I am sorry, Shepard. I am not used to drinking, in case you hadn’t figured that out.”

“I had an idea.” Liara lay down with her head on Shepard’s lap and laced her fingers through hers.

“Thank you for being so, what did you call it? Gentlemanly? I am sorry, I thought it would be easier if I had lowered inhibitions.” Shepard lowered her head and kissed Liara’s forehead, then her lips, taking her time and enjoying the lazy quality of the morning.

“Liara, I have no idea how I got so lucky as to attract you, but I want you to be absolutely sure before we do anything, okay?” Liara nodded, blue eyes wide and gleaming.

“What if I am ready now?” _Those eyes_ , Jane thought, _drive me wild._ They had gone lidded and heavy with desire as she ran a hand up Jane’s arm. Shepard kissed her again, and Liara hiccupped into her mouth, making her laugh.

“You’re not, but I appreciate the offer,” Shepard gently rearranged their bodies so she was laying next to Liara, bodies close, arms drawn around her. They dozed, comfortably, until Liara broke the silence.

“Jane?”

“Hmmm?”

“You and Aria…” she trailed off and Shepard opened her eyes, watched Liara run a hand over the sheets. “Were you?”

“In love? No.” Jane went a little red, watching where Liara’s hand roamed, knowing what she had done to Aria here – what Aria had done to her right here. “I think maybe in a different life, but we just collided.” Liara sighed, still staring at the bed.

“And… here?”

“Yes… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought you here. I wasn’t thinking.” Liara looked back at her, her expression impossible to read.

“No, do not apologize. It happened, it is in the past, and she is a part of our lives, we cannot change that.”

“You’re so sensible,” Shepard reached down and ran a hand up her bare leg, feeling the softness and scales there. She wanted to see how that felt under her tongue. Liara bowed under her touch, an unexpected spike of arousal hitting her.

_Those strong hands will be my undoing._

“Jane?”

“Hmmm?”

“Can I keep your shirt?”

“Absolutely.”

 

Later, when Shepard had lent Liara the use of her shower - fighting the urge to join her; trying to erase the mental picture of Liara’s naked body, wet and steaming, right on the other side of that wall – they sat in the living room, where Jane played the piano and sang for her again.

No tears this time.

When she finished the last song Liara clapped and clasped her hands over her chest, eyes bright. “Shepard, that last song was beautiful, it made me feel so bittersweet, did you write it?”

“God, no. It’s called _Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas_. This time of year brings out the nostalgia in me,” she smiled and winked, joining her on the couch after looking out at the falling snow. “I’m glad Thessia has snow.”

“Oh, yes, Christmas is coming up. Do you celebrate?” Jane bit the nail on her pointer finger and shrugged,

“Not much since my parents died,” Liara’s brow raised and she opened her mouth, but nothing came out. “Oh, it’s okay. I don’t remember them much, just fuzzy Christmases, sometimes a memory of going to the beach. I grew up without them.” Liara took her hand and nodded, not pressing. Her Omni-tool rang, suddenly, and the spell of peace was broken.

“Shepard,” she answered, not knowing the number.

“Jane Shepard? This is Professor Tevos, your Galactic Policies professor,”

Shepard narrowed her eyes and looked over at Liara, who wore an identical expression of shock and confusion. “I believe you know Aria T’Loak. Ms. T’Loak has left me in possession of a book I believe belongs to you-“ Shepard winked a Liara, understanding immediately.

Across town Thea Tevos blushed dark blue and shook her head, _this was a bad idea._

“Professor, I gave that to Aria, if she left it with you, you may keep it.”

“Ms. Shepard, I do not think it is appropriate to accept gifts from students and I have no idea why Aria-Ms. T’Loak would give me-“

Liara mouthed at Shepard, ‘you know?’ Jane nodded but mouthed back, ‘she doesn’t know we know.’

“Professor, Aria told me she was doing some extra credit for some classes she missed, I suggested a literary study of Dickens, and her roommate informs me you are her academic advisor, so…” she trailed off, hoping Thea would take the bait and fill in the gaps.

“Ah, yes,” unseen by Shepard or Liara Tevos pinched the bridge of her nose, _what was I expecting the outcome of this to be?_ “That must be it, she must need help with a thesis. Makes perfect sense. I am glad, thank you Ms. Shepard.” They disconnected and Jane looked over at Liara, both of their mouths open in silent laughter, shaking their heads.

“I can’t believe that just happened,” Jane spoke first,

“That was quick thinking, Shepard,” Liara rose and refilled her tea from the pot on the table, “what would we have said? ‘Yes, Professor, we know all about your tryst’?”

“I’ll tell you one thing, Liara, this Professor Thea Tevos must have it just as bad for Aria as Aria does for her, to call a fellow student digging for information.”

Liara nodded, “Yes, I believe she does.” She wandered to the window and drank her steaming tea; Shepard still thought her silhouette was the loveliest thing she had ever seen. “Shepard, would you like to come to my parents for the holidays?” Liara turned abruptly, walking back to the couch and sitting with her knees angled, pressed into Jane’s, “if Christmas is lonely for you, we would have some festivities with my family – I mean, if that is not too forward?” Shepard grinned, taking Liara’s cup and putting it down, kissing her.

“I would love to.”

“They have already invited me, and I was too–uh-sad to go, but now I am not uh-sad-so we could go together, or if you’d rather not I understand, it is a lot to put on someone who is just recently-“

“Liara? Shut up.” Shepard kissed her, pushing her down onto her back, sinking on top of her, giggling like teenagers.

They spent a long time like that.

 

 

Aria lay in her room in the dark, curtains drawn and lights off. Liara hadn’t made it home last night, and she had gotten an Omni-tool message of a seriously naked Miranda Lawson from Jack, so apparently the party had been a rip-roaring success. She hadn’t heard a single word from Tevos.

She felt like crying. She felt like tearing a hole in her door with her biotics.

She picked up the half-drained bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy and took a swig before throwing it across the room, where it smashed on her wall, glass splintering.

_Pathetic._

Taking a bag of powder from under her bed she tapped some out on her datapad, snorting it off the reflective surface. This was who she was, not some love-struck fool.

 _Your soft heart almost cost me everything, Thea,_ she thought; she hadn’t had a hit of anything since before Shepard. _Well, fuck it._

As the booze and drugs entered her system Aria dragged her hands along her sides, remembering Tevos’ breathy sighs of her name, the high-pitched noises she made as she got closer and closer to release, nails down her back, head between her thighs, pounding into her, grasping, curling, wetness, clawing passion and sweat and-

Aria came with a ragged shout of pleasure and anger, tears spilling down her cheeks for the first time in more than a hundred years.

_Fuck it, T’Loak? Then why do you feel like you’re dying everyday without her?_

 

 

Miranda woke up with Jack’s head on her chest, buzzed hair feeling surprisingly fantastic against her bare breasts. Still sleeping Jack looked almost peaceful, even with her makeup smudged and a small dribble of blood on her lip. Miranda felt herself get wet remembering that coppery taste in her mouth, the feeling of Jack’s teeth latched onto her neck, how her fingers had stretched her, so full, so much more dexterous than any cock she’d had, pounding until she had cried out in the quiet night. Later, tasting her in her own bed, running a tongue over piercings and ink and bare flesh and returning the favour – or so she thought of it then. Of bruises on hips and a broken mirror in the bathroom, and uncountable orgasms, her long hair hanging in her face as she rode Jack, as Jack took her from behind, as she held Jack’s hands behind her head with biotics; of the dawning realization that Jack was a biotic as well, when fingers vibrated between her legs.

_Uh oh… damn, this is just fucking perfect…_

She quietly tapped out a message to Liara, quickly snapping a censored photo of her current situation. She sent it and sighed.

_Beauty and the fucking psychotic Beast._


	20. Chapter 20

Shepard wiped her hand on her jeans as they stood at the door, waiting for the transport to land, she switched and held the overhead rail with the other and repeated the process. “Is it too late to go home?”

Liara eyed her briefly and smirked, putting a light hand on her back. “They’re going to love you,” she said as the door lifted and the dingy transport air was replaced with bright winter blue.

“I hope so, you didn’t tell them about me and Aria, and-“

“No, Jane. Have you faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have. I wanted to keep it that way.” Shepard went white and Liara bent to pick up her bag, laughing silently.

Shepard took her own bag and Liara’s without much fuss and stepped into the light, staying a respectable distance behind her girlfriend.

Shepard looked at Liara and felt a rush of pleasure; _I still can’t believe she’s with me_ , even after a week straight of late nights, early mornings, dinners, old vids and more making out and heavy petting than Shepard could count.

Liara hailed a skycar and they loaded their stuff into the hatch, Shepard checking and rechecking herself in the mirrors; _hair? – Neat, nails? – Clean, teeth? – White. Good._

“Calm down,” Liara whispered, patting her leg. “Now, there are a few things.” Shepard swallowed, hard, but nodded, absently rubbing Liara’s hand with her thumb. “You will probably be put in a guest suite. My father doesn’t really care what we do, would probably be quite proud if- well, never mind – but my mother is, uh, a little over protective.” Shepard nodded, remembering their second dinner out:

 

_“She expected me to follow in her footsteps, wanted me to become a leader of my people… maybe that’s why I become so interested in the secrets of the past. It sounds so foolish when I say it out loud, it sounds like I became an archeologist simply to spite my mother.”_

_“All children rebel against their parents, Liara, it’s a natural part of growing up,” Shepard replied,_

_Liara laughed, “you share the wisdom of the Matriarchs, Shepard, that is exactly what Benezia said when I told her of my decision. Then assumed I would come home, covered in dirt and attend cotillions and political dinners.”_

 

“My father used to chastise her for it,” Liara put on a gruff voice, “ ’you're treating her like a baby bird, Nezzy, but she's going to raise one hell of a storm with those little wings.’ ”

Jane looked up at Liara suddenly, “Wait, is your father like a krogan, or…” images of a Yahg or some terribly tall turian with clan war paint. Liara giggled,

“No, Shepard, my father is an asari. Although I think her father was a krogan, now that you mention it.”

It was Shepard’s turn to laugh, “wait, wait, so my dorky librarian is a quarter krogan?”

“That is not how it works… as I was saying, you will be in a separate room.” She nodded, smiling, hand nervously running up and down her thigh. “Oh, here we are,” Shepard audibly gulped and blew out a shaking breath.

Liara dropped her bag and rang the doorbell while Jane craned her neck to take everything in. The house, if you could call it that, was at least three times the size of Miranda’s, with snow-covered topiaries, a long winding driveway which Shepard suspected looked lovely at night, lit by the lampposts set a regular intervals, and so much lawn it would have taken an Earth year to mow it. “This is like something out of _Pride and Prejudice_ ,” she whispered,

“Hmmm?”

“Never mind,” the door flew open and a rather handsome asari – squat faced, but a strong jaw - with enchanting violet skin threw her arms up,

“Kid, what are you doing ringing the damn bell?” She wrapped Liara in a tight hug as Shepard stood straight and tall, trying to recall her very limited military training. “Ah, and this must be the _girlfriend_ ,”

“Yes, Dad, this is Shepard,” Liara put a hand on her back and shoved her forward, and Shepard stuck out a sweaty hand. “Shepard, this is Matriarch Aethyta, my father.”

“Nice to meet ya, kid,” they shook hands and Liara’s father wiped her on her dress with a look of mild disgust. “Athame’s tits, kid, you’re nervous are yah?”

“A pleasure to meet you Sir-Ma’am-uh-Matriarch,” _great…_

“Shepard, huh? Call her that in bed too, doll?” Aethyta winked, Jane went scarlet next to a purple and sputtering Liara.

"Uh, Jane Shepard..."

“Alright, come in, come in, your mother is about to have kittens, about you getting here safe and all, so head into the kitchen and say hi, would ya?” The grabbed their bags and entered the foyer. Shepard had the urge to take off her shoes and not touch anything.

Liara took her bag and dropped them both at the foot of the sweeping staircase, and headed ahead through two swinging double doors. Jane went to follow but felt a hand on her arm, leading her into an alcove off the front room, “We have a few things to get straight,” the whiskey voice hissed in her ear. She went pale, but followed, fearing the alternative; hoping Liara would miss her when she was gone, but would go on with her life, find love again.

“I don’t like my daughter hobnobbing with people who have shady connections, Shepard,” Aethyta said, pushing her into a room on the other side of a hidden door. She took a snifter off a hutch and poured a generous portion of a strong-smelling liquor from a decanter, handing the glass to Jane, who looked around amazed.

 _A fucking hidden den? This woman is my hero…_ Thoughts of Aethyta, already her father-in-law, sipping Scotch and smoking – _she must smoke, at least two packs a day with that voice_ – the sound of small asari feet running along the marble hallways, giggling and looking for Dad and Grandpa; both their wives searching, searching, never finding them.

“Connections like Aria T’Loak,” she finished, breaking Shepard’s spell.

“I-uh-Matriarch, you have to understand,”

“Spit it out, kid, Goddess-“

“I was only with Aria-what I mean is-It was before Liara, and-“

“And you’re not with her now, I know.” The Matriarch sipped her own drink and lounged in a plush chair, inviting Jane to sit in the one across from her, “If you were, you wouldn’t get within a light year of Liara.”

Shepard put her glass down and leaned forward, elbows on knees, face drawn into a sharp expression, “Is that a threat…?” _Enough of this, I am so sick of apologizing for being fucking human…_

“I'm no commando but I've had a thousand years to learn to fight dirty. Nobody messes with my girl.” Aethyta said, taking another drink and surveying Shepard over her glass, not a trace of intimidation in her body.

Jane stood, slamming back her drink and looking Aethyta directly in the eye, “With all due respect, Matriarch, just as long as we’re clear. Nobody messes with _my_ girl.”

Aethyta looked at her for a long time before finishing her drink, slapping her knee and letting out a loud bark of laughter,

“Well, doll, I think we’re going to get along just fine,” she led Jane to the door hidden in the bookcase and held her arm out, “after you. Nezzy probably has her panties in a knot about where we got off to; you know, kid, maybe you’re good enough for her, after all.”

Liara’s father led Jane into the kitchen, “Shepard, there you are!” Liara cried, crossing the tiled floor and leading her to an island in the middle, “where were you?” Aethyta smiled as she came up next to her daughter, stomping on Shepard’s foot in passing,

“Oh just helping your father with, the, uh, bags,” she smiled and ran her hand over her neck, gaining a raised brow from Liara.

“Jane, this is my mother, Matriarch Benezia.”

The tallest asari Shepard had ever seen turned from the sink and surveyed her with cold eyes; _Liara’s eyes,_ she thought, _and Liara’s-uh…_ she raised her eyes from the low-cut dress a little too late. _How is this Nymph-like baroness Liara’s mother?_

But then Benezia’s face melted into a warm smile, all the aloofness fading away. _Ah, there it is, my bashful geek;_ it wasn’t hard to see where Liara got her looks. Sharp features, cheekbones you could cut glass on, and light skin completed the package.

“Jane, Liara has told us so much about you, please, make yourself at home. Would you like a cookie?” Jane smiled and took a small green Christmas tree-shaped shortbread off the outstretched plate and gave Liara a sidelong look. “We took the liberty of preparing a few human Christmas treats for you.” With her girlfriend blushing next to her, Shepard could almost hear the teenaged Liara ‘ _Motherrrr.’_

“Thank you, Matriarch, I appreciate it very much. Liara has told me lots about you and her father, as well.” Aethyta joined her bondmate at the sink and placed a sweet kiss on her cheek, having to reach a little to do so.

“Please, call me Benezia.” She continued prepping coffee and tea, drilling Jane with pleasant questions about her history as she did, her yellow dress flowing around her like silk.

“And where did you grow up, Jane?”

“Earth, ma’am,” she replied, through a mouthful of cookie, instantly regretting it. “Uh, sorry.” She swallowed and saw Liara giggle, “Near Seattle-Vancouver in the UNAS.”

“I was sorry to hear about your parents, you poor dear,” Benezia set a hot cup of strong coffee in front of her and Jane instantly liked her more. “See, Liara, one’s family is important,” Liara withered a little in her mother’s gaze.

“Yes, Mother.”

Jane cleared her throat and rubbed the back of her neck, “well, maybe we should go unpack, Liara?” Liara jumped up and nodded, placing a kiss on her mother’s cheek and leaving the kitchen. Shepard couldn’t believe how young Liara seemed around her parents.

Jane rinsed her cup and made to help with the dishes, but Aethyta shooed her away,

“Go, kid, guests don’t help with housework. When you two get married I’ll expect more,” she winked as Jane nodded uncomfortably.

“Leave her alone, The,” Benezia chided, taking Shepard’s hand in her own. “Welcome to our home, Jane, and don’t mind Aethyta. Ever.” She smiled that ice-melting smile again and Shepard nodded, “We’ll see you at dinner. Liara should be able to show you to your room, it’s on the third floor, the second on the left.”

Jane smiled and headed up the stairs.

“She seems lovely,” Benezia said, holding Aethyta’s hand before turning back to the dishes.

“Let me get those, Nezzy,” she sidled her way to the sink and Benezia leaned on the island.

“No comment?”

“Ah, she’s great. We had a little chat, to clear things up,”

“The…” Aethyta gave her wife a look over her shoulder,

“It’s fine, Benezia. I think we’re going to be stuck with that human for a long time, so I wanted to set her straight on our Little Wing. And yes, she’s lovely.” Benezia joined her at the sink and began to dry the cups and plates. “You should have put them both in Liara’s room, she’s almost 107, Nezzy.” Benezia pursed her lips and Aethyta shrugged.

Benezia wrapped her arms around herself, so much like her daughter; dish cloth hanging limply. “So, perhaps when they’re bonded we’ll reevaluate that,” Aethyta snorted and flicked soapy water at her.

“Do you remember the things you were doing at 107? I know I do.”

“That is precisely why I put them in separate rooms; Liara is your daughter too, after all.”

 

Liara was already upstairs with the bags when Jane found her. She was stalking around a room, that must have been her childhood bedroom, features hard. “I can’t believe it,” Shepard went to the bed and sat on the end, taking in asari commando posters, a shelf that was in danger of sending books and datapads shooting in all directions, and an honest-to-god rock collection displayed in a glass case.

“Bit of nerd, were you?” Jane smiled, but Liara stood with her neck stuck out, hand on hip.

“They put you in the guest bedroom on this floor,”

Shepard gave her a searching look, hold her hands palms up, “and…? That’s bad, why? They seem perfectly lovely, Liara. Your father didn’t kill me, which is score one for Shepard in my books.”

“It’s next to their bedroom, Jane.”

“Oh.” All thoughts of midnight rendezvous vanished. She grabbed Liara’s hand on her next pass and brought her to the bed, where they propped each other up, shoulder to shoulder. “Well, if they’re anything like human families they’ll drink too much on Christmas Eve and sleep through anything,” she bumped her shoulder against Liara, who barely smiled. “That’s only two days away.”

“It is the principal, the point of it,” Liara gritted her teeth; Jane had never seen her like this. “I am an adult.”

“Liara, you knew I’d be in a different room,” she kissed her temple.

“Yes, but usually guests get the whole East-wing on the second floor-“

Shepard mouthed, ‘East-wing’. “How rich are you, Liara?”

“Hmm? Oh, never mind, Jane. That’s not the point- and they stuck you next to them, like I am a 40-year-old teenager who can’t control herself.” She glowed with a shimmer of biotics, and Jane took her hand.

“This is about more than the bedroom, isn’t it?”

“What-? No,” she sighed, “It may be. It may be about my mother…”

“Honey, we all have issues with our mothers – hell, I do and she’s been gone for near 15 years.”

“Astute, Jane.”

“Just don’t head-butt, her, alright krogan-spawn? I like her.”

“I do not head-butt people. Wait, you said something about my father?”

Shepard smiled, “don’t worry about it, guy talk,” she winked and flexed her bicep.

“That’s not how it works, either, Shepard.”


	21. Chapter 21

After dinner, Shepard unpacked alone. Trying to hide the wrapped gifts she had shoved into her bag from Liara at home had been hard enough; here it would have proven to be impossible. She had picked out presents for Liara’s parents without much consultation from her, trying to remember all the things she had mentioned about them. When there was a small pile of festively wrapped packages in her borrowed closet she went about preparing for bed. Liara was presumably doing the same. This nightly routine felt lonely without her, even though it had only been a short time of brushing teeth and flossing, washing faces and changing into barely-there clothing, side-by-side.

They had dined on Thessian fish and a variety of vegetables. Benezia was a terrific cook and Shepard made sure to tell her that, over and over, until Aethyta had given her a look and intervened.

 

 _“Okay, kid, we get it, but I think you’ve confused which T’Soni’s pants you're trying to get into.” Jane had choked on her wine, it spilling out her nose and onto the tablecloth._ _Liara had gone the same colour as her father and groaned into her napkin._

 

 _Well, I’m all about first impressions,_ she thought hours later. The two of them had taken a stroll around the house, deciding to save the grounds for the next day. It took nearly an hour.

 

_“Seriously, honey, you’re loaded, aren’t you?”_

_“We are a very old family, Jane.”_

_“But all these rooms; how do you even afford furniture for them all?”_ _Liara sighed._

 

In her pajamas Jane made the trek down the hall to Liara’s room, where the asari was sitting at a desk, reading by lamplight. Shepard leaned against the doorframe for a full minute, just watching Liara’s concentrated face with a blooming heat in her chest. She entered the room and kissed one of her crest tendrils, seeing the shiver it sent up her spine.

“Shepard,” she closed the book and turned in her chair, “hello.” Liara leaned her head against her, nestled into her stomach and breasts.

“Hey.” Blue hands reached around and held onto her, dragging her close; Jane cradled Liara’s head in her arms, this not-quite-hug wonderful and warm.

“You smell good, Jane,”

There was the clearing of a throat at the door; Aethyta was looking just as intimidating to Shepard in her silky robe as she would have in leathers.

“Break it up, lovebirds, before your mother sees you and has a fit. For someone with such killer legs and rack she’s surprisingly-“

“You don’t have to finish that, Dad,” Liara said, lifting her head as Jane stepped back, looking like she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“Here’s the deal,” Aethyta sat on her daughter’s bed, where Liara joined her, snuggling into warm blankets. “Nezzy is usually asleep by midnight, no later, so if you’re going to defile my daughter,” she looked into Shepard’s green eyes, “do it after that, okay?” _I’m almost used to this, now,_ Shepard thought, barely reacting. Liara had pulled the covers over her head, groaning. “I do not need an inquiry as to why Ms. Jane Shepard went missing while at the T’Soni estate.” She stood and gave Liara a kiss on her scalp, which was the only part of her showing, and left with a, “get to bed, kids.”

Liara just shook her head, peeking out from under the covers. Jane went to her and slipped under them, “we have a few minutes, right? You’re mother isn’t going to actually make an appearance and kill me?”

“You’re fine, Shepard. I am an adult.” She snuggled into the crook of her neck and made a noise like a purring cat, “I love sharing a bed with you.” Shepard’s heart bloomed. She drew her arm tighter around Liara and kissed her temple again,

“I love you.” Liara looked up at her, eyes soft, “I have loved you from the moment I saw you.”

“Trapped in that Prothean bubble,” she laughed, kissing Shepard’s chin.

“Before that, when you were on the pitch,” Liara drew her head back, nose scrunched up in disbelief,

“You just say these things…"

“Liara, really. Time stopped, for that brief moment – well, the whole word seemed to go away, I guess, cause, I know, scientist, I know, time can’t actually stop-“

Liara’s mouth was on hers in an instant, hands fiercely gripping Shepard’s jaw.

“Shepard…” Lips dancing and bodies pressed together, the rolled over, into each other, tangling sheets and desperate to find skin and warmth, every breath each other.

Then Liara grumbled and removed Jane’s hand from under her shirt, “my mother is coming, get up.”

“How do you-?”

“I heard the stairs,” Liara’s eyes pleaded Shepard to trust her and she shot out of bed, replacing crooked clothing and smoothing hair, barely making it to the end of the bed before the door creaked open.

“Liara? Well hello Jane,” Benezia smiled, clearly pleased at the chaste distance between the pair. “I wanted to make sure you had everything. Found the towels and extra pillows?”

“Yes, Mother, we did, thank you,” Liara smiled, Shepard nodded as well, pulling down her pajama pant leg discretely with her opposite foot.

“We were just discussing Christmas plans, Matriarch,” Shepard added, “Li was telling me you wanted to have a human Christmas morning?”

“Oh, yes, I think it will be fun,” Benezia clasped her hands in front of her and Shepard had to remind herself this woman was indeed Liara’s mother, and not her girlfriend in some time loop.

“Well, I’m in, just let me know how I can be of help.” Shepard stood and kissed Liara goodnight before excusing herself. “Goodnight, love,” she whispered next to her lips, the promise of a night alone not one she was looking forward to. When Jane was gone Benezia lingered in the doorway, smiling at her daughter,

“I am glad you’re home, Liara,”

“As am I, it’s been…”

“A long time, I know.” Benezia still had her hands clasped at her chest, but Liara saw she was wringing them slightly; all the unsaid things seemed to linger just out of their reach. “And I’m glad you have found someone so lovely. Liara, I’ve always…”

Liara got out of bed and walked to her, pausing before enfolding Benezia in a tight hug.

“Thank you, Mother.” She felt Benezia nod against her shoulder, squeezing her tighter in response. She drew back and held her daughter at arm’s length; surveying the woman she was, so similar to herself.

“Liara… may I tuck you in? I know you’re not a little girl-“ tears glistened in identical sets of blue eyes.

“Of course, Mother.”  

 

Benezia closed her bedroom door softly, seeing her bondmate was already under the covers, reading a magazine on Electronics and Popular Science. “Liara seems happy, The, but perhaps we should have put Jane in the guesthouse…”

“Leave them alone, Nezzy, it’s time for you to let her to grow up. Our little girl needs some loosening up; I think Shepard will help with that. She’s always been too high-strung, more hummingbird than asari.”

“She is grown up, Aethyta, I know that… I just don’t have to acknowledge it or encourage it under my roof,” she sighed. “That girl is good for our Little Wing, I think,” they kissed the familiar kiss of a hundred thousand nights spent together and clicked off matching lamps. “Goodnight, love.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

 

 

The next morning Liara beat Shepard downstairs, pulling milled flour and the eggs of a native bird out of their places, banging around trying to remember where her mother kept her bowls. Aethyta came in wrapped in her robe and rubbing her eyes, yawning.

“Jeeze, kid, you trying to wake the whole neighbourhood? Got any coffee going, or what?”

Liara’s hand flew to her forehead, “Oh, coffee, of course!” She went to the pot and stood, hands on hips, studying it. Behind her Aethyta smiled and watched the same gestures and furrowed brow she had seen her daughter make since the day she was born. A tiny Liara, no bigger than a toddler, digging up all of Benezia’s bulbs in the garden, crying, “Look, wocks”; of a childhood spent in the woods, coming home stained of dirt, with the skull of a varren, or a fist full of feathers from a fallen bird; after-dark pick ups at the library, 10, 12, sometimes 20 books weighing down her small frame as she climbed into the skycar, mouth going a mile a minute about the geology of the cliffs outside Attena, or xenobiology, or this new species, humans. One memory in particular washed over her:

 

_Liara at 45, coming home, heart broken and tear tarnished, baffled as to why Verdell Juranta would have thrown the model galaxy she had lovingly crafted in the school trash bin. Of why she couldn’t see how the hours Liara had spent with glue and diagrams and textbooks had really been spent thinking about her, and her alone. How Aethyta and Benezia had stood outside Liara’s bedroom door, listening to their daughter’s mumblings as she flipped through datapads and journals on asari biology, so certain the answer to her heart’s break must be there somewhere; the key to love had to be found in a book._

 

Liara had succeeded in putting water in the receptacle, but had put whole beans in the basket. She was about to press the brew button when her father put her hand over it, bumping her with her hip. “I love you, kid.” Liara blushed and moved away, turning her attention back to the food as Aethyta ground the beans and started the coffee. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I wanted to make pancakes for Shepard,” she admitted, opening the flour and dumping some into the bowl her father had passed her. “She never lets me cook at her apartment,”

“I can see why. You’re about as useless as tits on a hanar in the kitchen, babe. You must do something special in bedroom…” Liara scoffed and put her hand over her face, smudging flour, white and blue a subtle contrast.

“She thinks I’m brilliant,” Liara retorted, mixing eggs and various other ingredients,

“Yah, and how many times have you thrown her on the bed and peeled her outta that skyball uniform?”

“Father…”

“What’s going on?” Shepard stood sleepily in the doorway, one swinging door opened. Liara made a noise like a mouse being stepped on and jumped, “Shepard, I was trying to make you breakfast, oh dear.” Jane came into the kitchen and took the bowl out of her hands,

“Let me, darling, you’re useless. Good morning Aethyta.”

“Told yah, babe.” She winked, pouring two cups of coffee – one for herself and one for Shepard, who took it eagerly. Liara slumped onto a stool.

“You’ve got some-“ Jane pointed to her forehead and shirt, and Liara ran a hand over her features, groaning when it came back covered in flour. “Just let me do breakfast, okay?” She grinned and dug through drawers, finding utensils and aprons. “I know you have a strict ‘no housework until we’re married rule’, Aethyta, but let’s let this one slide,” she winked. Liara rested her chin in her palm, elbow supporting her weight, as she sipped tea.

“Well, I’m going to wake your mother, leave you two to it,” Liara’s father took another mug from a glass-fronted cabinet and poured her wife some tea from Liara’s pot. “Don’t burn down the kitchen.”

When she had gone Shepard, in the midst of flipping pancakes and baking some kind of sausages she had found in the fridge, turned to her girlfriend, smiling and taking a sip of coffee, “You made great coffee, at least.”

“That was Dad.”

“Oh. Well, did you sleep well?” Liara nodded, smiling and sitting up straight,

“I did; I didn’t expect to, but… you?” Shepard shrugged, sneaking a kiss as she turned around and slid a pancake onto a plate.

“So, did you get in trouble from Mommmm,” she asked, teasing, pinching Liara’s cheek.

“She tucked me in, actually…” Shepard laughed,

“Oh, you’re serious. That’s cute, actually.”

“Jane, you have to understand, I haven’t seen my mother in quite some time. We pretend everything is fine over vid calls, and Aethyta wouldn’t let me go without seeing her – she would bug my apartment or something equally embarrassing – but when I started my PhD, my mother, well… I think she was still under the impression that I was going to ‘outgrow’ academia.” Shepard had placed her breakfast in front of her and Liara was pushing a piece of meat around with her fork.

“Well this is good, then,” Jane placed her hand over Liara’s, “hey,” she titled her chin up with a finger, “right?”

“Yes,” Liara blew out a trembling breath, eyes shining, “yes, I suppose you are correct.” She smiled a watery smile and began to eat her breakfast.

“Don’t worry, Li, families are nuts. But as far as they go, yours seems pretty awesome.” Liara’s Omni-tool buzzed and she opened a picture message, laughing around a mouthful of pancake, holding it out to Jane, who followed suit.

“Oh my God.” There was a series of pictures, four in total and obviously taken in quick succession, of Miranda Lawson and Jack. In the first they posed under what Shepard identified for Liara as mistletoe, wearing matching Christmas sweaters, one red, one green. In the second they kissed under the greenery, Jack’s hands roaming over Miranda in a rather inappropriate way, then a furious Miranda clutching her chest, where her sweater had been ripped down the middle, the last was just half a hand over the lens.

“Well, they seem to be getting along well.”

“That reminds me,” Liara said, placing their dishes in the sink and beginning to rinse them, “Would you like to go for a walk after breakfast?”

 

Once dressed the pair headed out in the snow, leaving Liara’s parents in the drawing room with a cozy fire going. Liara had handed Shepard a thermal axe, which Jane surveyed with one raised eyebrow, “is it dangerous out here?”

“We’re going to find a Christmas tree, Jane.”

“No way?” Her eyes lit up, trudging through the snow behind Liara with renewed vigor, “How awesome is that?”

“My mother decided we should let the human pick out the tree after Aethyta came home with a cactus from Majesa with a bow on it,”

“Well, I’m sure we’ll find something closer to an earth tree than that,” Jane replied, stumbling in the snow and hastily angling the axe away from herself. The grounds were massive, with a dark, thick forest on the south end. As they entered Shepard took a breath, leaning against a tree, “I have to quit smoking,” she mumbled, and took off to catch up to Liara, who was moving through the trees like she belonged there. Shepard thought she probably did. Had a feeling her asari had spent much more time in between these trunks than in dancehalls. The snow was barely a dusting here, but sunlight ran down through the branches in shafts of gold, and as Jane caught Liara she grabbed her hand, lacing fingers behind her back and stepping into a tree trunk, shoulders pressed into the rough bark. “How about this one?” She asked, nose pressed to Liara’s.

“Too tall,” Liara observed, kissing her gently, their lips cold, “we’ll have to keep looking.”

“Oh darn.” Liara took her hand and led her to a clearing, which had filled with snow; not a footprint broke the surface. “Can we test every tree like that? Like, every single tree in this forest?” Jane had the urge to tackle Liara into the snow, but thought better of it, didn’t want to have to explain soaking clothes and a lost thermal axe to the masters of the house.

“Then we would miss Christmas, Jane,” Liara huddled into her, “but that would be fine with me. I could spend it with you, and only you.”

“Make a fire,”

“Build a shelter,”

“Make love in the snow.” Shepard’s breath hitched as Liara ran her hand between her legs with enough pressure to feel through her pants. They kissed long and unhurried, noses going red and purple in the cold, mittened hands rested gently on cheeks and hips.

“I’d rather make love on a floor of a cabin, next to a roaring fire,” Jane finally replied, pressing her forehead to Liara’s. She smiled.

“I use to come here as a little girl, dig under logs and look for rocks – although then I had no idea what to look for.”

“I can just imagine it,” Shepard said, taking her hand and appraising the clearing, almost seeing a little blue asari running around in the summer grass that must fill the place during the warmer months. “I hope I’m lucky enough to have a daughter like you were one day, Liara.” Jane said, not really putting forethought into the weight her words held. Liara squeezed her hand,

“You-you mean a human daughter, I am sure.” Shepard looked over at her, disarming Liara with the intensity in them,

“Not necessarily.” The corners of Liara’s lip curled slightly, a meek smile, but her eyes were downcast. “Let’s find that Christmas tree,” Jane squeezed her hand back.


	22. Chapter 22

“Ah, Enkindler’s ass,” Aethyta was tangled in multicoloured lights; trying to force them onto the tree Liara and Shepard had dragged into the house. Jane was glad for Liara’s biotic ability as they had felled the perfect tree, the thermal axe making quick work of the thick trunk.

_“How are we going to get it home?” She asked, puzzled._

_“Jane…” Liara had lifted the tree with a flick of her wrist, dropping it back to the ground where snow cascaded around it. She had gently guided the tree back through the woods with a glowing field, and Shepard’s head had filled with_ all sorts of ideas _, most of them decidedly not appropriate for her parent’s company…_

 

“Why do you anthropocentric bags of dicks do this every year?”

“Aethyta!” Benezia came into the room carrying a tray of drinks, which looked to Shepard like eggnog. “Watch your language – sorry Jane, she doesn’t mean it.”

Shepard grinned. It was Christmas Eve. Liara had been disappointed when they couldn’t decorate the tree the day before, but Shepard had explained that it needed time for the branches to settle.

“We could have had a holographic tree…” Aethyta grumbled, “or a perfectly good fake one, I’m sure.”

“Well, yes,” Jane agreed, taking a glass of eggnog with a thanks to Liara’ mother, “Liara just told me that you-“

“-Benezia,” Aethyta corrected, finally getting a string on the tree,

“That Benezia thought it would be a nice thing…” She sipped her eggnog, smacking her lips. “Oh man, I missed that taste.” Liara sniffed hers and screwed up her nose, placing it on the window ledge, “Ah, come on honey, try it.” She did, and made a pleasantly surprised face.

“So, let me get this straight: you bring a dying tree inside and decorate it so a fat man can break into your house and leave you gifts?” Shepard shrugged, smiling at Benezia who was patting her wife’s shoulder lovingly. “And this is some religious thing?”

“Well, yah. It’s complicated,”

“Why is it all I hear from you kids is, ‘it’s complicated’? Live as long as me and you’ll see complicated…” Aethyta started to bring out bulbs, brand new, and hung them all on the lowest branches.

“Here, like this,” Jane took some and began to hang them properly, inviting Liara to help. The asari gave her a chaste kiss and took the bulbs.  
“Christmas is not that different from Janiris, father,”

“I can think of a few ways it is,” she replied, winking at Benezia.

“Actually, I think Janiris is more like Easter,” Shepard said; Liara gave her a look of shock. “What? I know things, T’Soni... and, Christmas started out being about the Son of God,” Shepard continued, “Well, no. It started out as some ritualistic pagan rituals-er-well, actually first it was about some old legends about a nice old man bringing gifts to poor kids, or something…”

“Yah, the burglar in the red suit,” Aethyta sat in a chair by the fire and watched her daughter and Jane at the tree.

“No, that came later, after Jesus, the wisemen and the donkey…”

“The son of the Christian god was born in a manger, father.”

“Athame’s tits…”

“Anyway, then came the whole Santa thing, with the red suit,” Jane motioned to Aethyta with a decoration in hand, “and his reindeer –uh, antlered animals, and they fly, except they don’t, really… you know what? Never mind.”

Aethyta took a swig of eggnog and made a face, “what the shit is this?” Shepard looked sheepish,

“Add some rum?” Liara’s father held out her glass to her bondmate who poured some of her drink into it,

“Ah, much better. Humans are confusing…”

 

Once the tree was done Shepard persuaded Liara to take a photo next to it, sending it to Aria, Jack and Miranda on a whim; the garish lights reflected off their smiling faces, and the green of the tree clashed spectacularly with Shepard’s hair.

“Thank you, Matriarchs, this means a lot to me,” she said, turning to face them, misty-eyed. “It really does.”

“Our pleasure, Jane,” Benezia patted her arm and Aethyta tipped her glass in her direction.

“Oh, hang on!” Shepard dashed out of the room, leaving a confused asari family in her wake, and came back with an arm full of presents, stuffing them under the tree.

“Weird.”

“Shush, The.”

“Now, we don’t open them until tomorrow morning,” Shepard smiled, taking Liara into her arms and surveying the room: the perfect Christmas tableau. “This was the best idea you’ve ever had,” she whispered to her. Liara smiled a mischievous smile and whispered back,

“Better than forgiving you?” Shepard tipped her head in a coy, ‘no’.

 

Liara felt her heart swell as she reentered the drawing room, seeing Shepard sat in front of the Christmas tree, her father in one arm chair and her mother in the other; Jane just fit so perfectly it scared her, it elated her, it made her wonder about future Christmases and Janiris parties and birthdays, births, anniversaries.

That scared her even more.

They had dinned together again - Shepard not spilling anything out of her nose or other orifices this time - and had each spent some time alone after dinner: Liara relaxing in a bath, wishing Jane was with her; Shepard in her room, wishing she was with Liara; her parents taking a walk; and reading the paper. Now Liara had a surprise for Jane, one she hoped would go over well and not make her blush to the roots of her magnificent hair. “Shepard, can you assist me with something?” Jane looked up and got to her feet, following Liara into the hall. In the foyer there sat a grand piano.

“Liara, where did this come from?” Jane ran her hands along the keys, so much more impressive than her baby grand at home.

“It was in the West-wing, I told you it was a closet, but we have a music room. I wanted it to be a surprise…” Jane took her hand and kissed it. “It is self tuning, an asari model based on Earth design, but I did not know if you’d be willing to play for us?”

“I’d love to, darling.” Liara slid the piano into the drawing room with her biotics where her mother smiled over at them.

Shepard did blush, but sat at the bench and played traditional Christmas songs while the three asari tapped their toes and stared at the fire, the tree, at the enthusiastic human in their midst. After _Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas_ , which Jane knew was Liara’s new favourite, Jane played one more, tears streaming down her cheeks after the second verse; Liara went to her and sat on the bench, leaning her head on her shoulder.

_…Christmas Eve will find me_

_Where the love light gleams_

 

She looked at Liara next to her.

_I’ll be home for Christmas_

_If only in my dreams._

 

“That was beautiful, Shepard,” Liara spoke softly, wiping tears off her beloved’s face.

“It always makes me cry,” she laughed, shrugging at Liara’s parents, “sorry.”

“It was great, kid;” Benezia nodded at her bondmate, a strange pinched look on her face. “So, what other weird ass holidays should we expect you at?” They all laughed as Jane stood and yawned.

 

After goodnights were exchanged Liara and Shepard retired upstairs, getting ready for bed together, enjoying the renewal of their routines.

As Liara brushed her teeth Jane sat on the edge of the bathtub, watching blue skin shining in bright bathroom light. “This is very special for me, Liara,” when her toothbrush was returned to its place Liara crouched in front of her, cradling her face.  
“For me as well, Shepard. I believe my parents like you a great deal.”

“When I was a kid I always imagined Christmases like this. I’m sure I had some when I was really little, but…” she trailed off. They went hand in hand to Liara’s bed where Jane placed a kiss on her forehead.

“I’m very glad we are spending this time together, Jane.”

“Merry Christmas, Liara.” The unspoken _I love you_ dangling over them like mistletoe, _you know I do…_

“Merry Christmas, Shepard.”

_I love you too._

 

Shepard was just getting under the covers when there was a knock on her door. She went to it, walking lightly across the floor on bare feet. Matriarch Benezia stood in her doorway with two glasses of milk and some cookies. “Hello, Jane,” Shepard silently invited her in,

“Matriarch.”

Benezia handed Jane a glass and a cookie, and Shepard retreated to her bed, sitting up in it. “I believe this is a human Christmas tradition as well?” Shepard wasn’t surprised; Liara had to get her insatiable thirst for knowledge from somewhere.

She laughed, “yes, but it’s usually for kids – not that I don’t love it.” She dipped her cookie in the milk and crunched, as Benezia did the same; it was the strangest sight she had ever seen.

“Thank you, Benezia. You have no idea how wonderful this is, for me.” The asari nodded, putting down her glass and patting Shepard’s leg in a motherly fashion.

“I think I do, Jane. I am a mother, I know what traditions and stability do for children – even grown ones…” She looked out the window, where a soft snow was falling.

“I believe my daughter loves you, Jane.” She said, gaze still on the window, “I believe you are going to be a part of this family.” Shepard looked down at her hands, unsure how to answer. “Thank you for respecting our rules here…”

“I wouldn’t dream of-“

“Oh, silly girl, I remember being your and Liara’s age,” Benezia smiled, “as my bondmate reminded me. I don’t expect you to follow them to the letter,” she raised one of those eyebrow-like markings that her daughter also had.

“Benezia, Liara told me the two of you don’t always see eye-to-eye, but I can see how much you are alike. How much you love her… I don’t think she always sees that, but I do.” Shepard hesitated, “I do because I hurt her once…” Benezia nodded, “and I don’t intend to let it happen again; to let anyone do that to her again.” A hollow punch in the gut, that thought.

“Thank you, for saying that, Jane,” Benezia rose, heading for the door, “and thank you for loving my daughter.” Shepard nodded, feeling the weight of those words hang in the air.

“Merry Christmas, Matriarch.”

“Merry Christmas, Jane.”

 

Liara awoke suddenly, to a furious pounding on her door. She shot out of bed and opened the door, bleary eyed and confused in the pre-dawn light.

“Merry Christmas!” It was Shepard, practically jumping up and down.

“Really, Jane? What time is it?”

“I don’t know, but it’s Christmas,” she shoved Liara back into the room and leaped onto the bed, burrowing into the covers and flipping over Liara’s drool-soaked pillow.

“You’re going to wake my parents…” Liara yawned, joining her in the bed and pulling the heavy blanket over them both. “Can’t we just sleep for another little bit?”

“Sure…” Jane looked disappointed, but couldn’t resist Liara’s warm body pressed next to hers. The snuggled and dozed, Jane watching the sky getting lighter and lighter, occasionally pressing soft kisses against Liara’s crest, making her smile in her sleep.

Shepard must have slept because the next thing she knew she was being tapped on the shoulder, a purple face too close to hers. “Good morning, rule-breaker. What are you doing in here?” Aethyta was grinning as Jane shot up and crab crawled away from her,

“Dad, she just came to wake me up…” Liara rolled over and said, eyes still closed, not taking her father’s presence as any kind of threat.

“Wait until I tell your mother,” she winked at Shepard, who was relaxing,

“Please do not do that.” Liara stretched and threw her legs over the side of the bed, “okay, now it is Christmas, Shepard.” She smiled and patted her hand, behind her.

 

Jane rushed down the stairs, slowing at the bottom and peeking into the drawing room where presents were stacked. Benezia had a tray of breakfast pastries and coffee and tea, and was lighting the fire with the push of a button. “Good morning, Jane.” Shepard replied and took a cup of coffee, holding the warmth between her two hands, her fuzzy robe and the fire completing the package.

Liara came up behind her and pressed her head into her shoulder, still rubbing sleep from her eyes. “Good morning, Mother,”

“Liara,” she handed her a cup of tea and kissed her on the corner of her mouth. As Aethyta joined them they all perched in places and began to hand out gifts. Shepard gave them all mismatched wool sweaters, doubting very much Liara’s parents would actually wear them. “It’s kinda a thing…” she mumbled, pulling hers on while Liara did the same.

Benezia opened a large box of garden bulbs from Shepard and fawned over them, saying she couldn’t wait to watch them bloom. Liara smiled at her,

“Mother has a greenhouse, Shepard, you will keep her quite busy with those.”

Jane nodded and watched Liara’s father open her present: a bottle of Earth Scotch.

“A+, babe.”

Jane opened a bag of strong coffee beans from Liara’s parents, as well as a gift-chit to a Thessian music store, and a new guitar case. Shepard looked at them, speechless, before muttering, “thank you,” very quietly. Benezia hugged her and nodded.

Liara had gotten her a model ship – “Oh, wow! I’ve been meaning to buy this one” – and some hair products, which, seemingly innocuous to her parents, made her blush purple when Jane winked at her over their packaging. She also received a pair of earrings with stones the same shade as her eyes, which she put in right away, much to Liara’s pleasure.

Shepard had gifted Liara several of her favourite books, which Liara excitedly flipped through, babbling about Earth literature until her father told her knock it off, and a bottle of strong rum, which Liara groaned at, making Shepard laugh. Liara had made her parents promise not to buy her anything, but they gave her one large box, which when opened turned out to be a set of pots and a coffee maker like their own. “You need to keep the human happy, Little Wing,” her dad chided.

Shepard reached behind the tree and brought out one last gift with Liara’s name on it, gulping and handing it over, “it’s, uh, not much, but I thought you might like it…”

Liara gave her a strange look and unwrapped the flat package, gasping and looking at Jane with her blue eyes wide. It was the song she had composed for her, laid flat and framed, “You can hang it next to your PhD,” Shepard joked, but Liara held her tight.

Her parents looked confused until she held it up. They both smiled, and Shepard saw Aethyta nudge Benezia in the ribs, whispering something that sounded like,

“I told you…”

“There’s something on the back,” Jane finished, watching Liara flip it over, to where a delicate necklace hung. It shone in the lights of the Christmas tree, an amber colour dancing with spikes of yellow. “It’s rock from Therum… where you-“

“-Where I did my first dig…” Liara closed her eyes and held the frame close to her chest. “Thank you, Jane, I love it.” She opened her eyes and held it out to her, stepping close so Shepard could fasten it around her neck. Shepard felt a drip on her chest, saw tears fall from Liara’s eyes, but the smile was bright. Liara leaned in so Shepard could clasp the necklace around that graceful neck, and Jane heard that bedroom voice, low, next to her ear. Her knees felt weak, a pulse of longing hitting her between the legs, hot fire in her gut.

“I have another gift for you as well… one you can unwrap later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gawd, I even puked myself out with this, but Christmas just turns me into a sap monster, all fuzziness and cloyingly sweet crap… Again, song not mine, obviously, I mean, come on… ;) Words and Music by Kim Gannon, Buck Ram, and Walter Kent, 1943, 1948.


	23. Chapter 23

Aethyta was halfway through her bottle of Scotch by early evening. Shepard had joined her in one, but wanted to keep her wits about her; something about the tone in Liara’s voice, how she had rubbed her through her pants while in the woods, her barely veiled invite to join her in her bath…

“So you wrote a song for my kid?” They were in the hidden den again, sharing a drink and passing time until Aethyta and Benezia were scheduled to depart for a dinner party.

“I did,” Shepard replied, not sure what else to say. The asari looked over at her,

“You gonna play it for me, or are you going to make me beg?” Shepard went to her and sat on the arm of the chair, something she never would have done if Benezia had been in the room. She opened her Omni-tool and played the recording she had made the day she wrote Liara’s Song, taking tiny noshes of her Scotch.

When it was done she shut off her Omni-tool but continued to perch on the side of the chair, actually accepting a refill when Liara’s father offered.

“Wow, Jane.” It’s the first time Aethyta has called her that; she thinks it is anyway. “Wow, you’ve got it bad for my girl, don’t you?”

“The worst, ma’am.”

“Nezzy and I will be gone until morning… the skycar may end up having trouble. Her loving bondmate may have made a reservation at Armali’s finest hotel, get my drift?” She drained her glass and winked. Shepard just stared, so very thankful that this strange and honest creature was in her life. “Hey, I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. Surprised your panties haven’t caught fire.”

“Aethyta, I’m going to level with you, because I feel like I can,” Shepard began, thankful Liara wasn’t around, “I want to. I _so_ want to-“

“-But it’s my kid’s decision, huh? Well, you have her mother to blame for that. Probably. Or maybe it’s just who Liara was going to be anyway, I don’t know. Nezzy’s so damn nice, but she’s got a little bit of a stick up her ass; Liara gets that from her, not me.” Jane snorted, _obviously. I’m sitting here talking about having sex with your daughter and you’re all ‘Yah, cool babe.’ Would probably give me tips…_

She patted Shepard’s leg, once, hard, and got up, “Just no sex in here. I just cleaned the bar.”

 

“We’ll be back before midnight,” Benezia was at the door, pulling a luxurious coat over her pale yellow dress, delightfully large hat perched on her head. Shepard thought if she was any indication of asari aging, she was going to be very lucky to have Liara by her side. Behind her Aethyta shook her head from side to side, mouthing ‘No we won’t’.

“If you need anything, just call,” she leaned in and kissed Liara, seeing the headlights of the skycar pass over the foyer windows. Aethyta went to hug Jane, as an excuse to whisper, “don’t you dare call. Unless you want a _very graphic_ reminder of why we won’t be home before tomorrow.” Shepard cringed, but patted her awkwardly on the back. Liara gave them both a strange look. Benezia seemed thrilled.

“Okay, well have a wonderful night, goodnight Little Wing,” Shepard pressed her lips together to hide her smirk; that adorable nickname never got old.

“Have fun, Mother, we’ll be fun-uh-fine. Bye Dad,” she closed the door and watched the car pull away, before spinning and pressing both her hands flat against the door. “I thought they’d never leave.” Shepard smirked, stepping towards her, kicking a purse out of the way, and pressing one hand on each of hers, effectively pinning her to the hard wooden door.  
“They won’t be back until tomorrow,” Shepard breathed in Liara’s ear, kissing her jaw, just a ghost of her lips.

Liara let out a low, pleasant “Mmmmm, is that right? Is that what my father was so subtly trying to tell us.”

“Yes,” she ran her tongue along Liara’s ear, “We have the whole night to ourselves…”

“Well, what are we going to do about that?” She purred, trying to move her hands to Jane’s waist. Shepard applied more force and kept her in place, letting out a low rumble from her throat. Liara gasped, an unanticipated surge of arousal hitting her like a force.

“Let’s make this night special,” she breathed against blue skin,

“That’s the plan,” Liara replied, her eyes hooded.

“It is dinner time…” Jane let Liara’s hands go, but the asari kept them where they were; liked this feeling of being on display, of being trapped. Shepard ran hers down Liara’s bare arms, slowly, over ribs and hipbones, sinking to her knees and lifting Liara’s skirt, tucking it behind her, where it stayed, pressed between her lover’s back and the door. Liara fought the urge to look down, couldn’t bear to see, could feel her underwear sticking to her with dampness. She couldn’t help it and peered down over heaving breasts, to where Jane had her hips in a vice grip; she was looking back up, green meeting blue. Despite her bravado Liara could see a question in Jane’s eyes, _is this okay? Tell me, please._ Liara felt a sudden rush of heat between her legs: pins and needles in her azure, fire in her abdomen, her skin flushing with heat. She grabbed the back of Shepard’s head and pulled her in, rearing up as she licked one inner thigh. The hot breath nearly made her faint, her knees rubber, her core actually throbbing in anticipation.

_Oh Goddess, just take me now._

Jane brought on thumb up to Liara’s enflamed lips, tracing the wet outline through her panties. Her own pants felt so tight. She could practically feel her clit get hard, jump against her underwear as Liara responded to her touch, at the smell of her, at the softness of her skin. _Oh Jesus…_ She drew one hand up to Liara’s hip and began to draw her underwear down, Liara, making small mewling noises in her throat, hands trembling against the door, causing a dull knocking.

 _Wait, what? Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh shit!_ She quickly drew the elastic band up and Liara’s dress down, threw her off the door and stood in front of her, protectively. Her eyes darted to the purse. Benezia’s purse.

She slowly opened the door, trying to hide the flushed Liara, hoping they didn’t smell like desire and urging.

“Your mother’s purse, in hand, now.” Aethyta spoke in broken bits, covering her eyes and holding out her hand, “Don’t want to see, don’t need to know.”

“Father, there is nothing to see or know,” Liara lied, oblivious to Shepard’s earlier conversation with her.

She dropped her hand and looked crestfallen, “Well, Christ, kid – great word, by the way, Shep – get to it.” She took Benezia’s clutch and retreated, muttering “be thankful I knocked, at least, it’s my own goddamned house…” It was Shepard’s turn to collapse on the door. She felt dizzy.

“I think I’m going to be sick…”

Liara covered her mouth and laughed, taking Jane’s hand and leading her up the stairs. “I’ll make us some dinner, you stay here,” she said, ignoring Shepard’s protest at the prospect of dinner by way of Liara. She lay on Liara’s bed, debating saving her girlfriend from culinary shock and awe but found herself dozing off within minutes of removing her pants.

 

She awoke to the sound of running water. There was a plate with a sandwich and sticks of some turquoise root vegetable on it, and Shepard picked at the veggies, crunching them questionably but enjoying the flavour. She finished half the sandwich while Liara was in the bathroom – could hear bottles and the splash of water, the brushing of teeth.

She lay back down, propping the pillows under her so she lounged on the bed in her t-shirt and underwear, and closed her eyes, enjoying the sounds of Liara doing mundane things in the next room. _I could get used to this,_ she thought. She was almost complete relaxed, in that wooly place between sleep and waking, when, “Merry Christmas, Shepard.” Liara’s voice, husky, gravelly even, from the bathroom door. She opened her eyes and her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. Blue legs for miles peeked out from the high-cut hem of a silk robe, which was barely drawn across Liara’s chest; she had a tantalizing view of cleavage and the darker indigo where Liara’s legs met. Those legs crossed at the ankles and Jane almost melted into the bed.

Her eyes were half closed and she blinked a few slow times at Jane, who scooted up until she was against the headboard, swallowing hard. It seemed all the moisture in her body had gone to one specific place. She wished she had thought to take off another layer of clothing. Liara’s eyes darted to Jane’s bra strap, which was peeping out from her shirt, and the asari bit her bottom lip with her teeth; it was driving her wild.

“Liara…” The asari let the robe open and pulled it off her shoulders, where the airy fabric slid down her arms and pooled at her feet. Jane moaned, digging her fingers into the bed. Her first view of Liara’s body was breathtaking; it was mouth watering, she could feel her eyes trying to look ten places at once. Perfect blue skin, glowing in the low light of the room, dotted with freckles across her shoulders, her chest, a path down to her full, soft breasts tipped with dark blue nipples; round shoulders and collarbones she wanted to suck on, full hips that tapered into lithe legs, the place between those legs, the same colour as her nipples; Jane had felt it all before, over clothes, under clothes, but this, this was- _Whew._

Liara’s long lashes were tickling her cheeks, eyes downcast and demure, then seeking into Shepard’s very soul, half lidded, but confident - brazen even - and she began to stride across the floor, one foot in front of the other, so much like her dancing; a slink, so much like oil.

Liara trembled, feeling Jane’s naked appraisal of her body. She took a deep breath and approached the foot of the bed, climbed on with the same grace, flowing over Shepard’s body, maintaining terrifying and electric eye contact. Liara slipped one leg over Shepard’s, one between them. Shepard brought a hand up to Liara’s bicep, then slipped it around to the back of her neck and crest, her other elbow supporting her weight as they brought their lips together, sighing into each other. All the craving and longing she had been afraid of peaked as Shepard gently let her weight down and ran her hand along Liara’s thigh. Liara ran her hand across Shepard’s breast, collarbone, shoulder; she bore down into the kiss and slid across Jane’s leg, painting her skin with wetness, feeling Jane’s reaction against her. Wisps of biotic energy danced around them. Shepard moaned, running the hand on Liara’s neck down her back, her heart hammering in her chest.

Blue eyes were turning smoky grey, and they ended the scorching kiss long enough to catch their breath, “Are you sure?” Jane asked, staring into those eyes that had captured her heart.

_Oh Goddess, yes._

“I have never been more sure of anything in my life,” Liara replied, kissing her again. Jane felt a spike of pleasure in her core, her skin breaking out into a cold shiver, and she surged forward, taking Liara’s neck in her mouth, biting along groves, worshiping the sensitive flesh with her tongue. “Jane, _ah_ …”

She used her sinewy strength to roll them over, lifting Liara into her arms; breasts pressed together, hands wrapped around backs. A needy whimper tore from Liara’s lips as she felt herself getting impossibly wet, her nerves in flames, and her skin radiating want. She clawed at Shepard’s shirt, pulling it up over her head before Shepard kissed her way down her chest, following every dark freckle to her breast. One, then the other, Jane passed her tongue in circles over hardening nipples, wanting to take them in her hands, but not wanting to relinquish her hold on Liara.

“God. I can’t, _uh_ -” Underwear was gone, bra vanished.

“ _Yes_.”

Moans and whispers ripped at the quiet night; Liara didn’t recognize the high-pitched noises coming from her own mouth, couldn’t control them, didn’t want to. Wanted Shepard to know how desperately she wanted her, she needed her. Thighs were pressed into wet places, both of them seeking purchase, finding knees and ridges and sharp cries resulting, but the friction they craved, the fullness wasn’t there. Frantic clawing and kissing made sweat break out, their skin soon slipping pleasurably against each others. Shepard thought she had never felt something as soft as Liara’s skin. Liara finally broke down and fisted Jane’s hair, pulling fiercely, as a pale and freckled hand found her azure. _By the Goddess, yes, touch me._

“Shepard!”

Jane nearly sobbed as Liara’s silky wetness coated her fingers. “Oh, Liara… I” She laid her down, slowly, hovering over her, “If I hurt you… please, if you ask me to slow down, or to stop…” Caressing gently, she slowed her pace, watching as Liara bit her lip and rose into her hand. She opened her eyes and looked at her; they were inkwells.

“You won’t. I won’t… _ah._ ” Shepard licked her jaw and ran a hand down the swell of her hip, pulling her leg up. She kissed her slowly, still touching her, Liara still bucking under her, hands drumming on Jane’s back. She entranced Jane; the way she threw her head from side to side, the way she rose into her touch, the way she said her name in that airy voice; all the things Jane had dreamed of. Liara looked up at her again, gentle blue hands tucking her hair behind her ears, and she raised herself off the bed to kiss Jane,

“I love you, Shepard.”

“I love you too, Liara.”

“Show me.”

And she does.

With one smooth movement she is inside, and Liara is more than ready. It was like slipping into a bath, coming home, seeing colours you didn’t know existed, and Shepard cried out at the pure joy of it, feeling Liara clamp down around her, giving her time to get used to the feeling before slowly beginning to thrust. Liara’s eyes flew open and she dragged Jane’s neck down, forehead-to-forehead, rocking up to meet her every thrust. _I never thought it would be like this-_

“ _Yes_. Goddess.”

“Liara-Liara-Liara,” Jane couldn’t stop whispering her name. Knows the sheets are ruined already, doesn’t care - only cares about this wonderful, sleek creature in her arms. Liara started to thrash beneath her, limbs shaking, trembling, her hips firmly matching Shepard’s movements inside of her: curling, thrusting, stretching, soaring.

A string of asari words left her lips, mixed with Shepard’s name and keening cries and Jane knows she’s close, so close. Jane is close too.

“Ah, ah, oh Goddess,”

Liara suddenly reached out with her mind and Shepard was knocked back into herself, into Liara, and it’s deeper than Aria, deeper than anything she’s ever experienced. It’s her, but it’s Liara. It’s Liara, but it’s her. Thoughts are shared, mirrored, not shared at all, just felt, and rapidly Jane could feel what Liara was feeling, all of the pleasure, the balloon of love, the fear of losing her, of loving her too deeply, of not deserving Shepard, all tangled together in a web of red emotion. Shepard sends every ounce of love she’s felt for this woman back, knows she doesn’t have to but wants it concentrated, right there for Liara: The first time she laid eyes on her, the first time she heard her voice, standing at her door in the rain, nights laying in bed wondering where she was, what she was doing; can’t help but send the shame and agony too, and the heartsick feelings after. How much she loves her body; loves this.

Shepard felt Liara’s pleasure ripple through her, and then Liara’s fingers seeking, finding, filling her, and she rocked onto them; doesn’t need to tell her what she wants, what she needs, they already know.

_Shepard, I don’t know…_

_I can’t believe I’m the first…_

_I want you, oh God-_

_I’m-_

_Darling-_

_To- Oh_

_Don’t be afraid-_

_Everyday, Shepard._

_How could it be me…_

_I thought I’d never_

_I didn’t know it would be like-_

_I love you_

_Never_

_I will be brave for you_

_A thousand years, Liara, for as long as you live_

_Forever_

The cacophony didn’t stop, just thoughts reeling and rolling. They clutched onto each other with free hands, Shepard’s weight pressed on top of her lover, Liara not caring, liking it. Shepard opened her eyes and looked down at blue perfection under her: an almost prim facial expression clashing with the loud cries and whimpers that were coming from Liara now. It was too much and she stiffened, rearing up and coming with a thousand colours and a guttural scream, but didn’t stop, the burning in her arm, her hand, ignored. Wetness was spilling down her wrist - _Liara spilling down my wrist -_ she thought in their shared headspace, and that was enough to set Liara’s orgasm off. She grabbed onto Shepard’s hair and a shrill scream filled the bedroom, trembling muscles going rock solid, breasts rising and falling, Jane’s fingers in a vice of fluttering muscles. “ _Ahh_ … Shepard…Goddess, _yes_.” Shepard followed, again. Couldn’t help it.

Liara grasped onto her for dear life, nails digging into her skin, tears streaming down her face.

Shepard heard, “I love you, I love you, I love you…” over and over; inside her head or out, she didn’t know.

She was emotionally spent, physically weak, but couldn’t stop kissing every bare patch of Liara’s skin she could find, shuddering with aftershocks, Liara’s breath coming in rasps beneath her, gradually slowing into an even, sleepy cadence.

“By the Goddess, Shepard, that was incredible,” she finally said, through a tear-thick voice, throwing one arm over her eyes.

“You were incredible,” she answered, rolling onto her back and pulling Liara close, where the asari ran her fingers over her chest and arms, trying to map all of Jane’s topography.

“I do love you, Jane,” Liara leaned up on one elbow, looking into freckles and sleepy eyes. Shepard smiled, she knew, she had felt it in the meld. She kissed her, slowly.

“I know, I’ve always known,” she replied, closing her eyes and enjoying Liara’s touch on her skin. All the things they had discovered in each other ran, tangled, through her head, but she didn’t know how to process them, how to bring them up. They dozed in their afterglow, chests rising and falling in tandem, until Liara spoke up.

“You thought I was sleeping with James?”

“Oh, shush. I just saw a smoking hot asari who was left alone with the Captain of the skyball team, what was I supposed to think?” She swatted at Liara, who was smiling that mischievous smile.

“The terrible skyball team…” She muttered.

“What was that, T’Soni?”

 

They woke early, desire rising in them both as naked bodies pressed close, but they knew they couldn’t risk it. Hands wandered, relatively chastely, until they resigned to climbing out of bed, stripping the sheets and replacing them with new ones, Shepard chasing Liara around the bed with the sheets trailing behind her, the asari shrieking as Jane dropped the fabric and threw her over her shoulder; they collapsed on the mattress, wrestling and kissing under the unmade top sheet in new-love giddiness.

Shepard retrieved clothing from her room and joined Liara in her ensuite, where she was testing the temperature of a shower with her hand. Jane came up behind her and pressed her naked self to Liara’s back, her breasts pressing into shoulder blades; she could hear the song she wrote for her in her mind. She wrapped her arms around, gently cupping breasts, and Liara leaned her head into her, her crest draping over her shoulder, giving access to her neck and those sensitive tendrils. She kissed them, tongued them, and ran her cheek along them, making Liara’s breath speed up. One hand left her chest and trailed down past her stomach, a stomach still soft and womanly unlike Shepard’s muscular one, and between those legs, softly opening her up and finding silk. Liara had one hand over Jane’s, the other wrapped around her neck. As the bathroom filled with steam Shepard brought her up, up, up, then stopped, worshipping her neck, shoulders, arms, before starting the process all over again. By the end she was shaking against Jane’s breasts, all whimpering and sighs; once Shepard’s fingers pressed into her and curled, finding a place Liara had never known existed, she shook apart in her arms in an instant.

They showered, washing backs and limbs and pressing soapy bodies together. Liara attempted to return the wonderful favour, but Shepard had simply kissed her and said, “Later; just hold me. Please.”

They had barely been dressed half an hour before her parents returned, Aethyta making a racket as they came through the door. They were sat in the drawing room by the tree, Liara reading one of her Christmas presents, Jane tinkering on the piano.

“Kids,” she said, winking at them. Benezia came in looking flushed, dropping her purse on the table and kissing her daughter, “We are terribly sorry. Your father swept me away last night. I tried to call but she talked me out of it.”  
“107, Benezia,” came Aethyta’s voice from the hall, “a grown-ass adult.”

“Regardless, I hope you had a lovely evening, I am going to change,” she raised her voice, “your father did not have the foresight to pack any clothing for today.”

“Hell, we didn’t need _clothes_ , babe…”

Liara blushed, sneaking a glance at Shepard.

Liara’s father returned a few minutes later, in fresh clothing, having taken hers and Benezia’s to the laundry. She was holding the freshly laundered sheets the pair had thrown in hours before.

“Liara, come with me,” was all she said, and Liara obeyed, throwing a look back at Jane.

Father and daughter headed upstairs, where Aethyta closed Liara’s door and began stripping the sheet off her bed. “So, got your rocks off, finally, huh? About damn time.” Liara went the pale colour of the sky after a storm.

“I convinced your mother to take a bath, and you’re damn lucky I did, kid. Nice job, but don’t you think she would have noticed the sheets were a different colour than the ones she put on here for you?”

Liara sputtered something like, “apargnickle.”

“And what exactly were you going to tell her when she found your old sheets in the dryer? Here, help me, kiddo.” They changed the bed in silence, her father barely containing her grin. Aethyta patted her on the back and went to leave her to her embarrassment, when Liara looked up at her.

“Turns out I do call her Shepard in bed…”

“That’s my girl.”


	24. Chapter 24

Aria never took her own drugs. Had grown out of that habit as a young maiden. Tonight was different. T’Soni and Shepard were gone, she had the apartment to herself, and Jack was busy playing doctor with the doctoral candidate. _One little pick-me-up won’t hurt, that last one you did didn’t hurt…_ So she broke her only rule and put some up her nose for the second time in a week.

She slipped down the stairs on her heels, just barely keeping upright as she hit the landing, grabbing the rail for balance. She opened up the stairwell doorway and stepped out into the night, pulling her jacket around her; leather was great for her image - for her figure - but it had its very real downsides. She stumbled over an icy patch and swore, hailing a skycar at the curb and jumping in.

“Purgatory,” she said, leaning into the seat and letting the auto drive do the work, arms and legs crossed as she surveyed the passing lights, all a blur.

The car pulled into the club and black boot heels appeared out of the door, one, then the other. A turian catcalled from the curb and she looked him up and down, slowly. She took another minute to survey the crowd, taking a drink from the flask in her pocket and straightening her collar. Sauntering past the line she opened the door, giving the bouncer a single look that made him drop his arm and let her pass. _At least I’m still respected around here_ , she thought, taking a mental inventory of the small baggies in various pockets. She had debated calling Jack for a quick divide and conquer, but had decided to fly solo; to mix business with pleasure tonight.

The bass thudded against her temples, into her chest, made her skin tingle with possibilities. Tonight she was going to forget, but to forget she had to find someone to focus on. Violet eyes scanned the levels, found the bar she liked to haunt, and she strode through the crowd, it parting like water without a single prompt. However damaged she may have felt inside, outwardly her aura was intact, and she shot dangerous, flirtatious looks to the odd dancer as she passed. _Let them think they have a chance; let them dream of this moment when they go home alone and sleep off whatever they buy._

Aria slid into a soft chair and had a bottle of liquor on her table within a minute, and two customers within five. She began to relax, surveying the scene, doing business quietly but without shame or fear of recourse; soon her supply was gone, her chit was full and she had polished off the entire bottle of brandy.

Snapping her fingers another appeared, delivered by a purple asari with round hips and no facial markings to speak of. Aria nodded her thanks and tilted her head back in an invite, making room on the chair for the girl to sit. Soft body pressed into lean muscle as the girl sank into her lap, _Hmmm…_ Aria thought, _haven’t been with a dancer in awhile._

They spent the next bottle in the company of whispers against ears and wandering hands, until Aria stood, abruptly and took the asari’s hand, leading to the washrooms, making a spectacular scene as hands worked over buckles and curves.

“Take me home,” the girl, whose name Aria hadn’t asked, breathed against her ear,

“You first.”

Stumbled steps and missing clothing dictated their trip, to an apartment in a place Aria wouldn’t remember, to a bed that didn’t smell familiar, with a body that she worshipped and used like it was the last time. They crashed together like feral varren, between lines of Red Sand off each other’s stomachs, and didn’t come down until the thin light of dawn was pouring in through the windows. Aria woke to afternoon sunshine, the asari still asleep next to her, and she flinched away from her, feeling below her, below this. She took another hit of whatever was left in her pocket and pulled on her remaining clothes; thankful her jacket was in one piece. She picked up a bottle of rum on the way back to her apartment, locked the door and got drunk, alone.

 

She managed to make it through the next few days by ordering in and taking snort after snort of her product, coming in and out of the grey daze to open another bottle, fuck another random person, and smoke cigarettes. On what was Christmas Eve she made an effort to call Shepard, remembered how the human had gone on and on about the holiday, about _Liara_ , about how she didn’t care if it didn’t line up with the Thessian calendar:

 _“Whatever day lines up with December 24 and 25, Earth time, is Christmas, Aria. I don’t care what you call it…_ ” She paused over the table, over the line, and smiled a little, missing the strange human and her anal girlfriend. There was no answer, so she tapped out a message and went back to her drugs and her dark.

She sat in the room until it spun, then threw up and fell asleep.

When she woke up her head buzzed and her eyes felt like sand. She knew she should clean, knew Liara was due home in the next few days, but couldn’t bring herself to rise, just lay there, smelling of some random woman, tasting like an ashtray, and slowly wallowing in pathetic self pity. _Fuck this,_ she thought, not for the first time.  

 _I’m Aria Fucking T’Loak. Not some common Helix user or garbage alcoholic living in a ward. If she doesn’t see that I’ll make her._ She showered and changed and took one more hit for the road before calling a skycar to bring her downtown.

Aria pounded on the door, forgoing the intercom next to the pressure pad. Tevos lived in a sprawling townhouse, attached to several other, identical sprawling townhouses, all tiny manicured front lawns in a row, all front steps the same shade of grey, every railing the same elaborate, Thessian swirl. Aria had never felt so out of place; she usually made everyone else feel out of place, whether in a drug den, a ballroom or a nightclub, she owned the room. Now she felt small, which in turn made her clench her teeth and bang harder.

She saw the camera twitch out of the corner of her eye and met its gaze, daring Tevos to deny her entry. She heard the door unlock and she slammed it open, meeting Thea in the open space of her kitchen.

“Aria, what are you-“

“You don’t get to throw me aside, Thea,” she stalked toward her and slammed herself into Tevos’ space; she was wrapped in a bathrobe and nothing else. “You don’t get to make that decision.”

Tevos wrapped her robe around herself. She smelled leather and liquor and the charcoal smell of Aria; she shivered. Imagined taking those purple lips in hers and dropping her robe, letting those hands work her body into convulsions, perhaps wearing that delectable jacket while Aria did so. Instead she stood straighter, not giving Aria the pleasure of intimidation.

“Aria, I believe I've made it quite clear that this is no longer appropriate.”

“ _You don't get to make that decision_ ,” she snarled, again, mouth barely opening. “Tell me right now you don't want to do this - you don't even want to try - and I'll leave.” Aria ached to grab those hips in her gloved hands, the leather sliding over smooth skin, but she kept firm, let the closeness of their bodies suffice. Tevos stared straight past her, a tactic that made her blood boil. “Tell me!” She yelled, and her lover flinched, but to her credit didn’t step back, simply made eye contact. It infuriated Aria that she wasn’t cracking, wasn’t showing anything; there was no lip biting, no wringed hands, just that ramrod back and those cool green eyes.

“I can’t, Aria. _I can’t_. My career – your future… it would be foolish.”

“Hah,” Aria spun around and threw her arms up, “At the University? Tevos, seriously, do you think I came here for an education? I came here to deal drugs,”

“That’s precisely the problem, Aria,” she shouted back, tying her robe with violent movements, “I can’t be associated…” Aria was the one to go to pieces. Tears spilled over her cheeks as she stared at the wall. She grabbed a dishcloth from Tevos’ counter and crushed it in her grip, fighting back hitched breath; fighting to maintain her anger.

“Stop telling me you _can’t_. Tell me you _don’t want to_ ; tell me you can go on without me, tell me you don’t love me,” she turned around slowly, meeting Thea’s gaze again, hands clenched, cords sticking out of her neck. Tevos took a step back at the state of her.

“Aria, I want… Goddess, I’ve missed you, but-“

“But, nothing. _Tell me you don’t love me_.”

She took the final step, pressing into her, their lips so close they could taste each other's breath.

Tevos finally slipped; closed her eyes against Aria’s scent, her body heat. It was just a crack, but enough; Aria knew she had her.

“I don’t-I don’t love you.”

“Liar.” Tevos made a noise in her throat and fisted Aria’s collar – that damned collar that framed that strong jaw, directed attention down to those sculpted shoulders –but she didn’t move closer. Aria closed her eyes and spoke, low. “I love you. You’re the only goddamned thing I’ve ever… “ That was all it took. Thea’s lips met hers and they both choked back moans, the months apart suddenly feeling like a hundred years, like a lifetime, the surge of want threatening to snap them like violin strings. Aria’s hands clutched either side of her face, thumbs digging into cheekbones. She heard Thea breath her name into her mouth and she throbbed, felt weak. In an instant Aria lifted her onto the counter and tore open the robe, Tevos’ legs wrapped around her as she threw her head back, her weight on her arms. Electricity seemed to run up her spine, blue and purple biotics exploded the vase next to them; a shard sliced open Aria’s cheek, but she didn’t even feel it, didn’t feel anything but Tevos.

“Aria, please... I… _ah_ …”

“Goddess, Thea…” She ran her tongue along every spot of bare skin she could reach, leather-clad hands pinching her nipple, running along her azure, fingers coming away soaked. Tevos sat up, stomach muscles quivering, and she wrapped her hands around Aria’s neck, dragging her mouth down to a swollen breast. Aria dragged her teeth over it and Tevos screamed, head swimming with pleasure and the urge to latch onto Aria’s consciousness. Aria looked up from her chest, obsidian pools where pale eyes were, and let Thea in, dropping all her barriers; raw.

_Aria…_

_I’m not perfect-_

_Goddess, I’ve missed you, I’ve missed_ this

_I can’t promise I’ll change-_

_-can’t give you what you deserve_

_I want you_

_Fuck-_

_I do-_

_-I’ll try. It’s all I know-_

_I’ll try for you-_

_-love you_

_for you. I love you-_

_I’ve never loved anything-_

_Didn’t know- I could-_

_Aria…_

_I know._

Aria slid into her and saw it all – felt it all: beds and dinners and love made; lazy mornings, tea and papers and coffee; in traditional dress, wrists bound, tears cried; arms wrapped around a very pregnant Tevos; a tiny purple child with violet eyes and a defiant smile.

It came in waves and all at once, images shifting and blurring into the next, like coloured static, until a whole life together was laid out in front of her. Every dream Thea had ever kept hidden, locked away in the part of her she didn’t share when they melded, unprocessed, but now shared. _Yes,_ she thought, answered, simply affirmed, she didn’t know, _I’ll give it all to you, in my way… I’m me, I can’t change that; it’s all I know._

She shuddered and Thea came around her hand, rocking into her and bruising her hips on the counter, Aria’s body the only thing tethering her to the physical world. Something snapped, popped like a firecracker in them both, light, blinding and endless and they saw each other, whole, for the first time. _Yes, do it._ Aria gasped as their orgasm shattered around them. She felt herself falling, and snapped out of Tevos’ head, going stiff but clutching to her. _Fuck, did you…?_ She slammed into her again, another wave of pleasure to distract them both, and Tevos whimpered, almost unable to bear it. Slowly they came down and Aria kissed her, gently, shaking all over and unable to speak. Leading her to the bedroom on trembling legs, Thea undressed and made love to Aria with maddening slowness, bringing her to the brink a hundred times before tipping her over the edge.

“ _Aria_ …”

“ _Thea…”_

After, they curled into each other, naked bodies under cool sheets, and slept. Aria awoke and went into the bathroom, cleaning the blood off her face and staring into hollow eyes. She dug the drugs out of her pocket and snorted.

 

 

Boxing Day night the T’Soni estate held a Christmas feast, at least as far as Shepard was concerned. Jane didn’t even mind that the ‘turkey’ was a bit fleshy - some Thessian game bird with purple-tinged skin -; the mashed potatoes were slightly off-coloured; or that dessert turned out to be sweet, raw, veggies, served with a kind of thin sauce that stained her teeth black, it was just as wonderful as she could have hoped for. Benezia and Aethyta sat at the head and foot of the table, wearing the crass Christmas sweaters Jane had given them, obviously trying not to itch. Shepard beamed, grinning from ear to ear like an idiot as she shoveled blue potatoes into her mouth. Aethyta was darting her eyes back and forth between Shepard and her daughter. Liara barely spoke a word and Jane wondered what had transpired between her and her father upstairs, but Liara hadn’t brought it up, so Jane tried to forget.

The fact that all four people seated at the table had spent the previous evening in the rather sordid company of their better halves probably explained the subdued mood. Earlier, Liara had received another message from Miranda, asking when they were due back - “Jack is driving me crazy. I keep telling her to go find Aria and to give me a break; I haven’t been able to sit down for a week.” – and Shepard had received a late-night email from Aria, which had been strange to say the least:

 

TO: J. SHEPARD

FROM: A. T’LOAK

SUBJECT: COME HOME

Please 

 

She was speculating on that message when Benezia broke her train of thought:

“What time does your transport leave in the morning, dear?” she asked as Liara got up to clear the table; she had made it perfectly clear that Jane and herself were doing the dishes.

“Ten,” Shepard replied before Liara could, standing as well and grabbing Aethyta’s plate. “But it’s a quick ride to the station, so we don’t have to leave until 9:30?”

“Nine, to be safe, Shepard,” Liara replied, coming back through the dining room door and removing the used cutlery and glasses, “we don’t want to miss it.”

Liara had been on edge all afternoon, that funny pinched brow wrinkle, that been absent throughout Christmas, had returned with backup; Jane was glad she had forbade her from bringing any research with her, but could now see the stress of the missed time starting to pile up. She had disappeared during the evening before dinner, and Shepard couldn’t find her – not in her room, the library, the drawing room, even her father’s den – and Jane thought she was maybe doing illicit school work in private.

She was quiet while they did the dishes, even Jane’s towel-slapping antics paired with snuck kisses didn’t raise much of a response. “Liara, what’s up?” she touched her on the shoulder, dripping blue hands gently waving her away.

“I do not feel well is all, Jane,” she gave her a forced smile, and Shepard dried her hands and hugged her around the middle.

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry. Are you getting a cold? Want a tea? I’ll make tea.” As she went to fill the kettle over Liara’s shoulder the asari unplugged the sink and pressed the wash button on the dishwasher, shaking her head,

“No, Shepard, no tea. I am fine. But I want to show you something.” Liara went to the front hall and began to pull on her boots and jacket, as Shepard followed her and found her own. “We’re not going far.” There was a quiet glint in her eye behind that tight expression.

They poked their heads into the drawing room where Aethyta was already trying to dismantle the tree, much to Shepard’s dismay. Benezia saw the sinking look and touched her bondmate on the shoulder, “Leave it until tomorrow, The.”

“We’re going to take a last walk around the grounds,” Liara told them; her father raised a glass of Scotch in agreement, and her mother looked up from her datapad and nodded. “I want to show Shepard the rest of them before we leave.”

“It’s dark, be careful,” Benezia said, lips pressed thin.

“Mother, I’ve been going on digs for-“ Jane nudged her in the back and interrupted.

“We will, Matriarch.”

As they closed the front door and crunched through the snow Liara pulled slightly ahead, “I am not a child, Shepard. I can deal with my mother without your help.” Jane grabbed her arm and pulled her back,

“Hey, what is wrong?” Liara sighed and touched her forehead,

“Again, nothing,” Shepard took a half step back, eyes searching,

“Alright, sorry I asked.” Liara let out a long breath,

“I am sorry, Jane. I’m just-I am not feeling well, I’m worried about- well, my mother, we are getting along nicely, but if-“

“-But it’s time to go home, right?” Shepard laced her fingers behind Liara’s back and pulled her closer, she smirked and pecked her lips, causing the first real smile she had seen all day. “There’s my girl. I was starting to worry… about last night.”

“What about last night?” Liara squirmed out of her grasp and rubbed her temple, “Was there something wrong with… I didn’t think about the implications-perhaps“

“Liara, do you regret what we did?”

“Oh, no, Jane, no. I’m just, over reacting, as you said, a cold-“

“It’s fine, you’re allowed to show me your less-than-perfect side, T’Soni. I’m just a little sensitive too,” she laughed. “Sometimes,” she squeezed Liara’s hand as they turned down a path that had been cleared of snow, cresting a hill and coming upon a view that made Shepard stop in her tracks. Over the valley of unbroken snow there lay a pond, the surface glossy and unblemished, reflecting the faint yellow glow of the estate behind them. There were snowcapped trees, blue and pink in the twilight, and Jane swore she would have heard a pin drop in the winter still. Nestled on the edge of the tree line was a small house, and the windows alive with the orange glow of night’s comfort, smoke rising from the chimney; _very Norman Rockwell_ , she thought, watching Liara descending the hill and heading towards the house. _Or Hansel and Gretel…_ She jogged to catch up.

“I remembered your comment about a cabin in the woods, I believe it was? Well…” She opened the door and walked in, tapping her boots lightly on the floor, “this is our guesthouse… I guess it will have to do in a pinch.” Shepard stared at her, standing on the threshold long enough for the fire in the hearth to dim and then roar with the wind.

“Liara, I do not know what I did to deserve you…” As she stepped into the guesthouse and closed the door Liara was already removing her coat and boots; she didn’t answer, didn’t know what to say, but looked up from under her lashes with a smile. “You didn’t have to do this…”

“I wanted to. For you; for us.” She began to strip off her clothing and Shepard felt that fantastic punch in the gut she was coming to associate with a disrobing Liara. “Have a look around,” _I cannot get enough of this woman_ , Jane thought.

Shepard took off her outerwear and wandered around the open space; rich golden beams of wood went beautifully up into a peaked ceiling, the glass and stone of the fixtures and mantles enhancing its glow and bringing a modern feel to the rustic. Liara had evidently purchased every candle in Armali; the walls flickered with dancing shadows.

She wandered into the kitchen and the candlelight illuminated a bottle of wine perched on the counter and ready to be opened. She smiled, a warm glow spreading up her chest. “Honey, this is incredible,” she called, opening the wine and finding two glasses.

As she entered the room she almost dropped them, stopping mid step and catching her balance at the last second.

Liara was laid out on her back in front of the fire, naked, radiant in the flame’s glow, arms up and hands crossed above her head. The plush, white-fur carpet set off the blue of her skin. Shepard went to her and kneeled, prompting her to rise to one arm, where she took a glass of wine. “The things you do to me… I just can’t even explain.”

Jane kissed her slowly and then took a sip of wine, staining her lips red. Liara went to drink hers but seemed turned off by the smell, placing it on the table nearby.

“Still not feeling well?” Shepard rubbed her back as she lounged out next to her; Liara began to remove her jeans, unbuttoning them slowly before sliding her underwear off. Jane let her.

“It’s fine Shepard, let me do this for you, unless you don’t…” She seemed to withdraw into herself, limbs sinking closer to her body - barely noticeable. “I thought maybe after last night, this morning, perhaps you-“

“Everyday, Liara. I meant that…” Liara let out a heavy breath,

“Shepard, I’m so afraid of what you make me feel. It is not rational, it doesn’t fit into any kind of-“

“It’s not supposed to.” Liara tipped her head, the suggestion of a smile, sighing before nodding a little.

“Okay. Okay.” Shepard set her wine down next to Liara’s,

“You said that to me once before, if I remember…”

Liara closed her eyes and nodded her head, remembering as well, and Jane continued. “What we did – what I hope we keep doing, forever – was a huge thing… I love you.”

“I love you too, Shepard. That is what scares me,” but she kissed her, hands dug into the depths of the carpet. Jane sat with her back against the table and opened her arms, where Liara leaned into her, arms protectively holding her. “I don’t regret it, Jane. Not one minute of it, Goddess, the way your hands feel on me, how it felt when we- I just…”

“You’re stressed about school, your mother is driving you a little nuts, and you feel insecure about us, right?” Liara stiffened in her arms, then leaned her head into Jane, “can’t fool me, T’Soni.” Liara laughed, a light, tittering sound, like bells,

“Well- No, I suppose I cannot… Shepard, I-” Jane grabbed her wine and pressed her head against Liara’s.

“I don’t want you to feel like we have to do this again, if you’re not ready– all the things we shared in the meld, I can’t sort through them either.” She squeezed Liara a little harder, who nuzzled into her in response.

“I want to, Jane.” She ran her hands along Shepard’s arms, crossed in front of her waist.

“Then please believe what you see and hear in this crazy head of mine, okay?” She kissed Liara’s shoulder and neck, so tantalizingly close to her, the velvet skin burning against hers. “Trust it.” She lifted her hands to Liara’s breasts, rubbing circles with her palms and continuing to kiss her neck. Liara made a small noise in the back of throat and leaned further into Shepard, exposing her neck to that tongue while nipples hardened under her touch. She sighed and Shepard’s exploration turned to soft kisses, tapering off to nothing but skin-to-skin contact.

Liara reached behind her and found Shepard, who sighed into her neck as her hand slid through the wetness there. Her arms tightened around her as she found that bundle of nerves, begging for attention. They didn’t speak, Liara didn’t meld with her, just continued to use that wicked hand to caress her, until Jane’s breath was coming out of her nose in sharp blasts against Liara’s neck. She stiffened against the table behind her as Liara finally curled into her, the angle not ideal, but the sensation cool relief against the burning anticipation of it. Seeking fingers set off a chain reaction in her and she had to fight to keep from crushing Liara in her grip, until the best had passed and she let out a contented sigh. Liara brought her fingers to her mouth and licked them off, slowly, looking over her shoulder at the spent Shepard, and Jane shuddered. “You’re going to kill me…” That demure smile again. They disentangled and lay in front of the fire, and Jane began to sleep as her lover started into the flames, lost in thought.

 

They couldn’t stay forever and after checking the time they resigned to head back to the house, after cleaning up. “I hope to God we can sneak in unnoticed…” Shepard worried, after second-guessing her shower. “You’re lucky, you don’t have wet hair to give you away.” Liara blushed, not ready to share her childhood wig fascination. As they waited for her hair to dry Shepard drank her wine and they chatted about nothing, about everything: Their upcoming school work, new semester, classes for Jane, Aria’s strange message, and Jack and Miranda - “You still didn’t see that coming?” - Eventually the fire died a little and they dressed, blowing out the candles and stomping back to the house through the freshly fallen snow.

 

They shared the rest of the evening with Aethyta and Benezia in the kitchen, sharing the last of the Christmas cookies and drinking tea and hot chocolate. Liara’s parents were obviously dreading their daughter’s return to school, but Liara herself was a strained ball of nerves, sitting with her spine straight, barely touching her tea, glancing at the clock.

“Alright, babes, I’m hitting the hay. Your mother wore me out last night,”

Benezia shook her head as she cleared the island, eyes closing as she laughed. “I will be up in a minute, The.” As Jane helped with the clearing Liara slipped out the door and headed upstairs.

Shepard did a double take when she found the island empty, and paused for a long time outside Liara’s bedroom door before retiring to her own. _Goodnight, Liara. I hope you’re alright…_

Liara lay awake for a long time, laying on her side and staring at a poster without actually seeing it, her mind a wall of noise.

_Oh Goddess…_

 

The morning was full of hustling and tears, as the two readied for departure. Shepard professed her endless gratitude to Liara’s parents, who both hugged her tight and assured her it had been a more than lovely time for them as well.

“Come back anytime, doll, I like having someone else around here who gets me, not like these two debutants.” She hugged her daughter who was awkwardly standing, waiting, staring at her feet.

“Goodbye, Little Wing,” Benezia crushed Liara in her arms, evidently holding back tears,

“I love you, Mother.”

They both waved from the doorway as Liara and Shepard pulled down the driveway, holding hands but each looking out their own window in silence.

 

Once they landed they went their separate ways with a kiss and a promise to call after they had unpacked. Shepard dropped her bag in the hall and looked around the quiet apartment, shoulders slumped. It was good to be home, but it was lonely; Liara had been so distant, she wasn’t sure if she _should_ call her. As she loaded clean clothes into drawers and onto hangers, she went over the last few days in her head, remembering tender touches and flaring desire; content silences and the recent turbulent ones. _What did I do?_ She thought, slumping on her bed, hands behind her head. _Liara, come back to me…_

She slipped out onto the balcony and lit up a smoke, sending off a quick message to Aria asking her to meet up later and sneezing through the smoke. _Ah crap, caught her cold._

_Of course you did; you were literally inside of her…_

Her Omni-tool beeped and she was taken aback when it was from Liara:

_My apartment is in disarray. Please let me know if you see Aria._

Jane opened the vid Liara had attached, a pan of the kitchen and living room. She gasped, the normally pristine place was turned upside down – clothing strewn on the couch and chair backs, on lampshades, on the floor leading into the bathroom; not all of it could have been Aria’s. The sink was were piled high, the dishwasher was open, full of dishes clearly going moldy; the floor looked sticky and full of dirt. _How did she do this in days?_ Suddenly her message made a lot more sense…

She tapped out a reply:

_What happened? Are you okay? Haven’t seen her, but just sent her a message._

_Obviously, I didn’t expect you to have seen her yet - just when you do. I am fine._

Shepard rolled her eyes:

_Jesus, Liara, fine. I get it. I won’t bother you again._

Radio silence.

The cold Liara was complaining of hit her like a hurricane their second day back, and she showed up at Shepard’s door with soup and an apology.

Since they had arrived back from Armali, they had been alternating; spending their time between apartments, mostly because Shepard refused to let Liara sink into whatever mood she had carried with her from her parent’s.

Sickness found Jane the third. Curled in bed - first Liara’s, and then Shepard’s - nursing each other’s flu with a combination of cuddles and grumpiness, they suffered through the worst of it within a few days. Miranda had stopped by with provisions, “You two look like crap,” she had said, standing on the doormat and not touching either of them. “I’m out.” Jane fought the urge to kick her in the ass as she left.

On the fourth Liara was still nauseous and irritable. Wanting comfort one minute, snapping at Jane the next, and she had finally had enough. She slammed the cupboard closed, whipping open the fridge and handing Liara a glass of juice with a little too much force. She sat at the counter, bundled in blankets and reviewing her research, and she glared up at Shepard, flicking off her datapad and shoving the glass back at her. “I don’t want it, thank you.” She returned her gaze to a compiled report and began to highlight sections.

“What _do_ you want, Liara? What do you want from me, huh?” She threw up her hands and banged the kettle down on the stove, leaning against it.

Liara looked up from her papers, tapping the pen against the counter in agitation.

“I do not know what you mean, Jane,” ice in her eyes; so much like her mother at first meeting.

“Fucking Christ, seriously? You’ve been nothing but miserable since Christmas, ever since we had sex.”

“Jane-“

“Look, if you are processing emotions that’s one thing, I’m patient, I love you, but this shit… I’ve had enough. ‘I’m fine,’ ‘it is nothing,’ fucking curling away from me in bed, you won’t sit near me, can’t even look at me.” She had stalked around the kitchen and Liara drew into herself again, warily watching her emotions boil over: the clarity of anger in her eyes, the controlled but violent movements of her limbs.

“Shepard, stop being ridiculous. I am here, with you, why would I be, if-“

“Listen, if you don’t want to do this, fine. Leave. But know that I do, okay, I do and-“

“Enough.” Biotics swirled in the air as Liara began to pack up her things, “I do not want to fight with you.”

“Liara… you don’t have to leave,” she sighed, “you’re sick, I don’t want you out there in the cold.”

“I appreciate that, Shepard, but I would like to be in my own space,” she threw her bag over her shoulder and pulled on her coat, “I will call you.” Jane watched her go. _How come I feel like I’m the one in the wrong here?_ She thought, helplessly. _How do women do that?_

Shepard threw the kettle in the sink and opened her Omni-tool, sending a message to Aria:

_You alive? Haven’t fucking answered my other messages._

Beep: _Barely._

Tap, tap: _Drinks?_

She put on her own coat and locked up, heading to Purgatory.

_You read my mind…_

 

The usually cool Aria was a crumpled mess by the time Shepard got there. She grabbed two drinks from the turian bartender, leaving a healthy tip with a nod; Aria was on the dance floor with a shuffling krogan and two asari maidens hanging off her.

_Well, that’s not a sight you see everyday…_

Jane leaned on the dividing post and watched as the de facto Queen of the room rocked her hips into the two giggling girls, who pawed at her clothing, the krogan forgotten. Aria slipped and fell, cackling and spotted her from the floor, “Shep! Come on in, the water is fine.” Shepard downed one drink and waltzed over, holding out her hand and pulling her to her feet; Aria stumbled into her space, hands bracing on Shepard’s chest. They froze, lips barely an inch apart, their history a hairs breadth from repeating itself. “Trouble in paradise, Shepard?” Aria breathed, almost soundlessly. Shepard, beleaguered from a week with the distant Liara, almost closed the distance. She handed her a drink instead, the spell broken, and didn’t answer.

“Jesus, Aria, how much have you had to drink?”

“Would you believe nothing?” Jane narrowed her eyes and searched Aria’s, which gave nothing away.

“You smell terrible. Where have you been?” They found a corner and sat on a purple couch, waving over another round.

“Leave the bottle,” Aria demanded, slapping her credit chit on the small table.

“Liara is going to kill you, you know – what you did to the apartment.” Aria shrugged, taking a shot and refilling Jane’s glass.

“I’ve been around,” she looked at Shepard over her empty glass before filling that one too. “Doing this and that,” her voice dripped with sex, but Jane noticed the heaviness, the unhinged tone just below.

“Aria, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Shepard,” she turned away, scanning the bar and appraising a passing commando. “Life is grand.”

“For you maybe,” Jane took a glug of her drink, feeling the alcohol burn the whole way down, “Liara has been a basket case for like a week…” Aria laughed,

“And that’s different than usual, how, exactly?” Shepard glared at her, half-heartedly,

“So, you two – that’s finally for real?”

“Yes, and Jesus, Aria… Well, it was worth every minute, but now, fuck, I think her mother did a number on her psyche. She’s all moody, guilty, angry? I dunno.” She downed another drink.

“No fucking kidding? Thought getting laid would loosen her up,” Shepard nodded.

Aria dug out a small bag and glanced around, taking a bit of powder and hiding it away in one smooth movement.

“What the fuck, T’Loak?” Aria shrugged again,

“I’m dealing with some things…”

“So you’re putting shit up your nose? The exact thing you swore you would never do again, if I remember correctly. Jesus. No wonder you look like crap.”

“I do not look like crap, and you know it, Shepard,” she slid a hand over Shepard’s thigh. Shepard just looked at her for a minute. She did look like crap, but she also looked, _well, fucking delicious. As always._ _Just…_

“Come on Jane, for old times sake…” Aria straddled her and sipped her drink, and Jane leaned back into the couch, trying to put some distance between them.

“Aria, you’re high, stop it.” Aria ran her hand through Shepard’s hair, so much like Liara, and Jane had to clench her teeth, goosebumps everywhere. “Get off me.”

“Make me.”

_You don’t love her. You love Liara. Even shitty Liara._

“It’s Tevos, isn’t it? Still haven’t seen her?” Shepard tried to ignore the pounding between her legs; _it would be so easy to just slip into the bathroom… No. Fucking no._

“Oh, I’ve seen her,” Aria ran her hand along her jaw and Jane smelled leather and women. It did nothing to lessen her unwanted desire. Aria leaned in and took Shepard’s lips, biting the bottom one and sucking on it. Shepard shoved her off with two hands to the chest,

“Jesus, Aria, get off me.” Aria landed on the ground with a thump, but the fight Shepard was expecting never came. Instead she hung her head and sat against the couch, eyes slightly crossed, as Shepard wiped the blood off her lip with the back of her hand. “What is wrong with you? You need help.” Jane strode around her and out of the bar, lighting up a smoke and using the wall to keep herself steady. She was shaking, wanted to go back in and finish Aria off. To take her by the arms and shake her out of the drug-addled state. No sooner had the thought crossed her mind, when the door opened and two large turian threw a struggling Aria out into the snow, head first.

“Get your fucking hands off me,” she mumbled, eyes drooping.

Jane had just enough time to think about how lucky they both were that Aria was high, any other time and they would be red smears on the wall, before those eyes closed and she slumped into the ground.

“Come on, T’Loak, let’s get you home… I guess it’s time I return the favour.”

“I don’t know how to… I want to give her…” Aria mumbled and struggled against Shepard, trying to remain upright, “I just… I can’t change…”


	25. Chapter 25

“I think I’m pregnant.”

Shepard titled her head and stopped moving, searching Liara’s face. “What?” For the second time in her life, time seemed to stop. She swallowed, hard.

Liara had shown up at her door after two days apart; Jane had sent her a message telling her about Aria, the drugs, the kiss, all of it, but she hadn’t received a reply – stomach sick and sure they were over, she had been getting ready to head to class when her buzzer rang: Liara at her door, no smiles, just an expression as tightly spiraled as a spring. She sat at the counter as Jane threw school supplies in her bag.

“You’re-?” She stuck her tongue through her teeth, eyes darting from side to side, “Are you sure?”

“No.”

“Okay…”

“Shepard, we went so deep into each other, I-what if I went too deep? What if I am? What if…” She twisted the necklace Jane had given her in her fingers.

Shepard went to her and pulled up the other stool, knees touching, “Is this what all of this was about? This whole time…?”

“Your message about Aria made me realize how selfish I was being, how I could lose you… if…

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Liara looked away, down at Jane’s homework, at forgotten sentences and statistics.

_I would get a girl pregnant… that’s just how my life goes…_

“Jane, I am not used to working, well, dealing with other people. My field is a solitary one; I have never been in a relationship… my mother-“ Shepard just raised her eyebrows. “…I was afraid you’d leave. You have to – you can’t possibly give up your whole life… Asari often raise their children alone, in fact no sexual contact is strictly necessary to conceive, and, Goddess, she’ll barely be an adult, even if you vastly outlive current human lifespan predictions-“

“Liara, look at me. You’re babbling, and I am not having the lifespan conversation.” She placed her hand on her girlfriend’s knee, trying to duck her head low enough to make eye contact.

“How do you know, I mean, do you know, _for sure?_ ” Liara shook her head and Jane smiled, feeling a weight rise off her chest. “You have the flu, honey. Tired, nauseous, bad-tempered, achy…”

“But, I began to feel this way directly after we-“ she lifted her eyes and tears were swimming there, but the facial expression was, finally, the woman she had first met.

“And I have it too… now tell me, does this sound logical to you, Doctor?”

“I am not a doctor, yet, Shepard,” she cracked a sad smile, rubbing her stomach absent-mindedly with one hand. “I am so young, and I do not know if I was careful enough…”

“Okay,” Jane rubbed the back of her neck, “Okay, say you _are_. How long are Asari pregnancies?” Liara shrugged,

“Slightly longer than humans; about a year.”

Jane nodded and looked at the ceiling, lips moving silently as she calculated. She began to mumble, planning aloud. “Okay, so, I can graduate in six months if I make arrangements and take some extra courses, and then I can reenlist, probably will have time to finish basic before she comes- get benefits… that’ll at least give us a head start, send her to school… Of course you can finish your studies – as long as you’re not too sick –“ She looked at Liara, “wait, do asari get morning sickness?” Liara just stared at her, mouth agape. She started to cry, sobs shaking her shoulders, snot running down her face, entirely unappealing and yet Jane’s heart ached with love. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. We’ll figure it out.”

“No, Shepard, I’ve been such a fool… I should have told you- I am sorry, I have been horrible to you.”

“Well, yah, but I kinda get it now,” Liara threw her arms around her, crying into her neck, “You were an idiot though.” A muffled voice came from her neck,

“You would stay?” Jane rubbed her back and hushed her,

“Of course I would. I love you. I would marry you if you let me…” Liara’s crying started to die down and she retreated back to her own stool, purple and embarrassed.

“Do you really think I simply have the flu?”

“Yes, honey. But, we can wait and see, take a test, just to make sure, okay?”

Quietly, “okay.”

“You’re too adorable for words, Liara T’Soni. One minute I’m afraid you’re going to freeze me out or rip me apart with biotics, the next you look like you’re about fourteen…”

Liara kissed her, hard, and Jane didn’t mind the wetness on her face, the dripping nose and flushed skin, she just realized how much she missed that mouth on hers. She moaned into her and Liara’s breath hitched, hands frantic to peel off Jane’s shirt. The rose together and stumbled to the living room, Liara tore off her dress while Jane hopped around on one leg, pulling off socks, before collapsing on the floor when they miscalculated how far away the couch was.

She pushed herself off of Shepard and invited her over to the relative comfort of the carpet with a raise of her brow; Jane crawled towards her, but Liara pushed her back down onto the floor with a flick of biotics, leaving Jane smirking. “Okay, then.”

Liara hovered over her, on hands and knees, bringing a dark tongue to her earlobe, swirling, causing Jane to push her shoulder blades into the carpet. “Ah, Liara…”

“You like that?” She whispered, voice low and even. 

“Oh God yes,” Shepard tried to run her arms along her lover’s back but found her wrists pinned behind her head with a small singularity field. Shepard tested it, pulling to no avail until Liara took a nipple in her mouth and sucked, grazing it lightly with her teeth. “Ah, Jesus…”

She kissed her way down tight abdominal muscles until she came to Shepard’s pants, where deft fingers made quick work of the top button and zipper. Jane lifted her hips as Liara pulled them down, underwear and all; she shivered, despite the warmth that was climbing up her limbs. Liara ran her hands up Shepard’s thighs, and then pulled in the opposite direction with her nails, kneeling between parted legs, the smell of Jane’s desire hitting her like a wave. She ran one hand back up, lightly brushing the hair between her legs, just a tone darker than the softer hair on her head. She had felt it before, but hadn’t really paid attention until now, and she felt something in her pull tight with longing to kiss it. She leaned down and placed a kiss there, feeling the coarse texture and Jane’s shuddering, before she ran her tongue along Shepard, mimicking what she had done in Armali.   
“Liara…” Jane’s voice was lower than usual, but had such a note of pleading it set her skin aflame. She licked, low and flat, and Shepard coursed into her, seeming to beg for more contact. She forget she was trapped and tried to reach for Liara, and grunted in response; it sent a jolt of excitement to Liara’s core, and she repeated the action, wanting to hear that animalistic cry again. “ _Fuuck_ …” She couldn’t believe the wetness she found with a few simple touches of her mouth, the silky texture, and the spicy smell with just a hint of acidity. She couldn’t place the taste, but was instantly in love with it; Jane was so warm and smooth and just slightly different than herself.

Shepard felt helpless, opened up with Liara between her legs, and her shoulders strained as she looked down at her. It felt so indulgent, hot, and then cold; her breath on her, the way she delicately explored, just barely giving Jane what she wanted. When Liara looked up at her with those ultramarine gems she collapsed back onto the rug, unable to bear the sight of her, chin glistening. She wanted reach out and grab Liara’s crest, to hold her still while she thrust against her mouth, but the singularity wouldn’t let her. Liara made another pass and hit her clit, and Shepard’s hips twitched. Liara decided she very much liked that reaction and latched onto it, pulling it into her mouth, high-pitched noises she had never heard come from Jane enticed her to keep going, to hit that spot over and over. “Oh, God, _Liara_. Oh, _yes right there_.” Liara’s eyes went black and she reached out to Shepard, who accepted her without hesitation; Liara cried out at the mirrored feelings of her tongue on Jane, frustratingly grinding against nothing. Emotions poured out again: love, worry, lust, blooming wonder.

Soon the holding of angular hipbones against wild movements wasn’t enough and Liara made a noise against Shepard, who moaned at the vibration; she had an idea. Sending her biotics out over Jane both made her whole body still and tickled every inch of her skin at the same time, and she heard her groan, “Not fair… _ahh_.” Liara relinquished her hold and went back to passing her whole tongue over Shepard, who had no choice but to stay still and ride out her out her peak without moving a muscle while Liara’s back bowed, and she squeezed her thighs together; the strangeness of having an orgasm with no physical touch was going to take some getting used to. Liara slipped two fingers inside of Jane and curled, remembering how wonderful Shepard’s had felt, and it started again; she could feel the second peak hit Jane like a force, no building, just blinding pleasure. Her biotics must have faltered, because before she knew it she was flipped around, pinned to the carpet by Shepard, who grabbed one shoulder with her hand and thrust inside Liara with the other. It wasn’t gentle, but she was open and willing after sharing in Shepard’s pleasure; “ _Ah_ , oh Goddess, Shepard. Jane, _ah_ … _yes._ ” Practically sitting in her lap Jane drove into Liara with a heated, primal need; she had never felt so raw, so out of control. She had never wanted to claim anything as much as she did right now – wanted Liara – _the mother of my child,_ Jane thought with fierce protectiveness - wanted her azure, wanted her to know it; wanted to make her scream out her name until she was hoarse.

“Oh fuck, yes,” Liara shouted out loud, and Shepard smirked, _Language, Liara._

_Ah-I just got-oh-Goddess-carried away-oh-by-the-shut up and fuck me, Shepard._

After that their heads were all steel wool and promises; no conscious thoughts, just images.

_Liara’s head between her thighs; as they were now, from both their eyes; Liara bent over a desk; Shepard with her head between twin blue thighs; Liara straddling Jane’s fingers, head thrown back, breasts bouncing; Shepard, with something Liara hadn’t even considered between her legs, gently thrusting into her._

Using her hand on her shoulder as leverage Jane thrust and Liara bowed and arched, her cries dissolving into frantic moaning and reckless shrieks. She met Jane’s every upward move with a downward one, limbs shaking with the effort; sweat dripping off both of them in droplets. Each could feel the sensations the other was experiencing; Jane felt the ghost of her fingers in Liara, but also how much she loved it when she curled them, slowly in combination with the speed of arm. It didn’t take long: “ _Ah_!” Liara threw her hands over her eyes and bit her lip, rocking on Jane’s hand as they came for a third time, hard enough to cause black dots to swim in front of their eyes. Shepard grunted loudly and shook, pulling Liara into her chest, barely able to keep herself from scratching down her back.

Trembling, they continued to clutch onto each other and Jane slowly reclaimed her hand, to a tiny whimper from Liara. She tucked her forehead into her neck and shuddered, suddenly frozen despite the heated exchange; Liara wrapped her arms around her and they lay in silence.

Liara broke it first: _Mmmm, I quite like some of those ideas I saw floating around in that ‘crazy head of yours’…_

_Which ones?_

_All of them…_

_Feeling a bit better now, are we?_

Liara hit her on the shoulder and suddenly they were each in their own heads, alone. “Yes,” She finished aloud, with a small smile. There was still worry behind those eyes, but Shepard kissed her and closed her own, wanting to sleep here, like this, forever.

“So, do you want me to go buy you a pregnancy test, or is there some weird asari thing we have to find?”

“You can find them at the pharmacy, yes…” Liara drawled, knowing full well Jane was being a pain, “but I already took one.”

“Of course you did…”

“It came back inconclusive,” she sighed.

“I bet that drove you nuts. ‘Oh, dear, data is not clear! Hypothesis neither proven nor disproven’,”

Liara whacked her in the arm, “I will have to wait and take one again…”

“Okay, honey. Until then, we can at least practice making babies,” she winked and kissed her again. “I think I’m skipping class today…”

“Shepard?”

“Mmm?”

“I hope-I mean if I _am_ -I hope she has your eyes.”

“I thought that wasn’t how it works?” She kissed her softly.

“One can dream.”


	26. Chapter 26

January’s snow hardened into February’s ice storms and they made it through. Shepard’s team got eliminated before semifinals, but she was kept busy with her new classes, and the papers and assignments that came with them. Liara had thrown herself into her research to take her mind off their potential ‘bun in the oven’, as Shepard called it, but when they were intimate Jane could sense the worry there; saw images of a tiny blue baby with vivid green eyes. Shepard’s stomach did a flip every time she thought of the possibility… A family - with Liara - was what she wanted, in time, but a baby before either of them was ready? She wanted to throw up, to run away and hide, to join the crew of some starship and get lost in the stars; she wanted to cheer, and buy little pink outfits and rub Liara’s stomach, grinning into it and bringing home late-night cravings. _I just want to know for sure_ …

There were babies everywhere she looked. Small asari girls, laughing; tiny turians, soft headed, colour not quite developed; mothers pushing strollers, carrying screaming toddlers; on every vid ad, every station, every bus she took. _How did I not notice all the kids before?_ She thought, looking up from her study nook at the library – a little purple face peering at her from between the knee-high children’s stacks. She felt herself smile, waving at the girl, who blinked and rushed away. _Yah, I could do with one of those…_

She found herself daydreaming in most of her classes, the professor’s words drifting into the _wonk-wonk_ of background noise, wondering where Liara was, how she was feeling, was she ill, was there a tiny bundle of cells traveling around with her slowly turning into someone they would both die for… she’d snap out of it when the bell rang out, her fellows hastily packing up their belongings, making plans. _A plan, that’s all I want. One way or another…_

They barely talked about their potential daughter when together, simply of _the plan_. No names bantered around, no talks of settling down, moving in. No, ‘Where is the nursery going to go?’ or ‘Oh, look at this sweet onesie, it’s blue!’, just anxiety and wondering and _planning_ , without a purpose. Shepard just wanted know; play the doting housewives, tell Liara’s parents, watch her begin to glow and _be happy, dammit_. Just move ahead… It was the waiting that was killing her.

 

Aria had come home with her proverbial tail between her legs, begging Liara to forgive her the state of the apartment, but was still suspiciously rare, and unusually quiet when she was around. Jane was fine with that. Didn’t want to see her anyway.

“I’ve been finding a lot of empty baggies around the apartment, Shepard, and I think she’s seeing someone; she’s never home.” Liara said, passing Shepard a bowl of green beans for the table.

“She’s in love, and fucking terrified,” Shepard replied, sitting at the table and pulling dishes towards her. Liara sniffed a few morsels and turned her nose up. “She’s back with Tevos, but she’s a mess about it,” she took a bite and noticed Liara did not. “Honey, eat it.”

“I have no appetite…” Jane glared at her over a forkful of Thessian mystery meat, “I do not know if it is nerves or-if I am-the baby-“

“Okay, this has got to end. We’re figuring this out once and for all.” Shepard tossed her napkin on the table and grabbed her coat, heading for the door, calling over her shoulder, “I’ll be back in a minute. Eat something!”

Shepard pulled her collar around her and half jogged to the corner, slowing down to a walk with her hands in her pockets. The pharmacy door slid open and dinged, the white light blinding after the outside dark. Shepard passed the cosmetic counter – _scalp-lightening kits, 2 for $20!_ \- and a display for semi-permanent turian war paint being put together by a tired sounding volus wearing a nametag and an enviro-suit the same colour as the name on the storefront. “Uh, excuse me?”

“Yes, Earth-clan, how can I help you?” He rasped, toddling around and staring up at Jane, who was at least double his height.

“Uh, I’m looking for the feminine section, uh, family planning?” She didn’t think wandering aimlessly was going to work in this case, “Not human, uh, asari, to be specific.” She blushed a little, “it’s for a friend…” The volus blinked, or she suspected he did, as he stared at her for a little too long. He clicked a button on his suit and a light above aisle 7 went green and Jane mumbled her thanks before heading for the beacon, muttering under her breath, “could find a less obvious was to direct me… I feel like I’m sixteen again…” An ad blared at her: _“Jane Shepard, does your wife want a firmer crest? Experiencing fringe droop? See us today!”_ She rolled her eyes, but was a little disarmed at the familiarity.

She turned the corner from aisle 6 to 7 and almost collided with someone standing in front of the pregnancy tests, “S-sorry. Professor Tevos?”

The only person she would have liked to see less would be Matriarch Benezia.

 _Oh god, Benezia... Oh god I never thought- what am I going to tell her? Oh fuck, she's going to flay me alive with her mind when she finds out I knocked up her daughter. Her very young, very pure daughter… Under her own roof. Oh fucking shit._ Shepard finally understood why Liara had been having such a shit fit over her mother the last few days they had been in Armali. 

Tevos turned her head with a snap and stammered a hello. Jane saw Thea hastily stick a long blue box back on the shelf, blushing dark and massaging her forehead while avoiding Shepard’s eye. _Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Aria’s? Or…? Either would explain Aria lately_ , she thought. Shepard tapped her hands on her thighs and rocked on her heels, suddenly very interested inthe first thing she could find on the shelf: _Uh, oh, good, turian vaginal cleanser._ She dropped it quickly and went scarlet. “Um, I just need to-“ she gently reached around the frozen Tevos, “sorry. It’s, uh, actually- could you maybe direct me to the-“

“These are asari, Ms. Shepard,” Tevos finally spoke.

“Yes… well, I, uh, need one… for my, uh, my girlfriend…” Tevos didn’t comment, just picked the up the same box she had snuck back and handed it to her.

“Congratulations,”

“Yah thanks. I mean, if we are-“ she sighed, turning the box over in her hand, reading the warnings and feeling a sickly flush creep up her limbs at the drooling blue baby in the picture. They stood in silence for a minute, Shepard torn between the urge to run and the need to confess.

“Jane-“

“Thea-“

The both blushed this time.

“Professor, I don’t mean to pry, but Aria…” Tevos sighed, her hand still working her forehead.

“It was my phone call, wasn’t it?”

“Uh, no. We’re rather close, or were. Well, she’s my girlfriend’s roommate, and-uh-never mind.” _Yes, good job, Shep, admit to the pregnant biotic that you slept with her partner…_ Shepard wanted to sink into the floor, wanted the volus to waddle down the aisle and save her with more awkward stares, wanted the whole planet to blow up; _anything_. “We haven’t told anyone,” she added, hastily, crushing the box in her hands, “listen, it’s none of our business-“

“You are correct. It is not.” Those eyes were terrifying. _Same colour as mine…_ she thought absentmindedly.

“Okay, I get it. I’m just worried about her, Thea. Uh, sorry, Professor.” Tevos let out a small titter, completely disarming Jane, who dropped the test.

“Thea is fine. I think we’re beyond ‘Professor’, Jane, now that we’ve both had the same woman.” Jane made a garbled noise as she bent to pick up the pregnancy test, “Yes, I know about you and Aria; you can’t hide everything in the meld, which I know you know…” She smirked a little, eyes pointedly going towards the box in Shepard’s hand.

“Well, this is awkward. I should go.”

“No, wait. Please. Aria…”

Shepard’s lips pinched into a thin line, but she decided to bite the bullet, “Aria is on drugs, Thea.”

“I am aware, yes,” she sighed again, and picked up a pregnancy test, beyond caring about Jane’s presence. She threw it in her shopping basket before continuing. “I’m trying to pretend I don’t, but honestly, Shepard, I can’t raise a child with an addict.”

Jane nodded. It all made sense now: Aria’s distance, her messages, her reckless abandon; she was terrified, and just so _Aria_ about it all.

“Aria knows?”

“Yes,” Tevos was suddenly glad for this meeting; Athame could be good. “We haven’t said it aloud, but we don’t need to…” She looked on the verge of tears, or as close as Thea Tevos came to it, “she wanted it, Jane…” she added, a note of desperation in her voice.

“She loves you, Thea,”

“As do I her,” she replied, picking up her basket and preparing to leave. “Say congratulations to Ms. T’Soni,” Shepard gave her a pleading look. “Your secret is safe with me, Shepard. As I’m sure mine is with you,” a pointed look on that note. As she headed to the kiosk Jane called to her, “Thea? Congratulations.”

“Thank you, Jane; it is supposed to be a joyous time.”

 _Oh my god. I might be a father…_ it suddenly hit her, made her stomach clench. But she also imagined a glowing Liara, getting bigger and bigger, bringing her child into the world; picking out wonderfully soft, vowel-filled names; first words, birthday parties, knee scrapes, bike rides; _how could I leave her without me? How could I leave her mother? I’ll barely get to see her grow up…_ She resolved to look into every modern medical device known to man, to quit smoking, to not eat pancakes every day... _I have to live at least 800 more years…_ She picked up a pack of nicotine gum and a box of patches on the way out, paid for it all and left; not sure if her heart was heavy or full.

 

“Holy shit, you’re not going to believe-“ Shepard came through the door like a bat out of hell, but stopped short with a smile. Liara had the fireplace on and was quietly drooling on her couch. To her credit, her plate was almost empty. Jane went to her and covered her with a blanket from the ottoman, before returning to the table and finishing her cold dinner. After dinner she snuck onto the balcony for a smoke, looking back at the pack of gum on the table. _Tomorrow… once this stress it over…_ She smoked and felt terribly guilty, pitching it over the side when it was only half done.

She was loading the dishwasher and running hot water into the sink when she heard,

“Shepard?”

“Well, hello,” Shepard grinned and turned off the taps, drying her hands and crossing the open space to Liara. She had risen, the blanket falling off her, and was stretching. Jane wiped the corner of her mouth with her thumb, making her blush. She held up the blue box, waggling it, but her shoulders rose and fell with a long breath, “do you want to do this now?”

“Yes,” Liara replied after staring at the box for a long time. Taking Jane’s hand in her own she leaned against her shoulder, “but, Shepard, if we are- if we’re having a baby-“

“Then we take it one step at time, darling.” They kissed and Shepard could feel Liara’s heart pounding, so much like the first time they had made love, “if she’s in there,” Jane placed a hand on Liara’s stomach, “we made her in love; that’s all that matters.”

“Is it wrong that part of me wants this?”

“No.”

They sat, both looking at the floor for a long time.

“So, do you like pee on it?”

“Shepard!” Then, quietly, “yes…” Jane pinched her arm and got off the couch with a flourish,

“Well, lets go find out if we’re going to be parents.” Liara paled, but nodded and followed.

“Oh hey, you’ll never guess what happened to me at the store…”

 

Jane stood outside the bathroom door, which was open, but politely averted her eyes as Liara took the test. “Part of you loves this, T’Soni, admit it. You get to conduct a test.” Liara laughed, most of it drowned out by the sounds of the toilet flushing and then running water.

“I have to admit I am intrigued by the process, but the results are so much more, pressing…” her voice was an echo in the bathroom. She joined Shepard in the hall, still pale, but the now-familiar look of curiosity shone in her eyes.

“How long?”

“Ten minutes.”

“Oh boy… I know what we can do in ten minutes,” Shepard kissed her neck and she actually giggled.

They lay in bed, after, clothing hanging from the headboard, the lamp, off the foot of the bed. Liara’s head was on Jane’s chest. “You think it’s ready?”

“Yes.”

“Should we go look at it?” Liara didn’t respond, just ran her finger along Shepard’s arm. “We can wait, if you’d rather…”

“Shepard. If I’m not pregnant, would you still…”

“Every day, Liara. A thousand years. Until the day you die.”

“Statistically I will outlive you…”

“Liara? Not now.”

“Okay.”

Liara rose and padded to the bathroom on bare feet and Jane felt a tight knot of nervousness sink to the bottom of her stomach like lead. To Shepard it felt like she was gone for a very long time. She reappeared in the door, every inch of blue skin showing, eyes shining with tears. She slowly shook her head, “I am not pregnant.” She held up the test, a bright red dot showing from where Jane lay. There was tightness in her chest that felt like hot glass being stretched: a hollow punch, the airy lightness of stress leaving and melting into a dull thud of loss. _You can’t mourn what you didn’t have,_ she thought, her jaw set. _It’s better this way._ She lowered her eyes, nodding slightly.

Liara came back to the bed, dropping the negative test on the night table, and curled into Shepard, who held her as the tears fell and silent sobs shook her body.

Liara, who until so recently she had pictured with a child on her knee, _Baby’s First Prothean_ book open, eyes soft as she helped her point to the pictures. Herself, a toddler in her arms, over her head, rushing around close to the ceiling with starship noises, the rich belly laugh before the inevitable dizziness. _‘Daddy, Daddy! Ship again! Again!’_

_I know, Liara, I know…_

“Liara,” she quietly said beside her crest, “part of me wanted it too.”


	27. Chapter 27

Shepard was dreaming. Her eyelids fluttered and she kicked the covers off, sweat pooling under her back. She let out a tiny noise, almost waking as her dream shifted.

_There was a boom and the cat-screech of metal tearing and the ship rocked sideways, throwing her into the wall. Sparks shot from electrical panels and bodies went flying, white-light balls of flame rocketing down the corridor and shearing titanium from the consoles, searing flesh to bone. Exposed cables hung like jungle vines and she ducked under them, around them, and she smelled her flesh burn before she felt the sizzle on her arm, but she keeps going, dodging other people, flying debris, stopping for half a second at a portside window and staring in horror at the ship alongside them, engulfed in too-red flames against the inky black of space. The emergency alarm blared its ear-jarring song, over and over, intervals she could set her pace to, as she dashed to the safety kit, grabbing an emergency suit and slamming it on, hot steam rushing past her head in white jets. The ship rocked again and she stumbled, righted herself on someone next to her, who was blown out of the ship as it began to crack in two. She stared, her dry breath coming in and out, impossibly even, to spite the carnage._

_“Shepard!”_

_She turned and fell into Aria, whose voice sounded electronic through her own helmet. “We just need to hold on, get everyone into the escape shuttles,”_

_“I’m not leaving you; T’Soni will kill me.”_

Oh, God, Liara…

_“And your daughter will grow up without a father if you don’t. I need you to get anyone still alive onto the evac shuttles,” she threw her an extinguisher and found her own, trying in vain to put of the electrical fires._

_“What about you?”_

_“I’ll take care of the distress beacon. The crew was just spaced.”_

_“Shepard…”_

_“Aria, go.” She tried to pull down the emergency panel, the back-up beacon in a ready state of yellow. “Now.”_

_She heard Aria rounding people up, “everybody in, go. Go, go.” Another explosion went off, like a cannon, and Shepard saw a body fly across her path, went rag-doll limp on the deck. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, willing the beacon to activate. She slammed it with her fist and it blared at her, flashing green. She saw the ship next to them, glowing like a hot stove, list and begin to fall into the planet’s atmosphere._ We were almost there… _flames licked her boots. The lost ship’s wing clipped theirs and she fell sideways as steel beams were exposed, glowing orange and splintering into fragments that battered her around the head. She dashed for the last remaining escape pod and was just inside, almost safe, when the ship sheared in two, the pressure sucking her out of the doorway, where she almost delicately bumped against the wall, the decompressed ship now a free-for-all. Shepard clutched onto the frame with white-knuckled fingers, but a loud sonic boom tore her away and she went spiraling, deceptively slowly, into space._

 _She looked over her shoulder, eyes wide in panic,_ Oh shit… _saw the ship explode in a fireball beyond her scope of understanding._

_Then Shepard was falling. Fire and smoke billowed out into the blackness of space, but everything was eerily silent, the vacuum turning the devastation into a silent vid. All she could hear was her own harsh breathing in her ears; a child hiding under a bed -even, but panicked. Also, numbered. She heard the underwater sound of a loosening connection, and frantically clutched the back of the emergency breather helmet, breath coming more rapidly now; zero to sixty._

No, no, no, no, no. This wasn’t supposed to be like this. Liara… _she struggled, doing summersaults in space, but knew enough from the military to recognize the feeling of a popped hose. Frantically clawing as she fell she closed her eyes and saw Liara's face, those blue eyes the last thing before unconsciousness took her, mercifully, before the planet’s atmosphere did. Some faraway star glowed orange over the horizon’s silhouette, creating a devastatingly beautiful vista, unseen by Jane Shepard._

 

She awoke with a strangled cry and sharp intake of breath. The sleeping Liara turned over and muttered. She vaguely remembered the feeling of being drawn into the planet's gravitational pull, but it faded quickly. Drenched in sweat she peeled off the t-shirt she had pulled on in the night and got out of bed, naked body cool against the apartment air. She splashed water on her face in the ensuite and stared into green eyes, grasping at the final straws of recollection. She had been dreaming about a baby - their baby. Their nonexistent daughter; blue skinned, lighter than Liara, but with the eyes that looked back at her from the mirror - when something else had happened, something terrible she couldn't quite remember. Almost real, like a different life, an alternate Shepard.  _Aria had been there…_

"Jane?"

She jumped. "I'm in here," she toweled off her face and went back into the lightening room, the morning air crisp at this early hour before the heat kicked back in. "Just had a dream..."

"Come back to bed," Shepard wanted to, wanted to touch that skin and draw comfort from her girlfriend, but she couldn't bear the idea of laying in the early light and clutching at the fading dream. She went as far as the edge and kissed Liara good morning, 

"Let me make some breakfast."

"Okay. Do you have class?" The asari stretched, but Jane knew she would be dozing again within a few minutes, before the smell of eggs and toast woke her for real.

"Not until 11,"

"Mmm," Liara's eyes had closed again, sleep softening the just-there wrinkles across her forehead. 

_And something about Liara… her eyes, I remember her eyes…_

As she cracked eggs into a hot pan she wracked her brain for what the damn dream had been about. The one before she could remember: Liara, pregnant, Liara with a baby in her arms, handing her to Shepard, who gazed down onto perfection, and then… it went blank. She sighed, making coffee while bread turned to toast. This time yesterday she had been a ball of nerves about being a father, _Now, nothing…_ she buttered hers, left Liara’s naked, dry and crumby. _Not nothing: Liara. You have her, she has you._ Jane smiled and poured two cups of coffee, heading back into the bedroom, calling softly to her. The asari grumbled and turned over, rubbing her eyes and taking a cup, “is breakfast ready?”

“Yes,” she landed on the edge of the bed and rubbed Liara’s shoulder with affection, sipping coffee, “you want some?”

“I do.” Jane didn’t know how to bring it up. Wasn’t sure she wanted to, yet?

They ate in silence, the unspoken hanging over them like a pendulum, and Shepard got dressed, got ready for class, and kissed her goodbye. “Lock up when you leave. I love you.”

“I love you too, Shepard.”

She leaned against the wall outside, taking one last smoke out of her pocket and crumpling the pack. Seemed absurd now, but she wanted to at least try. She smoked and stared up at a slate-grey sky - a sky fitting her mood. _Doesn’t know if it wants to rain or snow or shine…_

She popped a piece of foul-tasting gum in her mouth and plastered her arm with a giant patch before catching a bus, too cold to walk. As the massive transit car rocked gently back and forth she gazed, unseeing, out the window, watching aliens and humans alike live their lives, oblivious to her pain. She hugged her bag to her chest, leaning her head against it like a child, and swallowed tears; she didn’t cry in public. She didn’t even cry in front of anyone but Liara, maybe Aria, she couldn’t remember- certainly not in front of strangers. For the first time since she had met Liara, she was afraid; _I wasn’t lying, Liara. I will be brave. For you._

Her first class went by in a blur, and she loitered outside her second, fidgeting and sipping a cold takeout coffee. She had opened her Omni-tool and was playing a stupid match game when she heard the familiar sound of Miranda and Jack fighting.

“Is that so?”

Jane scooted around the corner and into Afterlife, where the commotion was coming from. The two women were standing with the bar keeping them apart and Jack held a smashed bottle of booze in her hand. Biotics poured out of both of them, blue and purple mixing in the air.

“Yes, you fucking bitch. I’m sick of this, go fuck yourself, Cheerleader princess whore,”

“Funny, I’m only a whore when you’re not begging me to suck you off, to slap you around, ‘Please, Miri, harder,’ ”

“Fucking Christ, Princess, I don’t need you around to get me off, plenty of other women around here.” She threw the bottle on the floor where it shattered.

“Who? Who is going to put up with your psychopathic moods, your pathetic tough-girl act? Shepard?” Miranda motioned to Jane, who held her hands up in a gesture of surrender,

“Hey, leave me out of this, I’m just here to make sure you don’t kill each other.”

“I simply came in here to drag her ass away from this drunken lunatic,” she motioned to Aria, who Shepard noticed was smirking and watching from a bar chair. “Kill her? Hah, that would be beneath me,”

Jack snorted, “you like being beneath me. You won’t walk away from this,”

“Don’t make me laugh, _Jacqueline;_ you’ll never even compare to the last man I was with, let alone-“

“Oh, _you cunt_.” Jack snarled, lips pulled back, and advanced on Miranda. ”You can just fuck off. Fuck you. Fuck you and your perfect breasts…” She took a step closer, “and your tight-“ Miranda kissed her as Jack picked her up off the ground, red lipstick smearing, ”and your killer ass…” Miranda wrapped her legs around her and they disappeared into the supply room,

“Oh, _Jack_ …”

Shepard shook her head and waved at Aria, who raised her glass and turned away. Jane checked her wrist and saw she had about ten minutes before class; sat down next to her.

“Hey,”

“Hello, Shepard.”

“You buying, or is it my turn?” Aria raised her brow, but slid over her bottle. “Thanks. Are those two serious?” Shepard sipped – didn’t want to smell like a distillery in class. “So…”

“So?”

_Really, Aria? Nothing? Fucking pussy…_

Aria met her gaze, as if she read her mind, and Shepard suddenly remembered why she had fallen into bed with her; sleek, edgy, almost criminal, but this veneer of aloof coolness… _there it was_. Her eyes were bloodshot, her jacket was rumpled, but there it was.

“Still doing that shit, I see?”

“None of your goddamned business, Shepard,” she drew her name out like every syllable had its own crown, “as I believe I have told you before. On many occasions. What is it to you what I put up my nose or in my fucking arm?” Jane grabbed her arm and pulled up the sleeve of her jacket before Aria tore it away with a look of disgust. “I’m not that stupid, Shepard. Stop being such a fucking Girl Scout.”

“Fine, T’Loak. Here,” she slid the bottle back and jumped down from the chair. “Have a great _goddamned_ day.”

“Shepard, wait…” She turned, hoping to see the side of Aria she had only seen in private. “Better luck next time,” Aria blew her a kiss and Shepard’s blood boiled.

 

Jane’s anger had barely abated by the time she was packing up, ready to head out from her last class – _History of Council Space: from Asari to Human_ – and she fought the urge to head back to Afterlife, where she just knew she would find _that damned purple bitch…_ She deactivated the silent mode on her Omni-tool before piling her datapads and books into her bag, and it chimed at her in Liara’s tone:

_My house tonight?_

 

Shepard didn’t even go home, just stormed across campus to Liara’s, sending a curt wave Harrot’s way as she was buzzed in. Liara had unlocked the door and was preparing dinner, much to Shepard’s surprise. “Whatcha doing?” She asked, peering around Liara, taking in ingredients and making a mental checklist: _beef – or something similar, okay, not too bad; bread, alright, she’s two up; lettuce, tomatoes…_

“Making, uh, ham-burgers?” Shepard pressed her lips together to hide her smile; Liara had egg down the front of her apron and hurried around the kitchen, spinning on the spot, before grabbing breadcrumbs off the table, hastily pouring about two cups too many into her bowl. “Oh, Goddess…”

“Let me, here.” Jane dropped her bag and pulled off her coat, slipping into a second apron and standing side-by-side with Liara,

“Shepard, no, I want to-“

“Let me teach you?” The asari smiled and nodded, looking up through her lashes,

“I would like that very much.” Jane dug around the cupboard for spices and then began to scoop out the excess crumbs, tossing them before kneading all the ingredients together, talking Liara through the steps.

“Here, you try,” she grabbed her hands and Liara laughed, pulling away at the slimy texture.

Liara toasted the bread while Jane made a salad, convincing Liara that they did not need French Fries. “Pro-tip, T’Soni: get buns next time,” she juggled the hot bread onto a plate and grabbed her ass for punctuation, then kissed her as they sat. Liara refused the salad out of protest, but ate two burgers, and Shepard was glad to see her appetite returning.

“Would you like another, Jane?”

“Nope, salad for this kid,” she heaped more onto her plate and pulled up her shirt sleeve, “and I’m quitting smoking.” Liara furrowed her brow and swallowed another bite,

“Really?”

“If we’re going to have little blue babies some day I want to be around for them,” she took a drink and began to crunch on crisp vegetables. Liara put down her burger and looked over at her, then down at her lap. “Oh, jeeze, sorry, honey. I mean…”

“No, Jane, we have to talk about it. Eventually…” Liara sighed and they finished their meal in silence. “Leave them,” Liara said as Shepard began to load dishes into the dishwasher. She took her hand and led her to the bedroom, a bottle of wine in the other; the first Shepard had seen her with since Christmas. They lounged on the bed and drank the wine, while Liara checked her emails and Jane told her about her interaction with Aria.

“…And then she had the nerve to blow me a kiss, can you believe it?”

“Mmmm,”

“Are you listening?”

“Sorry, Shepard, I was just thinking, Aria is going through almost exactly the same thing we were, except she is living it out,” Jane snorted, pouring more wine.

“Exactly, I could throttle her. She’s throwing it all way; she has what I wanted, and she’s just-“

“You really wanted me to be pregnant?” Liara took Jane’s glass and put it down with her own, crossing her legs under herself and turning to look at Shepard, fully.

“Yes… I think. I mean, I just had all these dreams for us once it was a possibility,”

“Show me,” Liara’s eyes went black instantly, not the gradual, desire-fueled smoke she was used to, and she threw her mind out to Jane’s. Shepard was a little disoriented, the landscape of their consciousness quiet, calm, not full of sex and emotion. She concentrated and reached deep into her mind, her memories of the last few weeks, the day dreams and actual dreams and hopes and fears, and sent them all in waves as best she could. Liara reeled; Shepard could feel it, a strange woozy feeling, and snapped out of her head. They had clasped hands sometime during, and Liara looked down at their entwined fingers, rubbing Jane’s with her own.

“You would have been a great mother, Liara.” Jane held their hands up to her lips and kissed Liara’s before taking hers back, hushing the asari’s objections; Benezia and Liara’s relationship had leaked through on Liara’s part during the meld. “You _will_ be.”

“Shepard, thank you,” she leaned her head against Jane’s, closing her eyes against her twirling sentiments. “At first… I was terrified,”

“So was I,”

“But then… I wanted her, Shepard. I really did. I actually wanted to be pregnant and watch myself grow with your child, to hear her in my consciousness and feel her kick… I wanted to see her grow, to see you in her, to-“ a sob broke in her throat and a tear leaked out. “No. No more crying… I wanted to see you _with_ her. You are going to be an excellent father, Jane.”

“Someday.”

“Yes, someday, after. When we’re ready.” Shepard ran her hand along Liara’s crest, eyes soft, a woeful smile downplaying the love she felt. _How did I get so lucky?_ She thought, _how is it_ me _she loves?_ Meer months ago they had been strangers, now…

“I cannot believe how much it hurts to lose something I did not have,” Liara sighed, draining her glass and handing it to Jane, who rose and crossed the room, heading into the kitchen to get another bottle.

“I feel it too,” she replied, before closing the bedroom door, softly.

“Want a real woman, Shepard?” Aria stood in the doorway of her room's ensuite, leaning on the frame. Her jacket was off but her corset and pants were thankfully on; she had slipped up, though: there was powder on her face, on her fingers, and her eyes almost glowed; bloodshot purple paired with pale violet looking white in the lighting. “I hear Blue crying in there. What? Is she upset about her _mommy_ again?”

Aria didn’t know - couldn’t know - but Jane didn’t care; all the heartbreak and disappointment funneled into rage. Her vision tunneled and she was on Aria like a shot, dropping their glasses where they broke into a million pieces on the floor. “You shut your goddamned mouth!” Her fist collided with Aria’s jaw, knocking her back into the bathroom, head narrowly missing the toilet. She rose to her feet on a surge of – thankfully - drug-addled biotics, and tackled Shepard, who rolled into the wall and leapt to her feet, smacking Aria with a closed fist again, feeling her nose break under the force, purple blood splattering the painting on the wall.

Aria roared and socked Jane in the mouth, “I believe I told you if you touched me again I would kill you, Shepard,” she wiped the corner of her mouth, purple staining her glove. Shepard stared at her, shoulders heaving, tongue stuck between her back teeth; iron and copper on her taste buds. She spat bright red blood onto the asari’s boots.

“Shepard!” Liara was in the doorway, eyes wide, unable to process what was happening in her hallway. Jane gave her a scathing look over her shoulder.

“I don’t care,” she rushed at Aria again, shoulders out, head low, and heaved her into the wall, “At least I’ll die fighting for what I love, unlike you,” she punched her again, dodging Aria’s counter with fluid reflexes, “who runs away from it; chases it away with fucking self-destructive behaviour.” Jane drew back her arm and gave Aria several blows to the ribs, right then left, over and over, which knocked her back to the ground. Shepard was relentless, kept her down with pummel after pummel, each punctuated with a snarl:

“Tevos is pregnant and you’re on fucking drugs?” Smack. “I just found out Liara _isn’t_ ,” a left to Aria’s temple, “Do you know how fucking badly I wanted to be a father to her child?” a right to her jaw, purple splattering her opened knuckles, “how fucking scared I was?” a downward angled punch to the bridge of her nose, “and you’re fucking it all away?” She drew her arm back, but felt Liara catch it, holding her fast.

“Stop it! Get off her!” Shepard tore her arm away but dropped it, giving the prone Aria a kick to the side instead. “Get yourself together, Aria.”

“Fuck you,” Aria managed through a swollen face, and she stumbled as she rose, as Jane turned away, giving her a dismissive wave of her hand. “Cute, that you think I care about your little almost-accident, Shepard,” Jane was thrown into the opposite wall in a wave of bright white light, and Aria landed a punch on her brown, above her eye socket, hard enough to split it open. “That I care about what you have to say about my fucking life.” Shepard felt the blood pour down her face and staggered to her feet, grabbing the asari around the middle as Liara screamed behind them. They tumbled to the ground, fists flying and glass embedding, rolling over and over, two equally matched warriors using thigh and shoulder muscles to pin the other and get a few hits in, before being thrown to the ground again.

“Stop! Stop it!” Liara threw out a field and both women floated helplessly, inches off the ground, glaring silently, bodies heaving with ragged breath, their blood mixing into a terrible colour on the floor. Liara dropped them both and they slid down the wall, identically, bumping shoulders and panting.

Each took a look at the other and Liara was afraid it was going to start again. Green eyes glared into violet ones that were dangerously narrowed. Nostrils flared, fists ached to be raised again.

Instead, they both began to laugh, pressing bruised joints against the other, closing eyes. Shepard patted Aria’s thigh, roughly.

“Good fight, T’Loak.”

“You’re lucky I’m high,”

“Or what, you’d kill me? Small chance of that,” Jane spit out another bit of blood, thankful a tooth didn’t follow “you like me too much.”

“What are we going to do, Shepard?”

“I don’t know…” Aria’s head dropped between her knees and she spat out more blood overtop of Shepard’s glob. Liara shook her head and threw her arms up.

Shepard dug around in her front pocket and pulled out a scrunched pack of smokes, digging through it for two unbroken ones, throwing an apologetic look to Liara before lighting one for Aria and sticking it between swelling lips. She burrowed under her shirt and tore the nicotine patch off her arm before lighting her own, taking a huge drag and breathing out a contented sigh.

Liara just stared at them, at the destruction that was her home - at the blood sprayed walls, toppled tables, and broken picture frame glass - before turning on her heels and into the kitchen, excavating for icepacks and medi-gel.

Sitting at the kitchen table, Aria had a black eye blooming and Shepard held an icepack to her fat lip. Liara was dabbing medi-gel on Aria’s face, on cuts and bruises that had been wiped of blood. Her broken nose had been the first thing healed, and her features were starting to be her own again. Shepard sat in silent pain; Liara had made it abundantly clear that as she had ‘started it’ that she was the last to be treated. She rinsed a cloth out in the sink, mumbling about displaced testosterone; “…should have done my PhD on hormones and their effect on gender issues… not that Aria has an excuse, mono-gendered… I cannot believe you two were sexually involved…”

Aria gently fingered her ribs, wincing and grabbing the medi-gel, unclasping her corset and slathering it on.

“What? You’ve both seen it before,” she shot at them in response to their scandalized looks; “if you ask nicely you can see it again.” She did up the buckles and turned her attention to her knuckles, which were bruised but unbroken thanks to her gloves, unlike Jane’s, which were beginning to scab over and turn purple.

Liara finally got to her wounds and before she was through Jane felt like every inch of her body was covered in a thick layer of goop.

“So you know about T’Loak Jr., huh?” Aria finally spoke, pulling her gloves back on and definitely meeting their eyes.

“I believe you mean Tevos Jr., taking into consideration asari naming practices-“

“Blue, shut up-“

“Liara-“

Liara went purple and shut her mouth, sitting at the table with them and pushing a cup of tea on them both. “I ran into her at the pharmacy, buying Liara a pregnancy test… Thea was also buying said test,” Shepard shrugged, raising her brows and sipping tea. “We’re nothing if not in sync.”

“Your kid-“ Shepard waved it away, not wanting to bring up those feelings again. Knew she wouldn't get an apology anyway. Aria crossed her legs with a small wince, “How can someone like me be a father, Shepard?”

“The only way you know how – just be you… but the real you, Aria, not this deadbeat. You need to get off the drugs,” Aria rolled her eyes and sniffed her tea, pushing it away. Shepard pressed her lips together; she knew Aria liked that tea – it was the same one she had filled her cupboards with, during what seemed like a million years ago. _Always the tough guy… can’t possibly let anyone in;_ a thought suddenly struck her – how lucky she was to be one of the few Aria _did_ let in. Not even Liara was among that group, at least not yet, but _she was_. And so was Tevos. “Do it for Thea. Do the right thing; you did for me, once.” Jane took Liara’s hand under the table. Aria shook her head, but held her chin high, all façade Shepard suspected, and grunted.

“No,” Liara said, barely above a whisper, “Not for Thea. Do it for your daughter.”

“What can I possibly bring to that kid’s life? They’re going to hate me, or worse, turn out like me.” She laughed, but it had an unsettling edge.

Liara spoke up, “…and very successful, self aware, able to protect herself…” she stared at the table, almost afraid to meet Aria’s gaze, “anyway, she will have Tevos to teach her the softer things… you can cover, the, uh, immoral aspects of life…” Aria glared a little, but tilted her head, listening.

“Yah, raise a little ass-kicker,” Jane smacked Aria on the shoulder and they both winced. Aria dropped her gaze.

“Aria, ‘How things begin isn’t nearly as important as how they end,’ remember?” Liara gave her the coy look Shepard had thought reserved for herself; she frowned and was thoroughly confused by the comment.

“At least go see Tevos,” she added, climbing out of the chair and hobbling to Liara’s bedroom. Liara stayed seated as Jane shut the door.

“I am not going to say you do not deserve all of this, Aria. Sometimes you are the most terrible person,” she sighed, “but sometimes… regardless, _your daughter_ does not deserve this.” Liara rose, following Shepard and leaving Aria to stew at the table with her wounds. She ran her hand over her face and crossed her arms, staring into her cup of tea before taking a drink of it.

 

“Shepard, I think you are literally the only person in the galaxy who could go toe-to-toe with Aria T’Loak… you are either very brave, or I have underestimated your intellect,” Liara helped Shepard out of her clothing; bruises were beginning to form on her ribs, across her shoulders, and on her face. She shrugged and fell backwards on the bed, groaning.

“Jesus, I haven’t been in a fight like that since I was a kid…”

“You will not teach our daughters to handle conflict in that way, Jane,” Liara demanded, standing over her, brows arched in anger.

“What happened to ‘able to protect themselves’?“ Shepard asked, meekly. She was a little afraid of this side of Liara - afraid in a way she would never be of someone like Aria. Liara ignored her and climbed into bed, getting on her knees behind her and beginning to rub her shoulders. “Do you think she’ll do it? Go to Tevos, I mean, and make this all work?”

“Well, she has some time to debate it – you said Thea wasn’t showing yet, so she cannot be very far along…”

“I hope she does. I don’t know what it is about her, Liara, but I think Aria deserves more than this world has given her so far. You were right, out there, about her being successful. I think she’d do very well at anything she decided was important enough to do.” Liara kissed Jane’s neck,

“This is why I love you, Shepard. Ever my paragon of good, seeing the best in everyone.”

“I try.”

“Except when you are throwing punches,” Liara poked her in the ribs on purpose and she flinched,

“Well, that’s my renegade side; gotta balance it out, T’Soni.” She winked.


	28. Epilogue

Tevos dropped her access key ring in the bowl by the door and flicked through her datapad, looking for her bills. She shivered slightly; the first spring flowers had begun to bloom, but the air in the house was cooler than normal. Checking the thermostat she adjusted it and went to the fridge, opening it and pulling out a bowl of fruit salad from the day before. She knew she should be eternally thankful that she hadn’t begun to feel sick - _yet?_ – but, this baby was making her ravenous. Thea had yet to feel the tiny fluttering of another mind against hers, but she hadn’t needed the pregnancy test to affirm what she already knew; she was in there.

She dug a spoon out the drawer and went down the hall to the bedroom, planning on stripping down, running a bath, enjoying her snack, and going to sleep early; another wonderful perk – crippling exhaustion.

Aria was lounging on the bed, flipping through Shepard’s copy of _A Christmas Carol_. Thea almost dropped her bowl. “Aria! I-how did you get in here?” Aria smirked, had clearly been watching Tevos as she came down the hall, and tipped her head to the open window, where cold air billowed the drapes.

“If we’re going to live here when she comes, I’m upgrading the damn security.”

Tevos searched her face for sincerity, for signs of drug use, for anything… but Aria gave nothing. Aria leaned back and her jacket opened, and Thea saw she was bare chested under the white leather. _Well, she certainly knows how to stage an apology,_ she thought, feeling a hot flush creep at the sight of the soft curves of Aria’s breasts. Thea perched on the edge of the bed lightly, like a bird, and offered Aria fruit, which she took and popped into her mouth, licking the sticky juice from her fingers suggestively. Tevos wanted to believe it, that Aria was here, clean, but...

“I ran you a bath,” Aria said to break the silence, and Thea looked over to the bathroom door, where candles flickered and steam rose from the tub. Tevos closed her eyes. _Aria…_ She rose and reached behind her neck, unclasping her dress and lowering the zipper; as she walked to the bathroom it dropped to the floor and she stepped out of it. Tevos stood in the doorway and looked back at Aria, a question in her eyes. She turned into the bathroom and Aria heard her slip into the water, a deeply contended sigh audible even from the bed.

“Are you coming?” Came her even voice, reverberating off the tiles, and Aria leapt to her feet, stripping off her clothing on the way, pulling something out of her pocket as she went. She kneeled next to the tub and took Tevos’ hand where it draped over the side.

“I-I am sorry,” Tevos looked at her, seeking; couldn't believe those words from that mouth. “The drugs are done. I hate that shit anyway, I mean I’m going to keep selling them; I was just-“ Thea held a finger to her purple lips.

“Aria?” The silent questions masking as her name: _Are you back for good? Are you going to break my heart? Do you love me enough for this?_ Aria nodded, seemed to know what she was asking.

“I do want her, Thea; I’ve thought of her everyday. You just have to know, this life is all I know. But, I’m going to try to… adapt.” Tevos looked at her - naked, vulnerable, and honest - and fell for her all over again. “I’d like to name her Liselle. I don’t know if you’ve thought of anything yet…?”

“That’s a beautiful name, Aria.” She brought a wet hand to her cheek and Aria closed her eyes against it. Aria opened them again after a long while,

“Look, I don’t do bondmate bracelets, tends to ruin the image, but, here,” she held out a bracelet and Tevos looked from it to her; it was woven metal, rose and gold and silver in delicate band. “I-I didn’t know which colour you’d like…” She tucked her bottom lip under her teeth, her turn to search Tevos. “ ‘She is sitting there before me. There is the graceful outline of her form; it cannot be mistaken – there is nothing like it.’ ”

“…’Why is she so excruciatingly beautiful that I cannot be angry with her, even now?’ ”  Thea finished, eyes crinkling in the corners as she smiled, “So, you’ve read that one too?”

“I had a lot of time on my hands… will you?”

“I will, Aria.” Aria fastened the bracelet around a slender purple wrist and kissed her; it felt like an anchor to her soul. Aria slipped into the bath, scooting Tevos forward and sitting behind her, placing her hands over her stomach, imagining a tiny girl floating, dreaming; their Liselle. Thea leaned back into her and admired her bracelet in the soft light of the candles.

“It is one thing to leave me, Aria. If you _ever_ leave her, we’re done. I will make it so you never get within three systems of her again, are we clear?” Aria removed on hand and traced those white lines she had missed so much.

“I love you, Thea.”

 

Summer was split between Armali and Serrice. Between Shepard’s skyball little league coaching, and Liara’s PhD research; visits to a rapidly expanding Thea, the fiercely protective Aria, and Liara’s parents; between college-aged frivolity and settling into domestic life together.

After Harrot saw the damage done to their apartment in residence Liara and Aria were firmly asked to vacate the premises: _“With barely contained anger, you will not be receiving your damage deposit back, Ms. T’Soni;_ _morose rumination, perhaps Ms. T’Loak was not the correct roommate for you…”_ Then before they knew it, Tevos was the size of a house and classes had begun again. _“I can’t wait to fucking graduate…” Shepard had lamented, a pile of books and datapads surrounding her, projects beyond count due._

Aria had disappeared again, but with Thea’s blessing this time; she returned the new owner of a seedy club she'd frequented during her time as a dancer, on some forsaken rock in the Sahrabarik system.

_“So, you like run a syndicate now, or…?”_

_“Just letting everyone else do the dirty work for me, Shepard. Let’s face it: sex, drugs, illegal arms – they pay the bills, but I don’t need my daughter in the midst of it.”_

Thea Tevos had married Aria T’Loak in a small ceremony on a Sur’Kesh resort, with Jane Shepard and Liara T’Soni standing by their side. Miranda and Jack sent their regrets via an honest-to-god, old-fashioned paper postcard from Earth: ‘Just Married: Las Vegas, Nevada!’ two different colours of lipstick stained the back next to the xoxoxo’s. After breaking up and getting back together more times than any of them cared to count, their elopement floored Shepard, who opened and closed her mouth like a fish, holding the postcard in her hand.

 _“What? You did not see that coming, Jane?”_ Liara had teased.

All of Thea’s extended Salarian family attended the Tevos-T’Loak wedding and the party went late into the night; asari dancers from Omega arriving at the 11th hour, much to the outward dismay of both Liara and Tevos. Secretly, they had arranged it: a late bachelorette for Aria, who reveled in the attention and got spectacularly drunk. Liara slipped away during the festivity as Shepard was going shot-for-shot with Aria, off the flat stomachs of blue-skinned strippers. Jane stumbled into their room in a tizzy; she had tried her keycard about a dozen times before she realized she was trying to unlock the door with her credit chit. She was halfway through pulling her shirt over her head, desperate for water and sleep, when a throaty voice, dripping with sex, stopped her in her tracks:

“Hello, Shepard.”

She peered through the neck hole of her shirt, realizing too late it was a button-up, and a slow grin spread across her face.

“My God, Liara. You _have_ to stop doing this to me…”

“What fun would that be?”

Liara was standing next to the bed, red, silky lingerie barely covering her breasts and azure; the straps on the bikini set looked very flimsy, tied in bows on her hips. _She still makes my mouth go dry,_ Jane thought.

Matching three-inch heeled shoes capped off the picture; pointed toes and straps winding around slim ankles set off Liara’s legs, and Jane watched as Liara bent one of those legs at the knee, grabbing the heel behind her and tilting her head to the side, exposing an elegant neck that begged to be worshipped. _Well, well. Been reading Fornax, Liara?_

The petals of some white flower were scattered on the floor, leading from the door, to the bed, on the sheets… Jane struggled out of her shirt, tearing the seam down the back in her hurry. While she was stripping off her bra Liara came to her, placing a soft hand on her chest and directing her to the edge of the bed, where she thumped down, pulling Liara with her. The asari straddled her lap, running fingers through damp red hair, and Shepard buried her face in blue cleavage, cupping her breasts but not removing the garment just yet. She ran her tongue up the centre, pulling Liara closer and tracing her collarbones, coaxing a moan that made Jane wet.

“God, Liara. I’m so drunk…” Liara laughed and shoved Shepard’s shoulders down, so she was lying on the bed with her feet still planted on the floor.

“Hmmm, well…” Liara leaned over her and nibbled on her earlobes; it was Jane’s turn to moan. As her girlfriend undid her pants Shepard stared up at the ceiling, willing sobriety. When she was done undressing Jane, Liara took her time undressing herself, undoing strings with maddening slowness, swinging her hips and grabbing her own breasts at they came free of the cups. Shepard stared, unblinking, salivating and aching to touch her. When Liara wiggled out of her panties, with the finesse of the dancers downstairs, Shepard thought she would come just watching her. Liara rejoined her and gently tempted her to the middle of the bed, leaning over her with breasts just above her face – just out of reach – and opened the bedside table. “Well, drunk or not, Shepard, for what I have in mind for you do not have to do much…” There was that naughty glint in her eye that drove Shepard insane with yearning. She felt something long and hard slide between her legs and she twitched into it, _Oh, Liara, you read my mind…_ Liara turned around and Jane was treated to a close up of her most delicious physique; she could see it glistening, could smell her arousal, and she grabbed full hips, reaching with her tongue and taking her. Liara pressed down and let out a long whimper, obviously not expecting Shepard’s mouth on her. She rocked on her face, momentarily forgetting her purpose, before returning the gesture, Jane crying out, the sensation heightened by the alcohol.

“Oh, God, I love you,” she said around Liara’s clit, making the asari jump. Shepard felt Liara’s fingers slip into her and she clenched around them before releasing and taking them deeper; soon she was close – so close – but Liara stopped, climbed off her face and kneeled between her legs. She held up the toy and ran it through Jane’s wetness again before slipping the shorter end into her with almost no resistance. Liara ‘Mmmmm’ed her consent, running a tongue along the shaft that stuck up out of red hair – Jane felt every sensation like it was her own clit. _Thank God for modern technolooggy-_ “Ah, Jesus…Oh, I’m gonna-Liara, stop _teasing me_.” Liara brought her lips to Jane’s, straddling her again, and kissed her; Shepard tasted herself on them.

“Lay back,” Liara whispered against her ear and Jane did as she was told. Liara sat up, kneeling over Shepard’s newest addition, and slowly lowered herself onto it, throwing her head back as she was filled; Jane almost came right then, as Liara’s heat covered her, 360 degrees, all smooth silk and molten wetness. _No, I was wrong:_ this _is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen…_ Shepard thought of all the times Liara had surprised her, one-upped herself. She fought the urge to thrust up into her, wanting Liara to dictate their pace. Liara’s eyes opened and blackness met Jane’s greenery, and she let out an airy exhale before beginning to raise and lower herself on Shepard. Jane reached out and put a hand on each of Liara’s breasts, kneading and beginning to meet her movements with her own. She grunted, unable to articulate the feelings, her emotions, in any other way. Liara grabbed Shepard’s hands, covering with them her own, becoming more confident in her tempo and starting to rotate her hips. She leaned back, her hands behind herself, on Jane’s legs, pumping up and down and around, cries coming from her very depths. Shepard watched, fighting to maintain control, as Liara’s breasts bounced, her skin broke out into a light sheen, and her moans became more urgent. Soon she leaned forward, body pressed against Shepard’s and Shepard grabbed her hips, hard enough to bruise, pounding up into her, unable to help it. Every inch she moved felt like heaven; she had never imagined…

“Ah, ah, ah, _ah_ -“

“Oh, God, Liara,”

“ _Jane, please_ …”

“That?”

“Oh, Goddess, there, _there_ ,”

“Liara-“

“Don’t stop…”

“I won’t-Oh God, I won’t-“

“Ahhh, ah, _Shepard_!”

Liara went stiff above her and she felt her clenching, fluttering, around her, unlike anything she had felt before, and she slammed her down onto her again before screaming out with a harsh yell, spilling into her. Shepard twitched her hips once or twice, unable to help it, and Liara made a shrill noise, almost on the edge of pain. They stayed like that for a long time before Liara rolled off her, with less grace than she had earlier.

“Well, that was quite the surprise…”

 

Christmas was upon them again before they knew it.

“Are you packed?” Liara came out of their bedroom pulling her shirt back over her head; living with Shepard had its ups and downs, and sometimes they were the same – being overcome while trying to do chores was one of those times…

_“Shepard, stop, I’m-“_

_“Come on, Liara, it’ll only take ten minutes…” she kissed her crest, drawing a sigh from her, “just ten lousy minutes…”_

_“Well…”_

_“And just think, me, alone, missing all the naughty things I’ve taught you…”_

_“Well I wouldn’t want you to be distracted by a dancer on your layover on Omega…”_

Jane was sitting on her suitcase, which in turn sat on the ottoman, trying to get it to close,

“Yep, just put some last-minute things in.”

“Shepard! How many? You’re only going for a week,” Liara raised her brow markings and shook her head, using biotics to pull the zipper closed.

“Well, Aria gave me a few things that Thea forgot…”

“And Aria does not have her own bag?”

“ ‘It ruins the image’ or something… don’t know why, like crime lords don’t own luggage?” Jane replied and Liara rolled her eyes, checking her Omni-tool for the time. “I can’t believe I’m going to miss Christmas…”

“For the birth of a child, Shepard…If you do not leave now you are to be late for your shuttle,”

“Ah, shit.” Shepard dashed back to the bedroom and emerged with her toothbrush, giving the closed luggage and inquisitive look.

“Buy a new one, Jane,” Liara sighed and pecked her on the cheek. “You know your itinerary?”

“Yes: Here to Omega, pick up Aria at Afterlife – I wish she had given that damn club a different name – one last night of debauchery – don’t worry, _no dancers_ \- before both of us are off to Sur’Kesh to meet Thea. Baby is due any day, so we’ll be back in a week at the most.”

“If she’s on time…”

“She’s Thea Tevos’ daughter. She’ll be on time,”

“She’s also Aria T’Loak’s daughter; she may be fashionably late.” Shepard kissed her, grinning. “Here,” she handed Jane her necklace, “wear it. Part of me will be there for the excitement.”

“I can’t believe the Pirate Queen of Omega is going to be dad, like, any second…” Shepard said as she clasped the necklace around her own neck. “I remember when she was just some kinky broad in my-err-never mind,” Liara gave her a contemptuous look, and smiled behind her hand.

“I wish I could go with you,” she said, quietly, Jane pulled her coat on; it seemed like winter had come again within a blink of an eye.

“Me too, honey. But defending your dissertation is more important,”

“Is it?” Liara sighed again.

“And when we get back we can play doctor for real, Doctor,” she nuzzled her neck.  
“Still not a doctor, yet, Jane,” she teased, but opened up to her kisses.

“You will be in a few days,” Liara moaned against her mouth, and Shepard almost reached down and grabbed blue breasts under her shirt, but managed to tear herself away, “Okay, I’m gone; I love you.” Liara grabbed her arm and pulled her back with another kiss, whispering next to her lips:

“Come back to me, Jane Shepard,”

“Always.”  

 

She finally remembered her dream.

 _“Come back to me, Jane Shepard,”_ she heard in her head as she fell through space.

_No, no, no, no, no. This wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be a thousand years, and blue babies, and…_

_Liara… I’m sorry Liara. I’m sorry I won’t be there to catch you this time… I tried to be brave…_

She closed her eyes and saw Liara's face, those blue eyes the last thing; the only thing that had ever mattered.

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Work contains dialogue recognizable and lifted from all three Mass Effect games, and therefore those words belong to Bioware and are simply being borrowed by me to create this AU.


End file.
